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.:Topical Battle:. KnightShade Vs Fgee
35 lines maximum
10 lines minimum Vet votes only Votes must be explained, dont quote the verse and vote like that.. Topic: Mirrors |
checking in.......
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...:Mirrors:...
Appearing before my eyes, amidst the mist, one portrait of my true perception.
Seeing discreet, now easily, I pass through a portal leading to pure dyslextion. One step, one movement, every flinch taken and mocked in perfect order. Altered legiments inch closer to the supporter, in attempt to disturb this border. Raise a right hand, but this reflection raises what appears to be it's left. Attempt the threat, but through disorder this being outwits me at my best. Flipped image, dasterdly backwards I trip the wire and note malfunction. Tangled within it's altered rhythm, only way out is schism or misassumption. But before my stands my doppelganger, staring me directly, eye to eye. But this vision I witness, the affects or predisorder before you die. Tempted to apprehend an altered entity which refuses to exist within this world. Confusion drowns my tarnished being, I'm seeing a nightmare who's mission's unfurled. Now I stand terrorized by an intollerance for copying anothers originality. Caught in it's talons, for my ocean of self has drown and found emerged a shallow sea. Well now I wallow in anger issues, blissfully rage consumes me from commencement to contend. It may have the upper hand and the advantage but I alone contain the will and the skill to apprehend. ..Conversation With my Reflection.. "Now each and every day I enter this realm between the bipolar universe. One to Negative, one positive, Reviewed the options, pursue the worst. And everything upon my list of choices leads to another random intersection. Best to set aside our differences upon the bedside table, note the unstable correction. Infect my mind scheme with opposites, the thoughts I once recognized no turn around. And suddenly my kindness turns to anger, I'm about to take these raplicas, burn them down..." You replicas enter my household, stand face to face upon the mantle until I'm gone.... Every movement I make replaced, it makes you wonder, what side of the mirror are you on....? |
upping for Fgee, don't no-show. i want to see what you can write on this topic, upupupupupupupupupupupup
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no problem, thought you knew, its all good.
just have fun with it, I'm just doing topical battles to see how other people can write on subjects, based on topics |
a conflict of realms threatened to shatter the screen of stealth
etched glass felt compelled to deliver a reflection of inner self eyes transfixed on a vision of reflective light emissions emblazened by a trademark of brown retinas fixed in skulls prison with scalpel precision the eyes stared back creating a hole of souls reins of control owned by the mirrors ghoulish alter ego grabbed my thraot struggling on choke my face was grasped and held tightly to the glass a distant horizon so close mapped out fragmented images as if itself smashed thoughts elapsed and trapped that youthfull side of me shackling it captive mispent glory days fractured and retold by a master of reinactment… peering into past passages of existence regrets ugly head reared itself a dimension shelved as the mirror painted crystal clarity images of rebels years unsettled then the contrasting tangent showing a glowing man I didn't recognise myself at firsthand then I saw kids and wife in happy expanse She was beautifull I met her in rehab…and the rest was histories secret I tried to enter mirrors deceit glitch but the fake portal grabbed a shard stabbing deepest Hearts red weep is for an untouchable land dancing with a passed future I dedeuced for a moment my haunting past couldn’t be resown with sutures The duped endures painstaking regrets regress into a state of hallucinations Id seen my past..patience parted ways as I gasped for the mirrors creations Despair misplacement …fuck the mirror I cant stand the forbidden fruit I cocked a fist of fingered groups and shattered the framed dreams of roots Tears welled in eyes view & sadness cascaded over the breached dam of dark hues Knuckles of glass….scattered remnants of my dream lay on the floor 7 years bad luck dwarfed my thoughts…Life is empty!!!!!…enraged by remorse if I cant live my dreams course….it''ll live in me….for ever more bending down I grabbed a serated glass knife…last look at pieces of past life and thrust it with a bloody hand into my hearts blind glance an eternal reflection of every day I'd lived beat for minutes then seconds…an unlived, sleepless dream to be kept always guessing…… and the mirror..resumed its place in the frame with a long piece missing may the next person see thru vanities curtain of tortured visions |
fuck off^
sleeping mo fo's please vote please vote vote u cunt! please vote please vote vote!!!!!! |
Look, this is hard to judge. im not really use to judging on topic battles. I dont want to pole vote really cuz...LOL nevermind I cant cuz im at school. Oh well I ll say my opinion... I would say FGEE
I LOVED THAT CLOSER DAWG NICE....especially this line... ~bending down I grabbed a serated glass knife…last look at pieces of past life~ both awesome. LaTeR |
this is a non event then........
bah fucking herbs.......... fuck this shit/........................ |
yes...werd fuckin sleepers.......grrrrr
piss me of......meh I thought Fgee took this, he had the better concept in my eyes and...werd i loved the closer..... Both had good vocab, fgee's wordplay was slightly better Knight, dont get me wrong i thought your verse was good... ...and the concept was nice, overall i enjoyed reading it...thanx In the end, for me it was fgee's finish that got it... Props to both Pz. Vote-Fgee |
thabnks need some more.....
sleeping beeyatches.its been up 2 weeks and only one proper vote? wtf.. |
this must a recod number of ups in athread
one measly vote? fuck its a decent battle.instead of voting for some newb shit vote in here.... |
With all jokes aside... Knight that verse was pretty horrible... well... not nearly your best... and the font makes it gay... Gay GAY..!
