[Week 3 Championship Match]Auspicious vs Chrit
 

In...

Betrayed By Faith

^^^
What I'm doin...

Yep

The Atheist
The only man upstairs is the crackhead on the third floor...
This life is bad enough... Why would I even hope for more...
Whats in store for me? Answer.. death and thats it....
Why spend life in fear of something that dont exist...
Religion? Bullshit... how dare they lie to me...
Existence is explained not by a book but evolution theories...
So I live life to the fullest... forget sins and commendments...
Lust and greed bad? Well then fuck a savior god damnit...
Nobody planned it... Life is just a series of events to enjoy...
So forget your holy book... Implausable... A virgin had a boy?....
Death comes near me... Life lived in fear of finality...
Its almost as if my lack of faith betrayed the life in me..


The Religious Person
Sundays here... Time for worship and reflection...
Heathons all around... Wishing they could be free of sins...
Life begins... And ends... With one theme... God...
May not be the perfect sheep yet... but lord we work hard...
I pray for atheists... And hope they will realize before its too late...
That their fate... Is to spend eternity at the gate...
Commandments are laws of life... Followed at all cost...
For I've missed nothing and without God I'm lost...
Sex, , cursing and other sins bring nothing but sorrow...
Why live for today
when the better part of existence extends past tomorrow...
Dying days around the corner... faith helps but worries me...
I missed so many things in life... Have my beliefs betrayed me?...


The Enlightened
Is there a God? Maybe... But something beyond us must exist...
Thoughts persist.. But live my life so nothings missed...
Dogma had it right... we should all question what we're told...
Maybe then we wont live in fear when we get old...
The Bible's sold? How is that for hypocracy....
Church is a chore? There is no celebration of faith to me...
Sin but repent... Not living in fear... See life as a blessing...
Why live in fear of God? Or the opposite... both left stressing...
I'd rather take it as it comes.. No dreading my judgement day...
Knowing that a real Father would not turn thinkers away....
Sheep are herded and killed... Why would I buy into that...
No excess of faith here... Nor is it something that I lack...
So even in death I will live on... Through original thought I'll be saved...
If I dont expect anything in particular... How can I be betrayed?




Note: This was a little different type style for me...
Lets see how it turned out...
Good Luck Aus

Thanks For Showing..
Ima Go Simple Here..
Hanging On
I'll Drop Sumtime In The
Not To Distant Future..
Not Bad Chrit.. See You
Comin Up ...

i liked it, nice

.. Information Told ..

Never Let Go.. The Soul Cant Hold You..
Never Let Go.. The Soil That Molds You..
Never Let Go.. For Theirs Always A Reason..
Never Let Go.. Their There If You Need Them..

Your Mothers Got Cancer.. That’s What They Told Him..
He Cried Oceans, For The Shit He Wished They Never Shown Him..
Scolded, From An Abusive Fatherhood..
Fists That Showered Him, Bothered Him..
Cigarette Burns, N’ Smoke Inhalation..
He’d Cry Happiness To Face Him……….. Rehabilitated..
It’s the Hope Of Not Knowing.. What To Hang On Too..
The Hope Of Not Knowing.. Of Hope That Came Upon You..

.. Never Losing Sight ..

He Never Lost The Dream.. That His Life Was Meant For..
Stay Focused, Despite The Problems He Had Resent For..
His Mother Withering Away, With Her Skin Touching Tone..
His Home.. Fermented Foundation, Slowly Time Has Broke..
Provoked, Father To Never Quit.. But He Still Held Strong..
Hell’s Song, Upon The Platform Their Relationship Would Melt On..
Getting Older, His Youth Taking His Thoughts Attention..
Actions Burning, But Never Lost His Thoughts Intentions..
He Held Tight, For What’s Right, Knew Things Would Look Up..
Father Beating Him (shook up)..……………………….He Stood Up..
He Stood For What He Believed In, The Rights Of His Heart..
The Fight He Didn’t Start.. And The Family Ripped Apart..
For His Love.. His Mom On Drugs, Ivine And Cancer Treatment..
The Beatins, He Endured Upon The Love Of His Secret..
The Confinement Of A Kid, Who Was Shown Nothing But Doubt..
Stood Proud.. Cuz He Never Lost Sight Of What He Talked About..
Precise.. Life Striked Twice For Problems He Never Forgot To Write..
Thought The Price, Was Pointless……..He Never Lost Sight..

.. Hung Up ..

He Called Me.. Middle Of The Night, Phone Shakin The Wire..
“I Killed Him” Murmured Before His Home Awakened A Fire..
He Ran To The Hospital.. To Visit His Mother In Bed..
Nothin He Said.. As The Nurse Told Him His Mother Was Dead..
“Can I See Her” He Asked.. As He Wiped The Ash From His Hands Onto His Pants..
As He Advanced, He Backed On The Facts.. He Loved Her, Just Wish He Had The Chance..
He Never Lost Sight, But Questioned Whether Or Not He Had Ought To..
As The Situation Was Brought To.. He Wondered Where His Life Had Gone To..
The Blood Washed In The Rain, Looking To Find What Was Told..
Sat Down, Face To The Sky And Drifted His Mind From His Soul..

