[Wild Card] Phrantik vs. [1] Sureal
 

Congratulations you Son's of Bitches for going where I couldn't :( These are the mufuckin Semi-Finals, winner goes on and competes for the Red, White, and RapBattles Championship. So here it is

Check in's Due Thursday
Verses Due Saturday
Voting End's Monday

You're topic is...
Owning Up

now to back up everything ive said on aim.
i will beat you.

now to back up everything ive said on aim.
i will beat you.

I'm in, No Shit Talk Needed...

Tik, Respect...

Owning Up..

Opener
Walking Down The Road Of Life..
All The Hardships And The Strife..
Dealing With The Insecurities..
And All Of Lifes Impurities..

Dear Diary
Dear Diary I Must Have Let My Guard Down..
I'm Dumbstruck, In Love My Heart Is Drown..
Since The Break, I Haven't Been Searching..
Barely Been Breathing, Always Lurching..
If The Word Radiance was A Human Being..
She'd Be The Only One, I'd Be Seeing..

Diary, oh Diary
Extreme Beauty Of A Delicate Sort..
She Has Changed, Actions Are Tort..
Radiance Smashed, Beauty Dismal..
Now Deteriorated, Was Once Abysmal..
Still Have Love, Thus Not In Pity..
She Moved Away, To A Different City..

Fate
To Confess My Love, Travelled Abroad..
Came To Her House, Her Love, A Fraud..
The Door Swung Open, A Man Rushed Out..
Asked Me Who I Was, I Stood Stout..
Then From Behind Him, I Saw Her There..
Heart Ached, Fist Clenched, Unaware..

STOP
I Grabbed The Man, Threw Him Down..
She Stood There Shocked, In A Gown..
Put On My Gloves, Grabbed My Gun..
Love Is Blind, But Never Outdone..
Broke Into Tears, Asked Her Why..
"Get Away, To You, I Said Goodbye"..

Goodbye
Right There The Ache UnBearable..
Nothing Doing, Heart UnRepairable..
Boyfriend Came In, Grabbed The Gun..
Tried To Shoot, The Unloaded One..
Grabbed My Knife, Peirced His Skin..
Sliced His Throat, Chest To Chin..

No
She Stared At Me, State Of Shock..
I Grabbed The Gun, Turned The Lock..
"Just Me And You, Now Tell Me Why.."
Just Stood Silent, Gave No Reply..
Pointed The Gun, "One Last Chance.."
Pulled The Trigger, No Romance..

Finale
Police Were Called, Was Arrested..
When Asked Why, Lawyer Requested..
Thrown Into Jail, Finally Cracked..
Told Them The Story, Every Fact..
For Double Murder, Be Put To Death..
Would Be Injected, No More Breath..

Any Questions
When Asked If He Had Any Last Words To Recite..
"If She Would Have Owned Up, All Would Be Alright"..





Outro..
*The Man In The Story Was Successfully Put To Death By Lethal Injection
The Police Later Searched His Apartment To Find Pictures Of The Woman
Covering His Walls, Some Of Her Belongings, And Much More, For The Man
And The Woman Had Never Been In Love With Eachother, Just Him With Her
She Did Not Know His Name, ..He Had Been Stalking Her For Over Three Years

If You Do Not Understand Any Vocab, Please Look The Words Up

Thank You - Sureal..

The Last Words Of A Dieing Cancer Victim. .

As my time draws to a close,
im dreading the caskets close, and yet
Hopefully. . In The Afterlife,
i can look Back at Life with no regrets.

Till death do us part. .
sure, i'll miss you. its all part of life's game
But dont shed a tear. .
if it was meant to be, then we'll meet again
And every single day. .
i'll be thinking about you, inside my head
I'll be watching you. .
from the clouds, watching your every step.
This isnt goodbye. .
just remember that "true love never dies. ."
So were not finished. .
just scheduled to be at another place & time.
I'll really miss you. .
never realised before, i took you for granted
But now i feel. .
a bond like ours cant be defined by marriage.
All good things. .
come to an end, but hopefully you'll continue
Raise our children. .
and show them how much i loved them too.
If there was any. .
other option, you know id of chose to lead it
Just believe me. .
its for the best, everything happens for a reason.
Dont hate at all. .
this cancer seed may hold the answers i need
Its made me see. .
how much you and my family actually mean to me.
This may be. .
my final breath, my hearts slowing, if ur still here
Then listen close.. .
i'll own up now, ive never really expressed how i feel...


