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Here comes tha critic shit again...
Look, Im not here to impress whack mc's Im
only hear to rip till ya fall to ya knees// Try goin against sum1 like 2 pac and get off my cock Unless u want my glock to have u bitches on lock// I'll make most of u bitches turn Ashanti and sing or just rip ur ass up like it aint no thing// U say that tha shit i wrote suck but i used that "whack shit" to make ur bitch wanna fuck// I may not be a veteran but I'll tell ur ass off, beat ur ass so fuckin bad it'll make yo lights turn off// I bring the extreme like the "House of Pain" but pack a "Desert Storm" wit me like Im "Paul Cain"// I make niggaz wanna stay "Focus" cause I come and attack brutally like da "White Locust"// But wit this shit Ima rip ya ass until they say "Finish Him" And I aint even here to entertain none of em// So holla at a real nigga dats lookin for drugs dats gangsta to fill any of ya niggaz wit slugs// Niggaz look at me like Im dat nigga "D-Mob" and say that Ima "Bad Boy" like "Black Rob"// IF u wanna sick ass psychopathic schizophrenic motherfucker, then stop bein a titty sucker// And hire this fuckin free agent that'll rip a nigga and make him enter a beauty pageant// Aight Bash and Skiddz get on this shit... I know u will... If u didnt know, if i wanted to write serious, i would but im not takin this too seriously cause its not worth it unless i was gettin paid... plus the more u get on me, tha more u influence me so keep whachu gotta say comin |
Cmon ppl... just tell me how much i gotta improve and elevate... im waitin for it...
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it's was good to me , but what the hell do i know, keep it up
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thanx man ay keep ya practice up like i was all day and u'll be better than me lol
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I need sum critics over here. Still waitin for em.
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hey baby! i thought it was off the hook! i loved it man! keep it up fa sho!
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Thanx sexy... we gonna hook up lata and I'll spit sum more game... :-D... but till then more critics
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Still waitin for more critics
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yo my refered man.. haha, it was tight fo newbie to this shit... ya still could elevate some
try usin some tight vocab n shit... try relatin to shit |
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thanx, my nigga. U always dere for me and shit helpin me out. Thanx for dat 2. Still waitin for more. Waitin for Bash and Skiddz to say sum shit
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lmao......that was seriously wack.......boy where ur skillz at........did that even have any topic to it..........flow was off.......vocab was weak...........concept was wack.......it was just basically u sayin "dont fuck with me cuse i am gangsta"........u need major elevation
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Cmon quit hatin nigga. lol its cool though. Still lookin for critics
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exactly... |
thanx. See thrillz, I could careless whachu say cause u a hata. I shake dem niggaz off and let them beat they dick while sayin shit on a screen but not to my face. So as long as tha hataz stay doin dat shit, I'll be cool. Just dont come around me doin dat shit or u catchin a fast one.
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This piece was straight, u need to raise ur vocab, complex ur style and work on ur punchez, i see some potential, if u work at it you'll get betta, and u really need to loose that "gangsta" attitude....its aight to use it sometimes, but not 2 much, by the way hit my piece wit a rating out of 10...1
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I give ur piece a 6 outta 10. It was complexed and shit y'know. So keep ya game up and thanx for tha advice. I guess more anger management needed...
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vocab was weak, if u plan on doing more text up i a bit more, wordplay was aight but lacked complexity rhymes were sumtime weak sumtimes average, subject amtter needs more originality, i aint hating tho
jus try n elevate dawg, keep writing and your time ll come Eborted verdict-E |
hey good shyt, but u could use some more wordplay... h ell we all coud use better wordplay but its still pretty good for a newbie
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thanx... i still havent been to sleep... i pulled an all nighter... i'll talk to 'all later...
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