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-   -   ITT: My One True Passion (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=84440)

Baron Mynd 10-09-03 02:53 PM

ITT: My One True Passion
 
My One True Passion. .


As a child, Despite my Age, id often Recite through Plays,
and dream about performing Live Behind the Mic on a Stage.
This Fight for Fame, became a mountain struggle id Hold Higher,
as i worked my heart out to gain the leading Roll In The Quoir.
Hoping that Either id be respected, & shown True Peers Love,
or become noticed, & then fulfill what id Always Dreamed Of.
it may not Mean Much to you. . but i cursed out at The Lord
when suddenly my voice broke & there was Singing No More. .

Just an empty silence Inside, followed as years rolled By
and i was only tryna C-Notes by Making Cash in real Life.
Id Concealed Lies from my parents, it was really Thanks To This,
& now their 'little soldier' had grown addicted to Cancer Sticks.
no Plan Was Fixed, it started from curiosity, & Grew Annoying,
cant kick the habit, my Mouth's round More Butts than New Employees.
smokin Roughly 200 a day, doctor noticed a cough had developed,
that required a check up, and possibly Larynx treatments. .

The hospitals diagnosis: a form of tumor inside my throat
that needed instantly removing, caused from cigarette smoke
This isnt a joke i thought silently, worried for my own health
doctors stacked on both sides of me, yet nobody to help.
thou the operation's succesful, the tumor removed and stings
Throat Cancer brought an end to my one true passion,



To sing.

Dirty Sally 10-09-03 03:21 PM

That was sick as hell, Camarac. The wordplay is clever, the structure is solid, the flow is on point and the storyline is excellent. Definitely a good drop. This is one that shouldn't get slept on... :)

Baron Mynd 10-09-03 03:47 PM

ITT = Insane Topical Tourney

this is my piece for round 2

Born To Kill 10-09-03 03:51 PM

Yo, Cam...

I appreciate the feedback ya gave on my "Game" verse...

Thank you.

So...

Are ya trying ta say this is a true story?

Cuz if it is, that's pretty fucked, man.

How old are you? For Cancer ta kick in, and for you to smoke 5 packs a day???

You'd have to be as old as me or even older...

What gives? Was this fiction or non?

Anyway...

The drop was great, Cam.
Very deep, very expressive with your metas.
Nice wordplay that brought tight imagery, but, like I said...
Made me picture an old guy like myself.
So it kinda threw me.

But this is really good, my man...

Really good and sad, depressing as shit to have ta face the realization, basically, that ya fucked yourself and your dream.

Do me a favor, my man...
I dug up the first thing I ever wrote here...
Please tell me what you think.
Thanks...

My first piece here...

Chrit 10-09-03 03:51 PM

Damn.. you never seem to dissapoint Cam..

Nice piece...

Excellent imagery as always....
Good flow, vocab, etc...

Nice all around...

Peep:
Role Models

-Magnitude 10-09-03 04:28 PM

^ Duh, nah but this was dope. .
Everything about it was good, flow & imagery, and everything else. You never dissapoint and this was just another dope peice. . BUT where`s ur even lines hoe.. = )

Good work my man. .

Baron Mynd 10-09-03 04:30 PM

Hahaha, even lines didnt matter to me in this,
it was more a ` i want to show you exactly what happened and how i feel about this` type piece, no fucking around, no frills, just straight to the point i wanted to make.

glad you liked.

Edicius 10-09-03 04:36 PM

I liked this,...the personal aspects, were deep, and it seems like u jus wrote whats on ur mind...and i think that makes it even better than,..with a perfect structure,...and everything , this was real ejoyable...

Props..

Bigg E Z 10-09-03 04:58 PM

dope as fuck man....i dont need to explain..!!!

but...ur vocab was ill...flow...ill....All of it...ill...

and where are these killa internals u been braggin bout.....the way u front, u should be able to build damns with ur verses....

im kiddin man....

SICK AS FUCK..!!

Bigg E Z 10-09-03 05:00 PM

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/mem...fo&userid=19640

holla..!!!

