Are you ready to die?
 

Such theologist as Erikson and Maslo explored stages of human developement, and came to establish a pyramid of stages that one must reach to achieve the pinnicle of life... And therefore be "ready" to die. The final stage, Self Actualization, is more or less a period of reflection. When you're old, life isn't necissarily for living, but rather reflecting on what once was in order to make death acceptable. Many people like to feel as though it's never too late to change and make life fullfilling... Personally, I feel like that isn't really true. You can make yourself believe anything, but, to what extend does your subconcious truly support your thinking?

So, are you leading a life worth reflection... Are you ready to die?

I once thought I was... I'm not. I feel I need to accomplish alot more before I do. Plus I got some people who need me here. Like you.

Lol yes, I need you Deph.

Fucking AOL and their recycling asses,
Me - IP: 0825 899A
You - IP: 0825 899A

Hm, can't wait for the speculations on this one.

Lol sorry For double posting Nos. I forgot my password for myself.

I'm not ready to die...

But I think to an extent that after death here on earth, a person's worth is mainly measured by the legacy they leave behind. Dont dwell on the life your leaving instead think about what people will remember you by. The place your going is the final frontier, where you either continue on or unfortunatly reach an un-comprehendible halt and shut down of your universe eternally.

Nice thought...

am I ready to die? yes, do I want to? no. Being unreligious within myself I have basically established the fact that in the grand scheme of things my life, and anyother humans beings is pathetically miniscule. People say they are not "ready to die" because they have no accomplished what they wanted to, I believe in no such idea. You accomplish everything you were supposed to before you die, there is no point in struggling, its fate.

I'd hate to look at it that way. It's sort of like being in the wave of the ocean. A strong man could easily swim against the current and make it to shore. While people who dont' decide a thing and allow the sea to determine where they go. To me thats mad spineless. Just my opinion.

Yes, exactly man. There is an afterlife, and it's within the memory of others... So get out there and live, love, have family; Live forever. In the end mortality is only a personal boundary, all you have to do is strive for new limitation to be granted life times over.

Two statements that entirely contradict one another. You don't disclude religion, you doubt it, by reading an internet post I can tell that. Your personality is pecimistic and your outlook on life will only lead to a fear of death, rather than a welcoming to a "retirement" so to speak. You're afraid of religion, because you don't understand it. Many of the individuals so devoutly apposed to religion, are really the most lost and unfortunately hopeless people by their own seclusion. You don't really hate, or deny religion, you put on a front of utter disgust in hopes that one day some individual will present some fact that will lay the ground work for your epiphany, and then you can for once feel the comfort and love of faith that you've heard so much about. I know you because I am you, learn to love life... Trust me, it's not worth it await the end; dine at life and have an extra chair for death.

Life is beautiful man.

^^^Well to reevalute yoru analogy, this ocean you speak of is more like an undertoe, which is slowly pulling you out. By struggling you are just making things worse, and stressing and wearing yourself out for no reason. If you just let it take you, you eventually will end up peacefully washed up to shore. It has nothing to do with "being a man", more like side stepping the truth. I prefer to accept and embrace the truth, and enjoy my life without having to deal with religion, the afterlife and other pointless things humans fret over because we dont understand them. Juss cuz I have realized that my life is of little importance doesn't mean im not gonna sit on my couch all day smokin weed. It means I can pursue my goals and dreams without some sort of unreasonable set of expectations that will just lead to stress.


^^^fast forward a billion or so years, I could find a cure for cancer, aids become president and find a new type of energy that doesnt pollute and replaces gas, and still not one form of life in the whole galaxy will remember me. Does this mean I wont try to achieve these things? Of course not, but I wont strive to achieve them just to create an afterlife in other peoples memories that will comfort me when im on a hospital bed. I will strive to achieve them because as a person I want experience new things and help people. Personally I believe the afterlife and real life should always be seperate, because when mixed misery always follows.