I love you.

holy fuckin shit...that was some of the tightest shit I have ever read....Here is the break down...

Phranktik....
I'll be watching you. .
from the clouds, watching your every step.
This isnt goodbye. .
just remember that "true love never dies. ."
So were not finished. .
just scheduled to be at another place & time.
I'll really miss you. .

That was some tight fuckin shit man...it got me....been in a spot where I had friend die of menijitis...so I kinda grip ya....Phat verse through and through. It was less aggressive compared to Sureal....

Sureal...
Walking Down The Road Of Life..
All The Hardships And The Strife..
Dealing With The Insecurities..
And All Of Lifes Impurities..

Absolute phat opener...kept me interested into reading the whole thing...Phrantik...that just didn't go for me

This was the clincher...
Right There The Ache UnBearable..
Nothing Doing, Heart UnRepairable..
Boyfriend Came In, Grabbed The Gun..
Tried To Shoot, The Unloaded One..
Grabbed My Knife, Peirced His Skin..
Sliced His Throat, Chest To Chin..

The imagery when I read it was fuckin money..that's what it's about...That is the verse that decided it....

Vote: Sureal

This is a money battle....legend? possibly...

THIS GOES TO PHRANTIK....
SO BOTH OF YOU UNDERSTAND WHY.I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER IN MY LARENEX 3 YRS AGO.I RECALL FEELING LIKE EVERYDAY WAS MY LAST.PHRANTIK EVEOLVED VERY MUCH TO THE DAY TO DAY THOUGHTS RELATIVE TO OUR REAL LIFE.THOUGH I BELIEVE SUREAL HAD THE BETTER IDEA.HE DID NOT GRASP THE TRUE HEART OF THE MATTER ONLY THE EMOTIONS OF AN OUTSIDER OR CLOSE FRIEND.PHRANTIL TACKLED A 1ST PERSON PERSPECTIVE.
IN MY OPINION BOTH OF YOU DID WHAT MANY CANT BUT THERE HAS TO BE A WINNER AND LOSER PHRANTIK GOT THIS.....

my god... this was....wow. from both sides. just amazing. both of you showed me why you got this far...

Sureal- Loved the story, stayed on topic, nice flow, excellent use of vocab .....overall i think its one fo the best that you have done..

Phrantik-i also loved your story..it was emotional and heart-felt.. where you lacked in flow and structure the story made up for in how deep and emotional it was...

my eyes actually started to water when i read Phrantiks verse...
Sureal if you wouldve gone against anybody else i think that you wouldve got it..i actually came into this thinkin that you were gonna wipe the floor with him...but damn...this was close but i have to give it to Phrantik

vote=tik


both of you are mods...please hit this up..

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=68263

This Was A Post Bitching About Stuff...
So I Edited It, As Not To Be A Bad Sport..

May The Best Verse Win...

this was really close, i thought both were great, but heres the lay-out, i aint gonna get into a big explanation so ill amek it short and to the point

imagery-sureal
vocab-sureal
style-tik
creativity-tik
flo-sureal
overall....sureal

ok, both verses were great, they both stayed on topic but tik lacked flo, although his piece lacked flo, it came with great emotion and was a great piece, sureal had it all as always, the vocab the flo the imagery everything, so im gonna have to give it to sureal, both were very well done and i wish you both luck in the phuture but this time sureal took it

vote-sureal

ok props to both this is what it should b about.......

very good approach to the topic from both even though it was different with each.......

Sureal..good everything.cant complain here can crtique it either,,,u told the story it came across and with that u added flow vocab and imagery...

TiK...the same as above but i did have one complain wich is what made me choose the vote.....i couldnt flow well with your piece i beleive your story was a little stronger than surelas but it was just very hard to follow...

so to that my vote goes to...

vote=SuReaL

Sureal.... I cought on to that shit right away with the not knowin dudes name an shit,
The entire story was dope, a little gayish with the diary thing, but still came nice with tha
flow scheme and the picture painting an shit...
Phrantik.... I liked yours too, kinda sappy, come to think of it you both came sappy...awww...
but anyways cancer victim with tha last words and a confession of love, and hope for the
afterlife....But your rhyme scheme killed you in this one, jus didnt seem to work out as well
Vote-Sureal

Before i go into anything... major props to both...

