Terror.. (Septembr 11th Tribute)
 

Is Terror Just Another Word, Found In A Book..
Leaving Shook, A Thought Or Maybe a Look?..
When The Two Towers Fell So Did My Heart..
Undying Starts, All From Families Ripped Apart..
Husbands and Wives Lost, Children Left Chained..
Nothing Gained, Insecure Instances Bring On Pain..
No Reasoning Behind Them, Never Turn Your Back..
Leaving Minds Packed, All From Emotions Lacked..
Children Left Weary, Families Torn And Dreary..
Leaving Friends Varied, Fear Thee, Or Queried..
To All Of The Victims And Families, Draw Near..
Look Into The Mirror, In The Past, In My Prayers..

-Sir Eel

hmm.... lets see

good flow, good vocab, nice imagery...over all good drop

Heartfelt dogg, feels as though it really meant something to you, like it should. Props...

yeah nigga nice flow i agree wit j dub it sounds like you wrote from the heart. BIG UPS

very nice sureal....was very deep man....was definately feeling it dawg.....

wow dude, nice drop!

window licker.. youre good.

Get Some More Explained Replies Please..Up!

Hey this was a good piece. Almost as if it were poetry. Deep shit here. 9/11 word I might write some shit with a spin on it called 9/12.

Pretty cool. Emotion was heartfelt. Flow was dope. Yadda yadda yadda. Nothing really more to say. You know the dealio.

sureal dope as usual.....expressed yourself good on this one.
words mean a ton...and im sure many people would b touched with a verse like that man.........2 years since and it shows its still fresh in hearts..props man....

Is Terror Just Another Word, Found In A Book..
Leaving Shook, A Thought Or Maybe a Look?..
^Nice, especially the "terror" line... that's a common word in this time and day.

When The Two Towers Fell So Did My Heart..
Undying Starts, All From Families Ripped Apart..
^The first line again was good, i felt it, think ya should've changed "two" to "twin" though... i dunno, just my 2 cents.

Husbands and Wives Lost, Children Left Chained..
Nothing Gained, Insecure Instances Bring On Pain..
^Again, like the first line, deep, makes sense and it's so true.

No Reasoning Behind Them, Never Turn Your Back..
Leaving Minds Packed, All From Emotions Lacked..
^Both lines good, hate is the reason behim them... very deep again.

Children Left Weary, Families Torn And Dreary..
Leaving Friends Varied, Fear The, Or Queried..
^Nice first line again... i didn't understand your second line though, and yes i know what a query is.

To All Of The Victims And Families, Draw Near..
Look Into The Mirror, In The Past, In My Prayers..
^Both lines nice, all around, very deep again, coming from your heart.

All in all, nice drop, very heartfelt and deep... how i broke it down... you had nice set up lines... but i wasn't feelin the second lines...

Overall=8/10

Good Piece Sir.

You share the same feeling towards that day as most, so this is touching.

Truth of the matter is, it was not anyone's best day...(or shouldn't have been)

Yeah man, what more is there to say? Fitting topic/concept for the time, and really good vocab and flow. I like this drop and you did a good job of capturing that post attack "oh shit" feeling. Good drop.

If you get the time, hit up this battle: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=77400

nice little spit man, although leaving it nice and short like that, makes it seem more like a poem... but thas cool... it had flow yeah, and a pretty clear message...

-1-

Flow was ok, nothing special as i read it, it had basic internals but by now - you should be stepping it up my man. . add some multi's into your pieces, your rhyming is too basic one-syllable rhyming, emotion was its strongest factor, thats where you shone. Im not hating - i just feel i need to tell you where to strengthen up, you need more multi's and internal-multi's to become dope, right now its only your emotion and imagery thats setting you above average.

= )

^Tickle My Sloth..

But Yea Thanks For Some Real Feedback Cam.

illness, droped well,short,good wordplay,vivid imagery,well laid out,over all ill spit,keep spittin.peace god.~1~

Up!

this was good...............
nice flow, imagry and vocab.......i liked the topic.......and i'd say hot shit, wish it could be longer tho......
check this opne mic out
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=79405

i was definitely feelin that, vocab was good, wordplay was nice, and topic was superb it fitted the time, and overall that shit kicked ass.