^^^Life IS beautiful, I love life, but at the same time I try not to become to attached to it. I am FAR from "afraid" of Religion? Religion was created to quell the human race's innate fear of death. Its natural for humans to fear the unknown, death is one thing we'll likely NEVER understand. Religion gives us an answer to this question, Heaven, Nirvana, Paradise whatever you wanna call it gives hope to people who dont want to believe death is the end of it. Its like that movie with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore played a girl who got hurt in a car accident or somehting. Every morning she would wake up and relive the same day, her brothers birthday or somehting, and then the next day it would start all over again. So her dad, brother and all the other people in the town would play along and relive that day with her, just to let her be at peace mentally. To me the principle of religion is very similiar, you try to ignore the truth, in return for a peace of mind. And I'd much rather gain peace of mind without constantly worrying about god and the afterlife, and doing it my way. It comes down to wiether you prefer to follow "ignorance is bliss" or "knowledge is power". And yes, most religions do promote a good code of laws to live by. But i think they mostly just numb the topic of death, and fabricate a false reality in an attempt to help people who cannot get over the fact that it will all end eventually and there is nothing you can do about it. So personally I like to take a more philosophical approach to life, to give me loose guidlines that fit who I am as a person, and aviod religion.

i been getting closer and closer to the point where im suicidal...im not suicidal but i been consteplating it alot....i aint ready ta die but i dont wanna live...like i know if i die im giving up cuz i havent accomplished nuthin and wit how im living i cant do much ta accomplish shit and where im at is pretty much holding me back from what i wanna accomplish and i cant just leave...so there for im hopeless and i just wanna die but i aint ready untill i can really say i accomplished shit and my life is worth reflecting on not just by myself but by others

naw im not ready
my life is just beginning
im just now starting to write my story...

Well, for one I'm really hoping that you're seeking some sort of treatment.

I personally, have suicidal thoughts constantly. Almost a year ago I smoked some shit and it gave me an anxiety dissorder, coupled with cronic Derealization and acute Depersonalization... Which basically means, I almost never truly feel like I'm alive. I've chosen not to go on medication, which, the medication could only prevent the anxiety attacks but would do nothing for the feeling of things not being real. I had been doing good about 7 months, went with no panic attacks and I was making huge strides in recovering, but I had a relapse into my anxiety dissorder and basically, all of the tolerance and coping mechanisms I had built up just got reset back to the beging. Since then, if I think about the future and what I'm going to do... I get so overwhelmed I get anxiety attacks and the future looks so hopeless that suicide seems like the only option whether I truly want that or not. The thoughts of suicide are scary as fuck, for me it's like, I look to the past and remeber myself so happy and I was so independant and pretty much only stopped home every now and then to grab some food... But now I'm more or less just an agrophobe (afraid of leaving the house) because if I do go out I know I'm going to have an axiety attack. But on the other hand I also know that if I push myself to go out, and I have that attack and I work my way through it, that I'm another step closer to building that tolerance I once had back up. It's crazy stuff, but I definately know what it's like to deal with suicidal thoughts, it's like there another you that keeps pushing that idea when you don't even really want it.

Really though, odd's are you're depressed. Bring it up to your doctor and you can discuss therapy options that can seriously help. Good luck sorting out your life man, don't throw it away though.

thanx i appreciate it...but yea i relate to what u said except for the anxiety atacks and shit (has ta REALLY suck) but i mean like i look at now and the future and it is like hopeless...like what if i become like my father or continue goin the way i am now i'll NEVER be happy...my life is sooooo empty
i only had a girlfriend once or twice which didnt work out...i have NO friends
not cuz im a loser lol....just that i cant reach nobody they all like just not who i wanna be hangin wit...i actually come from a small town not a city so aint that many people around know what im sayin...not of my kind anyways...last time ANYBODY ever came 2 my house and just hanged and did shit was like 7 months ago straight and even back then shits been lonely
i only had like 3 real friends in my whole life which i lost and like no one even knows im alive im practicaly spiritually dead...just a living breathing corpse
after u start feeling worthless u dont wanna do shit..u cant write or do anything....lol u know how hard it is ta wake up in the morning ta try and face another day...man i defitnly gotta do sumthin

