Mentalz vs Oz.
 

Battle Rules:

Topical
16 - 40 Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Topic: Passing Me By

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 01-12-06 at 07:23 PM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

Oz. has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-09-06 07:25 PM.

Mentalz has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-09-06 07:27 PM.

Good luck man. ;)

I'll prolly use all of the drop time just cos' i've been busy lately and the next few days are going to be hell at work. & I've been sick.

Giddy Luck Big Man

....................Oh YEah Goodluck To Dog

That Came off teh dmoe bcuz i prolly wont be back on none this week either with school and church and all that so yeahh \


Goodlukcy

Im hella retarded and posted it in the normal quick reply by mistake first. :p

Voted For: Mentalz

v/mentalz

i think oz. didn't really go too much indepth with his, it was easy, and he basically just grazed on the topic....focused too much on rhyming it. mentalz came here with a vivid story of a guy who let it all slip away from him, and i really liked it, even though it should've been longer, well, it seemed like it easily could've, but yeah, mentalz definately came with a nice piece here, good job to both

rtf on this with an explained vote please
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=219121

v/mentalz

Thanks bro, gona peep it now. Appreciate the feed and explanation. Oh and the vote.

Voted For: Mentalz

Best topical battle I have peeped in a while both come
really dope, both using two different styles.

Mentalz ~ really nice writing fams, your verse was the
more complex. You had a very good use of vocab and
the flow was on point.

I liked the way you broke the verse up and the whole
concept of the verse. Trying to make people realise that
if you don't do nothing now you will just regret it in the
future.

Oz totally different concept to Mental and the style of
writing to. You verse was more fluid with great flowless
flow a very enjoyable read. The creativeness in the
story was great.

The reason I went for Mental was because I felt that
his verse was more complex, and a very solid drop. Oz
I think if you droped the same amount of lines u would
have taken this.

Stay up both and keep writing very enjoyable battle

1~

Yeah I Gotta Admit Man Your Lines are more complex than mines but my Plot is better than yours i think

We Need to Collab Sometime dog what do you say?

Yea, hit me up. Uppin' the battle for feed or votes.

.................................................. ...............

This was feedback posted for Mentalz
 

....................checkin the polls....................

Voted For: Mentalz

nice job to both, mentalz took this, he had vocab on point and his descritption of the topic was way more in depth than Oz's. It gave more of an interesting story and kept me hooked to it while i just read Oz's Cause I Had To.....

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

Uppin............................................. .............

Lookin' for more votes, make feed over three million words or it'll get DQed.

Be back in a week to up it again.

Be back in a year when it's still up and taking forever to close.

.................................................. .................

Voted For: Oz.

A YO DAT SHYT WAS TIGHT ASS HELL WAY BETTA FLOW AND STRUCTURE VOTE// OZ

Voted For: Mentalz

Now this was a dope battle... illness from both... but only one can win right... with taht being said... OZ's piece was fire, had a nice flow to it with a real bleek demeanor I fucked with it fairly heavily... but Mentalz piece really put out the flames...

Opener: Oz
Closer: Mentalz
Structure: Mentalz
Flow: Mentalz
Imagery: Mentalz (Oz just by the nature of it couldn't really paint a picture... though I really do like cerebral type pieces)
Concept: Mentalz

Vote: Mentalz

You can keep that vote Oz. Hope you enjoyed it....

Voted For: Mentalz

mentaz u won this eazy u beat oz in every catagory
u both can use some more help but a like that u r try so keep it up

mentaz u flowed better and better lines oz u had the oppisite

Voted For: Mentalz

my vote goes to Mentalz.Yall both had some good pieces but I felt that Mentalz approched the topic better.Lets see Mentalz as I start reading your piece it had a real good opener which really opened my eyes to read your piece.And as I read down your piece you came good with your Imagry and emotion in this piece.Your Imagry was good cuz when I read the piece I could picture what was going on in your piece.And the emotion was real strong in this piece cuz I could really feel it when I was reading it.Also you had a good structure and good use of your vocabulary too.And also you were real creative with the topic.Oz your piece was good too.As I read down Oz piece he had a good opener also that opened my eyes to read your piece.You had good Imagry and emotion too but I thnk you could have went deeper with the emotion in this piece.But the Imagry was good cuz I could also picture what was going on in your piece too.Oz also had a good structure and good use of his vocabulary.And also he was real creative with the topic.But after reading both pieces in this battle Mentalz gets my vote.


vote/Mentalz