"Rookie" (To all the vets)
 

yo check it out, im coming straight off the dome
if my words dont kill you first, dont second guess my chrome
home alone, thats where your gonna be left
once you hear i put your family to death with shots to the chest
cant be saved by a vest, im the gun slinger from the west
each shell of mine will pass like i was writing a test
yo, i could go for hours but my raps can be compressed
i profess, i was blessed with the skill to be the best
now if i was adressed, and my skills were to be assessed
i think the people would confess that they were impressed (yeah)
cuz all the others just put words together
there puches hit light like a feather, i could take um forever
but im much better, got you scared, so your much wetter
swimmin in your own swet, and you call yourselves the vet
thats right, you know yall are dealin with a rookie
well lookie, ive lost all my battles and you still havent shook me
the skills i got rip people quick, my second line is "who's next"
you only bounce to your rhymes if you wrote um on bad cheques
yeah i cut people when i spit, end up carting your limbs
im shocking you with the skills - yall shaking like parkinsons
but im a worse disease, test me please
cuz ill shut you down, and make you look weak like HIV
and when the lyrics hit ya, they attack like cancer from the inside
i dont lie, dont be blind, ive been tried
but i come back, rip the track
when you come back, you sound more wack
cuz you got no lines, but i hit more good bars than drunks do
if your good in school, in the rap exam id flunk you
dunk you, like you were dealing with tracy mcgrady
your more like a laker commitin crimes like kobe maybe
but the rhymes will make the crowd scream like i was vince carter
the game is too easy for me you need to work harder
cuz on the mike ill beat anyone and you dont want that
so take a lesson from the rest and just dont come back
and in the booth, i rhyme too smooth, i flow like water
battle me and you'll get beat like i was your father
im not well known, but i set the tone
and when i get in the zone, you know winnin is prone
holding my own, with skills - theres no need to hone
already sitting in the throne, never battle me alone
if you expect to win, cuz for you winning will be postponed
to a later date, cuz now im making the crowd moan
yeah im already famous, like my last name was stallone
if we battle you should preorder your tombstone (bitch)
but if your determined to lose, challenge me i wont stop ya
just know that your weak ass rhymes belong in the opera

cuz i always make the stage hot, my act is hard to follow
yall bitches should try to spit once, rather than swallow
and look - their aint no such thing as half way crooks
i know your shook, gettin beaten up by the rook

lol its all good, just thought id spit something

uppin

looking for feedback

holla back at this

holla, holla, holla back

Up this again without giving feedback on other pieces and you will be banned

yeah that was pretty good and all but the flow fell off at times and u need some multis

thanks man, but what is the true definition of a multi...like check these lines:
"yo, i could go for hours but my raps can be compressed
i profess, i was blessed with the skill to be the best
now if i was adressed, and my skills were to be assessed
i think the people would confess that they were impressed"
wouldn't you call that a multi? each line has at least two rhyming words and all the lines rhyme together...anyway holla back at that and tell me what you think

more feedback still coming

peace

holla at this people, dont sleep, i looked at your shit

that was a pretty good flow for a newb but u need to elevate but he thats okay i see potential in ur flows so keep droppin

not bad...
this got tired after about halfway thru...

wit the exception of the kobe line all of this has been said before by somebody better than u...

keep workin on it...

{Peace}

ay yo new boy u dont know me but i know u you play my little pony go home and show me, your a felcher im just a belcher when it comes to talkin about what u are im gonna melt ya, this is lyrical bad behaviour the flavour too easy is a mob deep pirater, he talks about crooks and how their shook when really hes the one scared to look-at this!

mc explicit your wack

uppin for some comments

im gonna carry on slayin, as i do im also sayin
that last night i went out with tooeasys mom and she was payin,
for me to eat food, we went back to mine and got nude
i better stop now this story ends up to rude,
aah sod it i fraped your mom allnight,what a sight,
her pussy was so toght she had a fright,
i thought id have to stick it up her bum like a nun,
but then she screamed es she poured with cum,
as soon as id finished she got dressed and she was gone
i sat down and thought ohno that was tooeasys mom,
but i dont care, i know my shits rare
the reason your on here is cause your speech is impared,

hey too easy ill expose u for the fake you are,leave u verbally scarred and selling your bottom in the park

wow..this was wack to the 5th power

^^stragiht wordness, ur flow seemed to fall off throughout the post, ur vocab and wordplay were ok, ur content and topic were hella played, so next time try and write about somethin thats hasnt been used very much, but other than that u got ability so keep droppin son.

peace.......

your drop was aite, i think just a lil too long of the same shit,

yo, i could go for hours but my raps can be compressed
i profess, i was blessed with the skill to be the best
now if i was adressed, and my skills were to be assessed
i think the people would confess that they were impressed

^ i like that line pretty tite
dont stop ya droppin, someone says shit, just keep walkin
peace

This Piece Sucked.

you got potential
i see great things coming for you
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

thanks for the comments, uppin for more

mc explicit spits the wackest verses ive ever heard