Sureal:
Great shit, as usual from you... Some times i lost interest in it, but then i got caught right back into it

Favorite Lines:
This was the clincher...
Right There The Ache UnBearable..
Nothing Doing, Heart UnRepairable..
Boyfriend Came In, Grabbed The Gun..
Tried To Shoot, The Unloaded One..
Grabbed My Knife, Peirced His Skin..
Sliced His Throat, Chest To Chin..

~Imagery was amazingly appealing here.. felt every word

OveralL - Stayed on Topic.. flowed well, and was felt to tha fullest

Phrantik:
Wow.. amazing shit bro... Taken to tha heart bro .. Flow was a lil off but tha story made up for it

Favorite Lines:

this cancer seed may hold the answers i need
Its made me see. .
how much you and my family actually mean to me.
This may be. .
my final breath, my hearts slowing, if ur still here
Then listen close.. .
i'll own up now, ive never really expressed how i feel...

wow.. speechless man.. makes you think, wonder, feel depressed, and hopeful all at tha same time.. great piece

OveralL - Flow was a lil off.. The topic was great, you stayed on it to the last line.. you put all tha emotion into what topic are suppose to be

Vote - Tik

Pretty Decent Battle.....Nuthin Legendary......Let Me Break It
Down......Tik.......Nice Concept....I Was Feelin Where U Was
Coming From Wit That.....U Had SOme Pretty Nice Vocab In THere
Also....But...In No Way Did It Rhyme.....SOme Parts Did And A Lot
More Didn't....But Good Job Regardless.....Sureal....Also Nice
Concept.....Good Verbal Usage And Choice Of Words....Next Time
Though, Don't Make IT Like A Poem....Make It Like A Rhyme...But
It Was Still Nice......BottomLine....I'm Gonna Have To Go Wit
Sureal For The Fact That I Was Feeling His Grasp Of The Topic A
Bit Better...And Even Though It Was In Poem Form.....I Still
Followed His Rhyme.........Vote=Sureal

dis battle wasnt all that..both verses were average...dis is a hard one to vote on

sureal verse wuz just a lil too plain, phrantik verse kinda plain too.. but if i had to...i have to go with phrantik, cuz of his touching lines........

vote: phrantik

Tik, your verse was powerful - it had emotions in it
it made me quite sad, content wise you may have edged
this battle.

Sureal, nice story - not as awe inspiring as Tik's but close.
flow was -average- i don't like the way you word things
but it was nice.

when i break it down...

Tik

Content 5/5
Flow 1/5*
Vocab 3/5
Imagery 4/5

Sureal

Content 4/5
Flow 4/5
Vocab 3.5
Imagery 4/5

Tik 13
Sureal 15


very nice battle. i was a little suprised.
but, Sureal takes this for one main
reason.

* Tik, your flow wasn't apparant at all
i know artists like sole don't rhyme ;)
but...i couldn't find any rythm while
reading this, regardless of if it rhymes.


V. Sureal

Sureal- I think you had pretty good rhymes and you had a good flow going on.

Phrantic- I would have liked to see more rhymes in there. I felt what you had goin a lot more

If this was based on flow or style Sureal would own....

But its not....

I felt tik and he gets my vote

6-5 for sureal.
but, not being a bitch,
i think 13th is hate voting.
even if he says he isnt
he probably is. the kid has never voted for me ever.
even if i did pull of a ko victory there as always one vote against..
13ths.

Dawg, I Could Also Bitch About Your Last Two Votes..

Both Explained Like Shit, And Katz I Never Heard Of...

But W/e... 6-5. . . Uppin

Why must you guys do this to me, such great topicals. Tik, not like this matters, I liked your rhyme scheme, it was a little hard to find, but when I found it, it opened it up so much better. You kept where you were going with the story (as usual) in the dark until the very end. And I felt truly cheated out of an ending. I knew it was symbolic and all, and I am the definition of a romantic. Sureal, your ending was great, some parts were out of order, but I felt that you had the better Topical

Vote=Sureal

7-5