IC: Bribeone1 .vs. Camarac
 

Damn It Man......



In..:)

Gotcha.

Ok, this topic struck me as deep for this piece, so consider this verse more poetic than anything else. If you dont get the inner meaning or emotion in it, please, dont vote because its a lot deeper than you'll see on face value. .


Seperate your Rights from Wrongs, Bite the Tongue in Word of Mouth
so Perfect Now, my heart Beats at my ear Drum till ive Heard the Sound.
Satan Lured me down, his rechid cesspit consists of Starship battalions
and semi-warped thought, now Kicking Up Dust like Charging Stallions.
Our Partial Balance of Talent's now Lost and Gallants our Thoughts Be,
Knocked Out of Check, human Domino Effect played At G-Force speed.
The course we Choose to Follow, anchored hope filled Bow and Arrow,
that Relenquishes in the Sentences many kids follow, borrowed Sorrow.
Hollow lead filled Giant, Pencil goliath, shattered oppourtunists window
Spoken downward cycle, etching in vinyl, sketched a pupuluses widow.
we Played second fiddle to the masses of all these second wind fashists
time to Find our Guiding Light against the Flash In The Pan of Average.
Wing span covered in Ashes, Burnt spoken word of the Imperial Lireal
Hysterial material emitted and transmitted throughout Societys Delireal.
if i could just buy me a miracle. A sliver tongued serpent w/ the answers
spoke in thirty stanzas, dirty dancing at death's door, the cure to Cancer.
Just short of Mazda, the blueprint heaven, ruined kingdom shelved now,
Drowned titanic Wave, Magics everywhere these Days, just Spell it out.
Belt around mother natures Face, & so Gracefull the Halo'd serenity sets
see the Sunlight form the glow in her Cheeks, retrace ur steps, better yet
this Letter Quest became a Fettered Test of my Patience im amazed with,
such Blantant Hatred exacuted, im Hated, an Extra to this Essential fluid
Potential's Fluent in life's MainStream, hit Brain Freze by Sentinal Druids.
Its Incoherrent Stupidity only the Foolish can Make Sense, Fake Friends
Make Amends of Mistaked Defense. . and Stand Victorious at Wits End.

all i have to say is ...WOW... amazing piece kid..

24-7


I loved my life of lavish legos and hot wheels..
until i heard his name I couldnt let go, I got chills..
the whole time i dint get it, it just doesnt feel right..
yeah we could play around, but it doesnt involve to feel... right?..
maybe im not too bright, or like others say my lights Dim..
he wanted my lid tight, but pressure broke the seal from within..
i had to speak up, build some strength and get courage..
I know its a lie, that he said it happens to all kids my age..
he poked fun at me, slapped me around and called me names..
yeah he would also touch me places..and I know it wasnt games..
no more of those dreams, here I am spilling my beans..
I know its tough for u to beleive, things arent what they seemed..
from birth i was challenged, and him?..well he was here for guidence..
Ill write this out for u.. because god blessed me forever in silence..
I hope u can help me, itll sure ensure u a pass into heaven..
not bad writing when im 24 and think like Im SeveN..

Good Luck Bro. .

Ight I'll Be The First To Lay It Down..

Cam..

Son.. That Shit Was, To Put It Simply.. Amazing..
I Loved That Shit Thru N' Thru.. Honestly. The Whole
Thing Was Thourough.. On Topic.. And Felt Fully

Opener - Above Average
Use Of Vocab - Excellent
Flow - Above Average
Metaphores - Average
Topic - Excellent
Creativity - Excellent
Depth - Excellent
Finisher - Excellent

Overall - Excellent

Bribe

I Liked This Piece.. You Were Consisent
Throughout The Topic For The Most Part.. On Key
With What You Had To Say, and It Had Decent Flow.
Was Really Feeling Your Finishing Line Her Too
Could Have Worked On The Depth A Little More..
But None The Less.. Good Piece Here..

Opener - Average
Use Of Vocab - Average
Flow - Above Average
Metaphores - Average
Topic - Average
Creativity - Above Average
Depth - Average
Finisher - Excellent

Overall - Average

cam came deep with this, and as he warned
id appreciate it if you didnt vote if you dont understand.
both drops from each, nothing out-standing from bribe,
but its definately not wack. on the other hand, i can see
cam's verse going to legends. so, congrats on a Pre-Season
week one legend piece. dope.
votecam

Vote Cam

That is legend material... an excellent piece of writing... everything about it was dope... the wording, the metaphors, rhyme scheme all around amazing drop

Bribe not taking anything from you, but you would to have dropped the piece of you lifetime to beat Cam.... yours was average... it was a pretty deep piece & it would have beaten some other people... just not this piece from Cam... just being honest

Peace

(damn... think i wrote piece enough.. lol)

Piece

this was a tight battle both of you dropped some very good verses...

Cam...Holy shit..that was fuckin ill...pretty much flawless verse...good job..

Bribe...you were in deep man....Cam was just too much on this one..

VOTE: Cam

Cam

You told me over aim that you went deep into this topic and braught out some emotions.. You really did, everything in your verse was perfect.. Once again a Cam legend..

Bribe
Your idea wasnt bad, it just couldnt compare to what cam had instore for this topical event, You just got the short straw and stuck with the best Topical Writer on the site..

Vote: Cam

^ Sureal Got Voted Better Than Me, So Ehhh. .
Technically Im Not The Best, Im Decent Though.

Nice Battle Bribe, Now Someone Go Nominate My Verse For Legends. = )

cam ya did have a nice verse but it wasn't tha best.............................................f eedbak required? ok

Seperate your Rights from Wrongs, Bite the Tongue in Word of Mouth
so Perfect Now, my heart Beats at my ear Drum till ive Heard the Sound.
Satan Lured me down, his rechid cesspit consists of Starship battalions
and semi-warped thought, now Kicking Up Dust like Charging Stallions.

hottest lies i liked that......................

but the thing was i liked all of the other guys....................

jus noticed you're the largest poster..........well done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wow Cam, you know for a freepost whore you are quite good at topicals.

Bribe, you did good too, but you would have needed a miracle to beat Cam's verse. If you had to lose against a verse, this is deffinetly not one to be ashamed of.

So...Vote = Camarac

Cam took this...

Good piece by Bribe but Cam came iwith a legend...

Perfect imagery with deep meaning and good flow...

Wow...

hey not bad for like my 5th topical ever...Cam that was fire ked..
much props on that one....see thats how i like voting.... from respected heads giving honest opinions...

damn...this battle was crazy...Bribe came hot as fuck...but Cam...DAMN SON...that was one of the dopest versez I ever heard...Cam came deep as fuck and he was backin' it all up with flow multi'z and structure...seriously...that should be a legend...or we could use Cam'z verse as a lesson to all the newbiez...lol...so...
vote-Camarac

Camarac executed some ownage. You phucker.
Good luck next week.

[closed]