NEVER have sex when you're drunk
 

Seriously, yesterday I lost my virginity (I'm 15 not 20 like people here seem to think) when I was raging drunk. I met this girl who's a nice girl, big tits, nice ass and shaved pussy. She was pretty drunk as well but I'd had fuckloads of cider and 2 cans of fosters. Pretty much all the people I was with were raging drunkards and I was one of them. So anyway I took her to the mens toilets in the town shopping centre, and they're nice toilets and all but what the fuck?

So we were both naked from the trousers down, and one of the most embarassing things happened. My friends Chris lost his virginity when he was drunk and he said he couldn't get it up and couldn't cum because the alchohol prevents the bloodflow to the penis from working properly. So he was shagging her for a while with a semi after trying for aaaaaaages to get it up and he just said "I can't do this without a hard on, sorry." I had the SAME problem, I tried for ages to get it up then finally did and was fucking her for maybe 2 minutes then banged my head on the toilet door REALLY hard and nearly lost conciousness. After that I couldn't get hard again, I was so ashamed. Big John had let me down when I most needed him. It's true I did finger and lick her out until she was squirting all over the place, but I'd rather have given her a good hard fucking ya know?

At least now I can say I've had sex, but next time I'm gonna be sober as a rock and horny as fuck. ANY guy who says they had sex while they were drunk and had a raging boner are lying through their teeth. The best you can do is a semi, maybe if you've had sex loads you could get it up after a while. But damn it takes ages, and it's 100 times better when you're sober.

HO HO HO HO NO lol

that is SERIOUSLY fucked up man...

but yo...self inflicted bruv...at least you've learned...and btw...it IS possible to keep it up if ya pissed...although i fell asleep while gettin head on Sunday by my girl...that was kinda embarassing but at least when i heard her say "oh sod ya then" i woke up and blagged my way into havin a fuck so...s'all good... :thumbup:

but lol what a story man seriously...i think that tops my story...

lost my virginity and got my ex pregnant same night...

I've heard worse virginity stories. My friends friend says she fucked this guy who was a virgin, and he cummed after 10 seconds. That was considerably more embarassing than mine, at least I managed to make the girl have an orgasm one way or another.

When I lost my virginity I was 14, I think I lasted around 2 minutes...


.... lol, best part was I didn't even know the bitches name.


But, word to what Apo says... having sex when drunk is fucking gay.... you spend to much time preppin the oven ....

LMAO. dont know whats wrong with ya'll jimmis... but mine works in all conditions yo :cool:

lmao 10 SECONDS...

i'm so glad i can say that i've never done anything like that...

10 seconds man, DAMN!

The shortest I've lasted is like 1:30...

i'm pretty sure you meant longest :rolleyes:

lol i'm j/k bruv...but ye i was at it for an hour 30 last night...but seriously...losin ya virginity like that...aint the most romantic way to lose it...but thats one HELL of a story lol

hahaha...hilarious story..regardless..."never have sex when you're drunk" is like saying "never take a piss when your bladder is full"

screw an hour thirty
im tryna go to sleep
maybe 30 before she start pissing me off
its too much for a 10 second payoff

thats classic...

*reminises*

my first time was ass also... but find yourself a steady bitch that loves to fuck and get your practice in... give it two months and you'll be a sex machine man....

on the note of "whiskey dick" or not bieng able to get hard while drunk... yeah that happens to.. but ive only had that problem when i was completely trashed...like two bottles a goose and jager trashed... but shit... i put down a couple fizzers and fuck a bitch for a solid hour....but yeah make that bitch suck your dick first... then you'll get hard garuntee'd ... watchin a chick swallow your penis is enough to make you hard on the drunkest conditions... haha.. but yeah good story.. sorry bout ya luck...

but now you aint gotta V card like serb and the rest of the lil kids in here

lol @ serb's vcard...am i the only one who pictures a v card as an actual driver's license-like card with a picture of serb on it?

lol

when he's legally old enough to drink he'll prolly use his V card as I.D to get in the clubs...

you're right...and likely let the big, burly bouncers take his vcard also

furthermore, june 3rd is the only good day to be born

lmfao i actually went 30 minutes and didnt nut my first time....how gay.....

she had to be home...and well...i just couldnt get it done in time..i have no fuckin clue why..........i did the complete opposite of what most people do first time lol

^ word...obviously for me i did...he's 2 now :thumbup:

SIGGED only bottom bit though lol

it's all good dude girls are usually extra cool about this kinda shit...as long as you didnt tell her its your first time shell just blame the alcohol...

and especially since you made the effort to make her come...it will be more along the lines of "that guy was so cute i wish he hadnt drank so much so we couldve had sex" instead of "what a fucking loser he couldnt even get it up" like youre thinking...

if i was you as soon she started moaning i wouldve been like "bitch wait till you see me SOBER!!" and gotten the number. If you got her off eating her out shed probably be more than willing to give you another shot at the pussy...

oh well...i guess the moral of this story is...it's happenned to everybody...girls know it happens...dont get self concious about it...just find another girl and have a proper first time...

