*~John Doe~* a.k.a "My Father" (The Letter)
 

John Doe's words were spoken,---
at a young age I never knew--
covering lies with empty promises---
which left me emotionless & confused---
had a mommy and a daddy combined, in one person
but when the two were together it resulted in
physical cursing---
I could'nt cope with the thought of being the one tarnished
reluctant to the fact that never was I, open-hearted---
But soon I reached a older age
where I could really understand, that it
took more than a dick and a sperm-filled hand---
empty sacks of paraphenalia removed times from
sudden beatings, why did your anguish strict rage result in my soul bleeding----

Apologizing constantly I flinched
with distant hugs---
just prayed that you wouldn't kill me
all I wanted was your love----
I cried when you slammed the door saying don't come
back, could'nt even look
me in my eyes without a panic attack---
all I wanted was a daddy and I begged for you to stay
leaving clues of no interest I discover till this
day---
drowning in my own guilt a battered and bruised soul
no control in my life still looking for
that console----

Toxic tidal waves of stress spawning into my scene
leaving me young and wise in
a state thats only serene---
still there's tomorrow, where fathers and children
glisten, all I wanted was a figure
that's manly and who would listen---
but for you theres no respect, just memories of cheap thrills
conflicting my decision, in a life of assorted pills---
to you I gave my heart, and you gave me a closed
fist, throwing my love away like paper in the deepest
hole of abyss---
you murdered me emotionally and strangled my realest
change, now I'm prone to the pain, sort of numb like novacain---


But see my mind feels naked still not knowing why
it's me your first born pride you
were intrigued to deprive----
a mailbox with no mail with emptiness that
remains a human really without a being
so it's me that you slained----
hmm my first tragedy which I united with death
but for you I refuse to take BaKardii's
last breath----
a constant search for the answers, for
your love I wont recapture, I was just a conquest
with many saying "why her"-----
respectively you've made me stronger
but theres no thank you's in crevices
it can't and wont find my lips my hate has worsened
since----
so this is my letter to you dad I'm fleeting
and still I stand, it takes a boy to be a daddy
and a father to be a man.... I Hate You

just input please....I put alot of thought into this one
just holler.

UPPIN GET ATCHA GURL
HOLLER

^^^^ styll why ya'll sleep so much in here?!??!

Nice imagery..i felt your power of written word...keep on and let your mind do the typing

fashow

free postin sorry ass mother fucker

aiyyo...first of all respect...i felt that poem right there...nice imagery and touching namsayin...i felt the pain and hate in your words...that was just a lovely poem....i read it all the way thru as well...holla

:)
thanx it wasjust some shyt I felt I needed to do,
to be honest wit cha I cried when I first wrote this.....BUT ENUFF OF THE SOFT SHYT.....^^^^^^^^^

UPPIN!!!!!!
i don't know y niggaz slept on that shit. i thought it was hot! the whole piece was hot! i had so many fav part i can't quote them all. so i'ma just tell u the imagery-- HOT, the structure of the poem-- HOT, the shit itself was just --HOT. i can tell the topic was a touchy one, that's why written can b such a relief. where would we b w/o it?

thnx mi'ha
^^^^

uppin

Nice imagery girl.. a touching piece.. your good at though aren't ya lol... OoNnEe

I could be:)
anyway I'm uppin this abot holler at me

yo shit was tight girl your really good
come peeps my shit Beware of the boys.my life in Open Mic

UmMmM.....

Thanx.....uppin

YO, i gotta give you mad props for this piece, im feelin your use of imagery, the feeling in this piece was definetly shown, hot drop, keep uppin

Hey Gyyyrl.
This piece was madd nyce. Really felt the emotion just floatin up off the page as i was reading it. I especially was feelin the last couple'alines:

>"so this is my letter to you dad I'm fleeting
and still I stand, it takes a boy to be a daddy
and a father to be a man.... I Hate You"

Really summed up the message of the whole piece. Very dramatic and powerful. Feelin this. Keep that shit up girl.
Peace n propz.

yo that was some nice rythme i think that you should join my crew and you can be the poetry person

Nicely done...

...really flowed effortlessly at times...emotions just came through strong and true...

...good imagery too, you used that fairly well...well written for sure...

i could give critique...but aint in the mood for it..

...resp...

thanx it's appreciated
^^^^^

I feel this one a lot. I dunno if you read the piece I did on my dad, but this was nice. I felt the emotion when I read it. You can read the time you spent on it.


Stay Up

<Apologizing constantly I flinched
with distant hugs---
just prayed that you wouldn't kill me
all I wanted was your love----> BEST LINES!
this was deep...keep it up..1!

*~Blushing~*
aww thanx ya'll....

do you want to join?

no thnx.... I'm already in a crew for the moment...thanx anyway tho it's much appreciated.

i was feeling it i went through da same shit ,but i managed to get older an kick his ass,(father)butas u get older if u still hang on to da shit u went thru it could keep fucking wit u mentaly learn to let go an forgive an u will see just how far ya talent will take u peace.
p.s. usually im not dis nice but i was feeling ya poem

thanx...i guess i should feel....privilaged?!?!
anyway thanx for all the replies
:)