True Love ! ! !
 

This Is A Litte Freestyle About Sumthin That Happened Recently!
These are my true feelings that i just had to get out!


My night was started with a dramatic phone call to my girl//
I Broke up with her over something that crushed my world//
But a knock on the hotel door was about to change my life//
I opened it and my breath was gone like being stabbed by a knife//
there stood a girl and i knew straight away i wanted her as my wife//
Things started slow and my boy tried it on with this hunny//
But he got the blow, he said the wrong thing which was quite funny//
you couldn't change her body with any amount of money//
Now take the time to listen as i explain fully//
Her eyes sparkled like they had diamonds inside//
My knees where about to crumble like a land slide//
I couldn't say a word i was still in too much shock//
It was like someone had frozen my thoughts by hitting me with a rock//
I can't stop thinking of her, more and more i get locked//
But i still can't speak to her she looks so good//
my heart pumped so fast it sent bubbles in my blood//
for the first time in my life i'm truely in love//
But after some drinks my courage was up and i spoke//
i struggled to get out my words i thought i'd choke//
if she turned her back on me my heart would be broke//
The night passed on and we ended up on the beach//
we kissed and life was so out of reach//
I wanted to stay stuck to her like a leach//
every time she touched me i burned up like being soaked in bleach//
the waves where crashing on the rocks and i had to check//
coz my blood was on fire from her kissing on my neck//
there was nothin more Beautiful than the feel of her breath//
the beach is empty now and everyone has left//
i'm supprised that she never noticed the pounding from my chest//
these nights went on for an entire week//
this is scrary coz she knocked me off my feet//
i've never felt like this before and never want it to end//
i couldn't put up with her just being as friend//
i'd be well fucked up it would drive me round the bend//
it feels like i have the world in my hands//
it feels better than being mobbed by my fans//
i'm never gonna stop loving her i'll do what i can//
now that i've found her i am a complete man//
theres no way i could treat her as a one-night-stand//
she means to much to me to let go of her hand//
now that i'm back from my holiday we've met up//
she's so amazing i could never give her up//
i'll phone her at night just to say wats up//
not one chance in this world will she slip away//
i'd marry her now so she is here to stay//
and i love her more and more each day//


FOR JACQUI

^^^ thats deep dawg......*wipes tears* send that ish to her yo.

yeah that was a tight freestyle, the fact that it's true adds to it's attraction!

overall 8/10

Thanx for the feed back yo'

Uppin more!

Good lil' piece here yo.. what made it so worthy was that it
was all true.. Real ish! Good little way to release your NRG.
Hard Piece...
Yo dogg when you get a chance check out my piece Spidey Vs Wolverine!!!

~~Ghost

Thanx Dawd I'll Have A Look Now ...

Keep The Shit Comin Peeps ! ! !

simple vocab and shit.. deep emotions in it though.. I was feelin' the flow fo-sure.. "But after some drinks my courage was up and i spoke//
i struggled to get out my words i thought i'd choke//
if she turned her back on me my heart would be broke//
The night passed on and we ended up on the beach//
we kissed and life was so out of reach//"... I liked it.. good imagery.. 1.. peep my shit.. "running through Life..

thanx dawg nice feed back ....


Remember this aint a battle verse its a sort of poem thingie ...

That was pretty tight, i like this line cause everyones got that one girl that means something to them......


"i'm never gonna stop loving her i'll do what i can
now that i've found her i am a complete man
theres no way i could treat her as a one-night-stand"

Yeh Dawg Thanx ...

But this girl dont just mean something to me she means everything to me ... I even gave up my Job to be with her and sold my Moterbike. Crazy Shit i know but she's worth it ...

Uppin Feedback

Uppin Some more feedback peeps!!!

Now take the time to listen as i explain fully//
Her eyes sparkled like they had diamonds inside//
My knees where about to crumble like a land slide//
I couldn't say a word i was still in too much shock//
It was like someone had frozen my thoughts by hitting me with a rock//

Definitely a heart felt piece...I should do this for my girl lol. Good drop

Deep shit dawg,,,,,,,,This was tight....keep spittin

Thanx People ...

uppin More feed back ...

...:::1:::...

DAMNNNNNNNNNN QUIL SHIT IS EMOTIONAL DAWG SICKNESS IN THE FLOW.....am FEELIN IT FOSHO

Thanx Dawg

Uppin !

Tight it was deep and had good flow which i really like in an open mic, feelin it really enjoyable and the fact that its true is good
Thanx man you jus' brightened up ma day..

-one love-

^ ^ ^ Deep Shit Dawg Thanx ..

Uppin

Uppin some feed back people

haha dis shit i can relate to, this is so true like u read my own thoughts is this like your owb experience from the heart? flow n everythin was tight. give this a 9/10 dogg.

Yeh It Is An Experience than Hasn't Ended Yet An I Hope It Never Does!!

Uppin people ! ! !

Uppin this!!!!

Shiznit's Thoughts:

Its funny how love just spins you around and do all those crazy stuff huh? like you would do everything for love...i always thought that love doesnt exist...its just like a mere reflection of what we just WANT...but for some reason someone made me feel that its way way better than that...but thats not the point..i mean all im sayin is love is really powerful...

*ahem* alright bout the piece...

VOCABULARY

>well written ....interesting use of words....i mean the littlest word that you put in this meant sooo much that it melts my heart...good job!

FLOW

>it fits perfectly ...i liked reading it...i actually read it a couple of times and it quite good to read...

CONTENT

>wow!...i feel the love...im really in that state right now...love themes are usually the good thoughts on how to make a piece like this...nice

these lines reminded me of someone special..'my life' and when i read this...i was like...damn!

"i'm never gonna stop loving her i'll do what i can
now that i've found her i am a complete man"

^^endless, forever, infinity...nice!


"i'd marry her now so she is here to stay
and i love her more and more each day"

^^^now thats The Ending....i loved it

OVER ALL

>amazing!....very nice...deep ish! drop more!

^^^ Good feedback ...
thanx

uppin this!!!

yo quik man wot i feel readin this is like what i feel when i hear eminem rap about his daughter, so much love and absolutely serious, good shit dawg

Thanx man ... uppin this!!!

this was tight i like this
had emotion and true
feeling put into it keep spittin
shit likes this......

PE@ZE