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My inspiration
Bash: Deep piece right here , Comming straight from da heart , Nice too have u in da Family . Yeah , Talk to dem cats about ur Inspiration
intro my inspiration is my gift and my curse.....Why you ask??? because its things like hate sadness and depression And to be honest i cant get enough of it, My inspirationjust a curse keeps forcin me to do things abnormal, When normal people look at my drops they think i am not normal, Notebook is my only unforeign land, escape the mind of the bland, It helps me escape the past and present yet constanly reminds me, things i hope to escape and things in the past i have put behind me, The rain is my prefered weather,my words on this pad forsaken, Because it seems every wrong choice there is to take i have taken Only 14 butWords are my heaven every thing else it seems to be hell, When i aint writing watchin the insane world through my cell,(room) chorus(x3) when i am not writing, i am just another person that belongs to there Skedual My lifes like a foreign mans writing in a nation not there own, un legiable,My inspiration is my gift and my curse,Life for me just isnt the same when i aint writin a verse, I beginTo realise its everything normal that only i despise, Tryin to stop it or at least begin to come to a compromise, My compromise fails my works simply grow way to deep, The words seep seem to be sad enough for me to weep, Thoughts clouded with adjectives words that seem to ryme, Until its all written down, it doesnt matter about time, Its like i am mentally crazed, literature addicted dazed, My writings so complicated yet so simple,Mathmatical, chorus(x3) when i am not writing, i am just another person that belongs to there Skedual My lifes like a foreign mans writing in a nation not there own, un legiable,My inspiration is my gift and my curse,Life for me just isnt the same when i aint writin a verse, Outro Word length iregular, but it doesnt really matter, because as long as i am writing i am happy, I been wantin to drop sumthin on rb for a while well here you go it aint that good but |
Rhyming/Flow
I Thought The Flow Was pretty Weak, It Was Choppy In Alot Of Places, BUt here Were A few Bars Where It Flowed Smoothly!...6/10 Vocab/Wordplay No Doubt Here About Your Vocab Abilities, Brutal. You Had good Wordplay Too, "Tryin to stop it or at least begin to come to a compromise, My compromise fails my works simply grow way to deep,"....8/10 Concept/Topic Yea, You Stuck With The Topic Throught, "Inspiration" - Good Topic...8/10 Overall 7/10, It wasMad Dope, But the Flow Could Have Been Better, Also This Piece Could Have Been Made LOnger..but...Keep It Up! |
Upping this Piece for my Fam
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YO I THINK IT WAS A KOOL DROP/ YO DAWG CHECK OUT MY DROP ABOVE URS HOMIE
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^^^^no that wasnt a reply at all......anyway i kinda hated this drop anyway ....for some rason took me a while to write and they usually just flowwwwwwwwwwwwwww.anyway thanks for the feedback
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uppin this only one reply
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uppin this
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well The flow definately wasn't at best with this piece. You had lots of powerful lines in it and it was really deep and shit but i think the flow kind of messed it up a little bit. I think it gets an 8/10 because my only problem with this was the flow
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yeah thnks for advice
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Good shit kidd. It could have been longer , I was feelin da vocab. It could have flowwed better. Word play was tight and shit. Overall I say an 8/10
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thanks
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nice piece but the flow waz a bit weak sumtimes...
wordplay: 7/10 flow: 5/10 rhyming: 7/10 enjoyment: 6/10 overall: 6,25/10 (put slashes the next time aight, keep spittin,good shit) |
oh yeah, check out mine and post a reply:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=66085 |
I agree with the census on this one... good vocab... good concept... flow messed it up a bit... but a nice drop reguardless.
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uppin this if its okay with sand
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Treach P.. NICCA!!!
This Sucked... j/p... Uppin For Treach ;) |
uppinn this again if it s okay with sand
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uppin this 6 month old peice
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i was feeling this one more than the other.. like i said keep up the good work..dont give up, great peice
Thank You peace |
Dammit i keep forgeting to post the rating on peices..
8 out of 10 . Good Luck!! :) |
thanks^^this is an old peice but i thoguht i just up it for sake of posts
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wOOt wOOt!
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