I dont have suicidal tendencies....but im not ready 2 die

due 2 the fact that i have not accomplished everything
that i want 2 accomplish

I can understand where you're coming from, I on the other hand am a very social person so I've got alot of support for my shit and a girlfriend who would do anything for me. Really, you've got to just go out of your way to meet people. Easiest way, join a sport... But small town people aren't going to try and meet you so YOU'VE got to approach them. And, don't think I'm just some preachy know-nothing, because I lived in a very populated city/suburb of Connecticut all of my life then right before going into freshman year of highschool my parents decided to move me 8 hours away to East Blue Hills Maine. The school had kids from 8 surounding towns going to it and still the student count hit a whapping 250. If you dont go after these people they wont let you in, trust me. Also, start running or exercising, again if you join a sport that would help gain some friend and would give you exercise. But, exercise is a natural anti-depressant. Exercise releases the same endorphans that anti-depressant medications force the brain to release, and there for it naturally fights off anxiety and depression. So, my advice man, really make an effort to get out there, even if you feel entirely awkward because once you make friends it will be well worth it... Besides, if you don't know anyone and you're non-existant than what does it matter if you make a fool out of yourself? Atleast you'll get the satisfaction of knowing you made a valid attempt at self improvement.

If you ever need some more advice feel free to get at me man, I've had to deal with a lot of emotional issues, so, I've got enough advice to write a novel and I'm always happy to help someone get there life back in order.

I used to have what Myself and Gladiator are talking about. That certain outlook on life... "No matter what I do in thsi life, it won't matter. Nothing will ever matter. This life is so short, and so pointless, if I died right now it wouldn't make a difference. I am so insignificant. etc."

But since then i've learnt a lot. I've learnt to enjoy life, because life is amazing. The fact that I exist is something that makes me happy. It might sound stupid, but it is a lot more complicated than it sounds.

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. Delicious!

I don't feel insignificant, I just have a condition that makes it feel as if I'm not alive called Derealization. It's not that I feel insignificant, it's that each day I have to fight for a sense of what "real" is, and some days it's just very hard for me to constantly remind myself that this IS life and I just spend the day in my room trying to sleep of a day. It's pathetic really, but I've got too much talent to let myself slip into never-was. Some days it's too much to handle and I slip into my own pecimism, and picture a future where I'm going to be lost in sub-concious and I'm afraid I'm slowing slipping into insanity, but I can always count on tomarrow for a better today. Everyday is a battle, you win some and lose some but there's no such thing as a casualty in a battle with self unless you let there be. So I'm living.

Nothing actually matters... If you enjoy sleeping through days, go for it. If it makes you depressed then dont do it.

yea werd thanx for the advice....i've become VERY lost in life...lol trust me i mean LOST...just about the most lost u can get...i was gon start working out anyway but i didnt know it helped wit ur depression
i'll defintly try workin out now :)

It doesn't make me happy, it's nothing more than an easy way out. It makes me happy when I go out and push myself and get a panic attack, but am able to work my way through it and be fine because I feel acomplished afterwards and I know I'm getting closer to conquoring my anxiety dissorder... But sometimes I don't have the energy for that, so I quit, and sleep, and wait until I'm stronger enough to handle my shit head on.

yea life is all about conqouring ur obstacles...i mean i may be depressed but im tryin ta get out of it all...even though i dont feel like doin nuthin but just
layin on my ass watchin tv drowning in my depression like i usually do
i used ta write and record shit of my own but like i said for the past few months i been completly spiritually dead i just couldnt hang on to it no more
and like i said before when u feel worthless u dont have the heart ta do nuthin so i cant write without just losin ALL hope
so my emptyness is getting in the way of draining my depression
lol i can get a lil complicated but because of what i said
i quit writing and recording until i can get a steady focus on life again
hip hop is a reflection of self....how can u be a emcee if u got nuthin ta reflect off of...know what i mean

'Sad how bad times make good music
Hope I can maintain this great depression
and leave myself guessing if I can out do the former until the end' - Alias

Keep writing, it's a good form of therapy aswell.

yea but u gotta believe in urself when u write...and i have NO belief in myself
at this point almost everything i do is worthless untill i can get myself into a position where anything is worth it

Maybe posting some shit everyone feels and getting some props will help you find a sense of worth in yourself.

yea defintnly...that could easily help...part of it is cuz nobodys around ta see my rhymes, yes im a closet rapper...but not cuz im shy but cuz like the town im in doesnt do ANYTHING wit music so im the only one doin music out of 10,000 people in the town...and when u come from a small town everybody knows everybody and if u dont their atleast related to somebody u know.
so u know how people gon react ta shit i been keepin my rhymes and everything to myself and to whatever site i go on ta protect myself from people thinkin im just fucked up and shit cuz i got enough shit ta deal wit everything else the way things is..if i was in a spot where it was more accepted or i knew it wasnt gonna be a problem tellin people here that i write
then i wouldnt mind but i know how the people would be here
but yea i could start droppin shit..that'll defitnly help :)