Edicius 10-09-03 05:04 PM

*Whipes tears from eyes*

Baron Mynd 10-09-03 07:05 PM

lol

*Y_nOt* 10-09-03 07:23 PM

True...this shit was pretty sick. Your imagry was ill.....vocab was tiight...word play and all that was sick too. Like Born to kill said....this shit true??? Good drop keep it up, 1

Emerge 10-10-03 04:39 AM

i hate to join that pack but yo that shit was too sick i read one of a couple of ure battles today and wit dis piece i can tell u aint no fluke drop links so i may read ure shit cuz its hella funny and full of epiphanies i wont vote cuz im new to this but i would like to read it nonetheless peace!!!!!!!!!!

Bigg E Z 10-10-03 06:42 AM

^^^^^^^LMFAO......!!!!

And yeah...Cams got a real problem, he really enjoyes his Fags....AND I CAN PROVE IT...!!!!

Love u "PINKNESS".......!!!

MethodZ 10-10-03 07:54 AM

**wipes tears**

Man that was some dope shit...that last line was like WHOA
i loved this in every way..it was should i say FANTASTIC in my words..u always have good shitt...very good imagination

or was this a true story??

G.Hod 10-10-03 10:18 AM

I remember you putting this together on AIM the other day, it came out pretty good. . :)

I liked the whole storyline, up until your last "stanza." With such a flawless construction, I don't know why you didn't take it further. I wished you would've wrote of the resolution and what happened after the diagnosis. Regardless, it was a dope piece & innovative, for that matter.

Emerge 10-10-03 06:41 PM

sorry for freeposting this goes to BIG E Z go fuk ure self dog u and ure whole bunk ass white boy country full of "wankers" lol dumb bastards why u go into threads just to talk shit? ure a waste of space and time and life for that matter yo
go die!

Baron Mynd 10-10-03 06:48 PM

^ Im white, and from england so yeah. .
Quote:
u and ure whole bunk ass white boy country full of "wankers" lol dumb bastards


^ you may wanna take that back, seeing as i write better and battle better than 90% of you americans on this site. .

Da_Renegade 10-10-03 06:52 PM

I dont think it was siick the rest

to me it was okay, flow was very very simple

vocab was okay, the only thing that made me even read it was the concept

you need to come up wit a better flow and lay off the simple rhyme schemes i see u doing

"Hoping that Either id be respected, & shown True Peers Love,
or become noticed, & then fulfill what id Always Dreamed Of."

very simple

the only line i really liked was the one about cancer stiks

basically it

7/10

work on a better rhyme scheme and flow, its too basic, just had a good concept
1

rule 10-10-03 06:55 PM

definitly a hot piece, you really broght the imaginary and descritions amazing, the way you described everythig was on point...great read...check my new poeice out..thanks peace

Baron Mynd 10-10-03 07:07 PM

Renagade - before you reply to any more of my pieces, go learn to define what makes a piece. If i wanted a piece with amazing flow, internals, punches and seven syllable multi's in each line, im more than capable of doing that, fact is -

Rhymes like that have little if ANY substance to them.

Writing like that, you cant get across your writers voice, you cant give the piece depth, emotion, imagery etc, it just dosent happen. Ever. So before you get on a high horse complaining, learn how to fucking write yourself and realise, EVERY PIECE DOSENT REVOLVE AROUND PUNCHES / WORPLAY AND MULTI'S IN EVERY SINGLE SYLLABLE FOR MORONS LIKE YOURSELF.

it just gets me aggitated kids tryna speak on stuff they know nothing about. thats all.

Da_Renegade 10-10-03 07:10 PM

its funny you say you cant use multis and dont express yourself the same way

1: go play an Eminem CD

out

G.Hod 10-10-03 07:33 PM

^ Bad decision. . :(

Emerge 10-10-03 07:41 PM

^^^^^^ camarac...clearly ure an exception but i aint takin shit back if u dont like wat i said then so be it anyway i have said that u do write well so get off my back just cuz one of ure fellow "brits" decided to talk shit instead of critique ure piece

my bad for freeposting this
im out
peace


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