You ate the pussy because you couldn't get hard?

ROFL.

That's weird because when I'm drunk, I get horny when there isn't any females around :-/. So I don't know what you're talking about. But next time pop an E pill then try to get some pussy.

SEX ON ECSTACY IS THE SHIT!!!1

^^^ sex on E is like...heaven. hahahaha hurry for doggystyle! lol just thouhg tid add that..the bitches love it

sex on e is pretty good...

sex on acid is better...

sex on blow is CRAZY...it makes girls FEIND for dick...like they want nothing more than to just have a dick in them...they hop around on it like a rabbit...

any of those three will work...

dont go overboard on the snow... that'll also cause impotence

^^ yup. and i dont think imma ever do acid...fuck that shit --_--

ive never had that problem...and ive done two grams to the FACE...like in six lines one after another...

acid isnt for everybody...if you freak out when youre on drugs DONT DO IT...if you just sit back and chill and you always remember that it's just a drug and it will be over soon youll be able to handle it...its fun as HELL..

how much is schema sounding like Nos right now?

dude 2 grahms...im talkin three balls.. then try to fuck...

LMAO...fuck you you drunk bastard...

na man for once i'm sober...

shits depressing as hell...

but erm i never really said in my previous posts...but drunken sex is the shit...the girl i'm wit now i honestly think i haven't fucked her sober yet...maybe once...twice...and i've lost count of the amount of times we've already fucked...

three balls is like what my dealer does when he feels like going crazy...

i cant hang with that level of blow especially the shit i get...haha you win that is what i call overboard...

you should meet my dude though...ive seen him like do a quarter then order a large pizza and go to sleep...

Putting a drug in your eye doesn't sound too appealing.

sniffing a couple of lines is going too overboard.

I'll just stick with my pills.

EVERYONE PUT A PILL IN YO LYFE!!

IT'S GOOD FOR THE HEART!!

yeah shit is cool when youre drunk enough that you can still get a rythym going...but i dont like that shit when you GOTTA be on the bottom because youre too drunk for anything else...that ruins shit...

sex on shrooms might be kinda cool?

although i've never done shrooms..



... yet.

nobody puts acid in their eyes thats goofball shit...

unless you do blow dont comment on it...a few lines lasts maybe half an hour...its like smoking one bowl of weed or something its nothing serious...

like they say in the Busweiser adverts

"True True"

you cant get it up on shrooms...

every time ive done shrooms its been like a couple hours that i saw shit melt and laughed and all that then like an hour of just having the most negative thoughts and wanting to curl up in a ball...

i dont really care for them id much rather just do acid...

lol @ cocaine is nothing serious.

why not just pop a pill and smoke a blunt and be high for like 7 hours.

you're trippin'.

and i've seen someone do acid in their eyes and he was having a conversation with spongebob squarepants locked in the bathroom and didn't come out for like 5 hours because he thought him and spongebob was getting married.

i'm cool.

word.

I heard when you come down off shrooms you get very deppressing. even more than coming down off E.

my mate did shrooms and he saw captain birdseye in the corner of the toilet and he was tellin captain birdseye he was gonna get the ghostbusters on him...

JSummers... if ur doing 3 balls....and not dieing.... you coke is complete SHIT. of good coke..the body can only usually take 1 and half grams......
........ if ur not getting fucked up of a line..ur coke sucks.... coke around here is bomb.

.. real coke... you only need a keybump..and that equal to ur 2 big lines. lol watch that mvoie blow too.... that coke looks good. lol

cocaine the drug is not that crazy of a high except the first time...

its just what people that cant handle it will do to get it that gives it such a bad rap...not everyone knows how to keep it cool with blow...

popping pills is fun too but i like to be up every once and again...

but ive been doing 120 mg morphines with my friend and his girl the last couple days so i feel you there too...

and if you take any normal amount of acid that shit doesnt happen...and eat it like a normal person...that guy sounds like he took six or seven hits...a normal dose is like 2-4....