I wish I could explain to you guys the way I feel... It's so easy to be happy, it just depends on the state of your mind. If you look at things with a clear mind, you'll see them as they are and be content. If you look at things with a pessemistic mind, you'll see things in a negative light. Feelings arent things that just happen, you make them happen with the way you think.

nope. i am too fearful of the afterlife.

yea but some feelings you just CANNOT escape...some feelings deal wit ur sorrounding...the emptyness outweighs my depression....in a way i cant escape from emptyness cuz emptyness is all around me cuz there's nuthin around me...and thats why im automatically happy as fuck whenever im wit anybody who is down ta ride wit me...im automatically happy when i get people ta reconize me...i aint sayin im a lil immature attention seeker
but i defintly do love attention in a diffrent way though
not through immaturity but because of the emptyness that gets dragged along wit every breath i make

Explain the emptyness you're talking about.

Get up, get out and do something....

I think you need a larger sense of ambition and working towards goals. Maybe spend a few weeks working out and planning exactly what you want to achieve in your life time, then slowly putting together the blueprint of how your gonna do this from point A to point B.

The more you work towards a goal in life, the more fulfilling your life will become...

Na, when you're depressed though... You really CAN'T push yourself, no matter how bad you want it the motivation just isn't there. That's why he's really got to tell someone about this so that he has people forcing him do get up and to work out and everything else.

EXACTLY i want ta keep writing i hate ta quit but i have ta if i dont want ta write anything thats forced...everything i try ta write i like lose my motivation wit in less than like 5 lines that arent even that good cuz i aint got the soul ta push myself like i used to...

a loss of motivation really makes me question whether im really cut out for what im tryin ta do since i cant get myself ta do it like i used to...
but i know im serious about it and i know what im goin through is just a stage
i just have ta clear my life of all the depression and make my life seem more like a life and not so empty

what i mean by empty is i feel like there's NOTHING going on in my life
like i said i aint got NOBODY ta turn to for anything...
no friend, no girlfriend, no brother or sister, no family
and my parents are the most stubborn ignorant non-understanding parents i've ever met in my whole entire life so i cant depend on them
ta guide me through life by what i see in my parents i have a
clear understanding that my parents have less of a understanding on life
than i do...my parents will NEVER be understanding
like i said before i been in my house by myself for 7 MONTHS (not including school which i got kicked out of anyways)
i dont have anybody ta just kick it wit as far as rhymes and shit
and i could keep goin on....i feel like i have nothing going for me and nothing ever will be..thats what i mean by being empty..is having nothing

i dont mean ta make my life seem so gloomy but thats what been keepin me down in life...and i dont know how ta fix it...i dont get excited bout shit no more like i used to, i dont get scared or happy or anxious, i dont get motivated like i used to..feels like i been bored for an eternity
how am i ever gon feel like anything is worth it if thats what sorrounds me?

in this town there's only a library a few gas stations a department store, family video a few restaurants and other regular town shit...aint like the city where there places i can go ta fullfill my dream..if i had a studio or local radiostation i could go to or a place where i can do some shit live
or have a school that had plays and shit i could feel more fulfilled
but there aint nothing here and i cant go no where cuz i aint got a license
and i cant get my license cuz i failed every class but one in 9th grade and failed 3 classes as of last year..so my insurance would be sky high.
and i have ta pay for everything my driving tests, temps, car, insurance, gas
and i have a job im lucky ta get a day in a week ta work which pays me 5.50 an hour and i got nothing saved for a car..and my parents wont take me anywhere cuz its just a crazy unrealistic dream to them...so how can i get anywhere else?? i cant

Where do you even live?

:( wisconsin....

^ No wonder...

But really this topic is deep...How can one be ready to die, even if you kill yourself..your not really ready to die..

what u mean by "no wonder"???

lol it was a joke, even though i know a few people form Wisconsin and they all seem to be gloomy and ish...

That's just wierd...

lol oh...i dont know i guess wisconsin can just be kinda gloomyish
not too many people know what wisconsin like since there really hasnt been any emcees from wisconsin that made it large..but no matter how hard wisconsin might be clowned on there are some dope emcees here
in the state anyway..there aint any where i live...where u live?