Twisted Turns..
 

Stressed minds startin at youth,i guess..,
we all lookin in the same mirror,tellin ourselves its the truth.
Poisened by power,drugs,and money,actin first thinkin late,
eding up with a guilty feelin,and a hopeless kind of state.
Cancer destroyin, eternal darkness embroyin......
We tryin so hard to cure, the things we created,
immagery of self esteem being deflated.
Its so sad we turning in to somthing, made to selfdestruct,
was once pure and beautyfull,turnin in a place to rot.
Technology, every day created,thinkin faster than a human mind,
and the peeps still sayin theres hope,well its sure damn hard to find.
Neclected minds, gods abusers, settin the real believes in vain,
actin like a blinded person, more disastarous than a de-railed train.
Tell me!
Were is this all going?, u got moslims crashing into towers,
and terminators,.... with political powers?...
Wonders me if its the goverment the one on coke,
cuz if u think this considers normal, u seein life as a big joke.
And when we realizin,this aint the way to do it, its proberly to late,
but as we die'in, all togehter, i guess u can consider it as faith.







Quik Key Style^^....
I jus called it Twisted turns cuz it has a lot of aspects in it

FAV...LIINE...

TERMINATOR..POLITICAL POWERS...(CUZ ARNOLD GOV..)

great great

yo had good flow...

i nice slow flow...

good material..

overalll...a good key..

i liked it keep it good

Crazy shit I think that more bored you are the more you elevate your shit man... I enjoy reading all of your open mics...

Not bad...
Pretty good imagery...

But yeah...
The rhyme scheme was off a bit...

But good drop

Kinda but it has some inner rhymes aswell, its kinda audio tho, ..i wrote it on a beat lol^^


thnx for the comments, and keep em comin^

.........Preciate the feedback

Zzzzzz

Pretty decent. .
I like how sometimes you just let your feelings go & your like fuck the rhyme scheme & word everything how you want it worded & not so it fits in a perfect line going down. .

Nice keystyle, keep it up. .

Jup:) thnx, sometimes, jus fuck perfect,...and jus whats on ur mind .....Preciated..

i totally disagree, i think it was an inside goverment job just to be a racist bastard and kill him, and kill thousands of innocent people.

Anyways, pretty hott drop, and its true, about what we have done to our planet, and what we're still doing to is. Nice imagery and good message telling.

w/e ^ lol

Up, thnx for feedback

yop you got hell of talent kid and im feeling this rhyme scheme falls into how you spit it i thin k this was an ill spit though

nice drop here man, fo real, liked it

keep dropping em gems

1

peep ma open mic
The Struggle

Re: Twisted Turns..
 

Amazing, Ayura. . Absolutely amazing. :guy:

The ideas were all over the place, though some were intriguing - unfortunately, I've seen too many threads on this topic. I suggest that rather than using the excuse of a "keystyle," you go the extra mile and round out your pieces. It will force you think a lot more and absolutely spur improvement in every aspect of writing.

I feel like some of your concepts were forced. Stick to one specific idea, and build around it with vocabulary, flow and all other elements of writing. You always have the chance to write, don't think that other topic will go away. Rather than lumping it in a side-tangent, use it later. Sorry, I gott'uh run, my teacher's about to catch me on the 'net. Keep writing, get another piece up tonight . You're growing. :)

Thnx^^

Oh and i always drop keystyles tho

This was on my mind, ...so i wrote, ....and post, ...lol^

Thats y Twisted Turns^

But it was a key, maybe i should key and adjust, ...or somthing, ...think over it a couple a times, ...to make it even better ....


But the feedback is apreciated, i will keep it in mind.....G.Hod

yo this was a great piece!
but try to use sum more multi's...
but it's really dope.
liked ur flow and concept

Sometimes, u dont need, ...it....


but preciate the feedback