Self Discovery & Description
 

At the crack of dawn, I've got crack in my palm
Passing it back to brats without an active qualm
Since I was a spawn of birth I was acting wrong
Slapping moms if the breast milk wasn't packed & warm
My naps are long cuz all day my back's to the wall
I'm trapped in a small, unattractive, tacky stall
Extractions of my falls are never enacted at all
I get slapped like a ball, & laughed at if I show passion at all
During the days I hide inside my soul to find my whole
At night when I'm not confined to grow is when I shine the most
The time just floats when I'm rhyming online or at home
My mind is like chrome - shining...defining my throne
I prize my poems cuz when I die they'll never deny my flows
I find hope...and spit twice more phrases than signs hold
As crime grows this nation starts to decline slow
My mind is potent like I had active mines in my dome
I debate the blatant reasons that create revelation
Creating spaces in the brain for people to dwell on patience
Rebelling nations create anger that swells in faces
Placing anger in strangers who'll go to hell for payments
The planet's crazy & filled with parents that abandon babies
The *Man has played me cuz there's no one there prepared to save me
Despair is stained deep in the Earth but the ground stays green
My frame is weak from the pain of people blaming me
So prepare for warfare...all countries together in a torn fear
Just remember that the 1st prediction of destruction was born here

uppin......damn ya'll sleep 2 much.....

straight....but w/e....

yea like uppin......

yep..
pz....

damn!!...uppin #2..i guess

yep..
pz....

u got sum skill
nuth speacial feelin sum ya shit
damn tho fool u must do this alot
u got sum heated lines

u lack any real events
u kinda weak u wanna battle bluhd

lol...no im not battlin you^^.....u will merk me......

anywayzzzzzzzzz.....uppin 4 feedback....

yep..
pz....

hahahahhaha
lmao made me laugh

nice drop son, flow was there, nice use of multies. vocab was nice, content was good...nothing really bad to say bout it..keep dropping

Extractions of my falls are never enacted at all
I get slapped like a ball, & laughed at if I show passion at all

stood out to me ^

yo if you get a chance could you hit up my latest open mic and leave me some feedback...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=85644

thanx 4 tha feedback folk........

Uppin #3......

yep..
pz....

uppin #4.....

yep..
pz...

My naps are long cuz all day my back's to the wall
^WHoa

During the days I hide inside my soul to find my whole
At night when I'm not confined to grow is when I shine the most
^Whoa

I debate the blatant reasons that create revelation
Creating spaces in the brain for people to dwell on patience
Rebelling nations create anger that swells in faces
Placing anger in strangers who'll go to hell for payments
The planet's crazy & filled with parents that abandon babies
The *Man has played me cuz there's no one there prepared to save me
Despair is stained deep in the Earth but the ground stays green
^Best part of verse. You got skills, everything was on-point, no flaw. Stay up near classic.

shit...................that was some deep shit..it sounded like you were actually depressed or summat, and your feelings come across well in this piece. Enjoyed this hit, and wanna see more of this kinda stuff in open mic, and not wack ass lil crane shit talkin bout gats and stuff when he lives in a 7 bedroom house in the posh part of london.............

VERDICT:ILL PIECE, multi's were sharp, wordplay good etc

uppin...#5......

yep..
pz....

During the days I hide inside my soul to find my whole
At night when I'm not confined to grow is when I shine the most
The time just floats when I'm rhyming online or at home
My mind is like chrome - shining...defining my throne
I prize my poems cuz when I die they'll never deny my flows
I find hope...and spit twice more phrases than signs hold
As crime grows this nation starts to decline slow
My mind is potent like I had active mines in my dome

Every single bit of this had amazingly sick flow...
I read it and never paused once, it was like I'd written it myself.

Despair is stained deep in the Earth but the ground stays green
My frame is weak from the pain of people blaming me

This I totally fuckin relate to.
Catchin shit for shit you do...
Maybe you deserve it, maybe you don't.
But fuck, it still sucks to get it.

And the ending was tight as fuck too...
Spooky Nostrodamus type shit.

Very ill drop. I can tell ya had alot of emotion and 'lostness' going into this. Kind like WTF is our world comin to?

It ain't a pretty picture you paint.

But that's why it hits so hard.

Tight as fuck, Youngblood.

Peace

thanx for the feedback B2K...i appreciate it.....

yep..
pz....

Nice drop

Good strutcure ok vocab,...and nice concept, ...

real nice piece dawg :),....Props...nuttin more to say bout this,..jus its nice