F... I'm impressed... slightly... Good job... Av says... "vote: Fgee..." |
finish this off please......
............. been up for near a month now..... thanks for the votes so far |
hmm.. fgee im weeding thru all the battles in EFL and putting them in closed forums if theyre done..this one shoulda been awhile ago. so i deleted your ups.. you may up again for your 5 ups. get this voted on ! and vote on others battles too.. dont be a hypocrite and say people are sleeping i you yourself do it. (not saying you do.) id vote on this, but im very tired and these are long - i'll prolly be back to vote tomorrow.
pz - |
aww damn every time i wanna vote ...... its a crew member LoL
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knightshade: Congrats on a nice piece....
Tempted to apprehend an altered entity which refuses to exist within this world.Confusion drowns my tarnished being, I'm seeing a nightmare who's mission's unfurled. Now I stand terrorized by an intollerance for copying anothers originality. Caught in it's talons, for my ocean of self has drown and found emerged a shallow sea. Some great imagery with the ocean....total realism when it comes to the thought that everyone is trying to be something their not...and eventually figure out that its fake and empty/ worthless... Well now I wallow in anger issues, blissfully rage consumes me from commencement to contend. It may have the upper hand and the advantage but I alone contain the will and the skill to apprehend this man can Acknowledge his flaw regaurdless of the anger and hate for it..he excepts it...... AS for the ending verse..."..Conversation With my Reflection." What a great way to finish the piece..acting as if the other side of the mirror is its own self. Both eagerly attempting to stop one another....I really enjoyed the piece nice work... fgee: Wow mayne beautiful work as well...I could copy and paste this whole piece and write a freakin 3 page critique on it but i wont cause im not thatttttttt cooolio....HERE WE GO!!!!!! eyes transfixed on a vision of reflective light emissions emblazened by a trademark of brown retinas fixed in skulls prison with scalpel precision the eyes stared back creating a hole of souls reins of control owned by the mirrors ghoulish alter ego grabbed my thraot struggling on choke my face was grasped and held tightly to the glass Alright this opening was just pure aggression to the max....And i loved it...The imagery of the face and its features and the way the mirror interacted with "self" was amazing....Captivating like a star...if that makes sense... I cocked a fist of fingered groups and shattered the framed dreams of roots Alright im thinking best line of both pieces was right here...Just complete angry emotion set up soooooooo perfectly i could die....right now seriously...The way that this "self" hates himself and how much just a mirror image reminds him of the pain is great... Knuckles of glass….scattered remnants of my dream lay on the floor 7 years bad luck dwarfed my thoughts…Life is empty!!!!!…enraged by remorse if I cant live my dreams course….it''ll live in me….for ever more bending down I grabbed a serated glass knife…last look at pieces of past life and thrust it with a bloody hand into my hearts blind glance an eternal reflection of every day I'd lived beat for minutes then seconds…an unlived, sleepless dream to be kept always guessing…… Alright...the repressed feelings are actually coming out....He's excepting his faults but cant forgive them....LAST LOOK AT PIECES OF PAST LIFE....beautiful line...and honestly this is the first site of the down slope to the story as far as suicide comes... and ofcourse he ends with the stab in the heart... and the mirror..resumed its place in the frame with a long piece missing may the next person see thru vanities curtain of tortured visions BAM BAM THANK YOU MAM!!!!kicked it hardcore at the end....The mirror is always there..the faults and the bad times will always be remembered in everyones life...and he's kinda saying lets hope that it doesnt go this far (suicide) with anyone else.... great pieces to both.. vote=fgee |
thanks to divinity this thread looks wide....booooooo
fix thAT would yah.............................................. -1- |
really appreciate the break down...
thanks alot only 2 more votes eh....lmao been open for about a month and a half longest battle on RB? |
Vote Fgee
Knight you had a nice piece........some good shit..........but you were inconsistent throughout your verse.......so i think that was your greatest fault. gee.....damn that was sick..........nice piece was really feeling it........you were consistent all the way thru........and thats what helped you win this |
one more freakin vote in here please
.................... .................... snaffle drops thank you please.... |
this has been epic....2month battle or sumshit
please just one vote to kill this off will ya! oompa loompa doompity.... |
fuck this has been epic....2month battle or sumshit
please just one vote to kill this off will ya! oompa loompa doompity....it |
nice verses by both
night....u had a good shit but u werent very consistent fgee....you won this battle wit better consistency...little bit more wordplay...and i loved your ending my vote - fgee can u please hit up both battles in my sig...thanks |
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