He Never Let Go.. The Soul Couldn’t Hold Him..
He Never Let Go.. The Soil That He Molds In..
He Never Let Go.. For Theirs Always A Reason..
He Never Let Go.. They Disappeared When He Need Them..
Thought He Had The Answer, But In Reality.. Didn’t Yet Know..
Hanging On To Life Is Nothing.. If Life Lets Go..


True Story.. He Commited Sucide In The Park That Night.
I Was Friends With Him.. This Is How I Know What Went On.
Thought I Would Get It out Here.. Writers Block.. Props To Chrit
....................................RIP........... .......................
..............................Cory Miller..............................
................................9/25/02................................

I Think Chrit Took This One.
Auspicious Tried To Use The Feel Sorry For Me For The Vote Approach.
I've Used It Before Too. But Chrit Won It By The Skill In His Writing.
And The Expertise Shown With The 3 Different Points Of View.
Chrit Is Really Elevating As A Topical Writer and Auspicious's Last Couple
Of Verses Have Had The Same Kind Of Approach., But Yea Chrit.
Came Strong, Hard, And To The Point, And I Loved His Verse.

Vote Chrit

Deffinately A Nice Topic...By Both

Chrit= had his topic laid out good...
the whole verse was strong...........
you were persistant with flow.........
heart....and expression of the people...
nicely done...goodmind story goin on

Aus= this sounded like a movie...
it was told like you could see it happen...
it was just that strong...true stories is what it's about...
i hafta go wit aus...his story was better...
fealt that shit more...great flow....
you've got some of the best around...

vote=aus

Sureal.. I Basically Am A Story Teller..
Not Much On Facts And What Not...
So They All Have The Same Kind Of Approach..
And I Just Met With His Sister The Other Day
And Got Reminded Of Him.. Sorry If Its
A Crime To Do That.. Really Didn't Want
A "Feel Bad For Me Win".. My Mind Was
Just Blank With Nuthing But Him.. So Yeah..

^^^

Really now...
Thats just weak

Dont try to explain yourself...
Just sit back and takes votes as they come

Chrit=Using 3 points of view in your piece, really showed more talent than any limitations. It Shows how your expanding your writing skills. The atheist part was, to me, the strongest part in the piece. Kept it nice and strong, consistent throughout.

Auspicious: You came out straight forward. Didn't try anything new, kept with the formula, but it worked out for you. You had a strong piece here, it may not have been as creative as Chrit's but it had some stronger points in it then the new approach.

With that said though, Auspicious almost took this one. The topic got a bit too caught up in itself, and you lose any interest by the end of your first verse. Also your hooks weakened it. Chrit put out 3 consistent verses, which had no major weaknesses, except for the fact his flow was too simple and needed a bit more complexity.
Nice battle and big ups to both...
Vote-Chrit.

2-1

:thumbup:

Vote Chrit

Chrit - I enjoyed your piece alot.....the 3 points of view were nice, this is the first topical i seen from you and i think you did a good job....

Aus - You had a nice piece, you had a nice story....but your verse, never really appealed to me.....some things seemed forced

So thats why chrit got it

Chrit....pretty nice piece from you...i might have expected more but you had easy flow along with a good structure...I wouldnt say magnificient for a championship post but good.

Aus...Honestly theres no such thing as a sympathy WIN!!!!Anyone can write a suck piece about someone that died and lose...especially when it comes to the internet...Your piece was really good man..structure on point...creative and your flow was nice....Congrats im giving you the win...

vote=Aus

3-2

Both of these rhymes were nearly jaw-dropping in their illness.

I look forward to eventually facing one of you for the title.

Someday.

Chrit...

Great three parter...
Reflecting different feelings, emotions, regret, and outlook on life, lord, dying, and afterwards...
The only thing I would have upped is the vocab, some good stuff, but mostly everyday words...
Still, the high dollar vocab didn't make or break this rhyme.
This was truely bad ass, my man.

9/10

Auspicious (Thug Whyte is it? Too many names you guys have!)

Great emotional piece. Didn't find you looking for sympathy at all with it. If anything, ya givin sympathy to the poor bastard's situation by telling his story.
Some stories are tragic and sad, so what?
Doesn't keep em from being good, though.

9/10

So, how do I vote?
I wanna call em both even and leave it at that, but that would be pussy.

So...

I'm gonna go with "diverse talent" here and vote Chrit.

Simply cuz he had those three different viewpoints...

That was pretty remarkable to relay different opinions and beliefs and make it work and read so well.

Outstanding, Chrit.

Nyce flow by both, both came hard, but rhyme scheme took this, lyke tha different portrayals of people by Chrit, and lyked how Ausp. fragmented his friends lyfe and stook to holding on,

Chrit: Rhyme Scheme: 6, Flow: 7, Story: 8, Total: 21
Ausp: Rhyme Scheme: 7.5, Flow: 6.5, Story: 7.5, Total: 21.5

Vote: Ausp, This was mad close fellaz, no hard feelins, nyce drops, may tha best man win......peep my ish, stay real, peace, 1

4-3 Correct ? (chrit winning)

That was two very good verses from both...

Chrit:

Good approach and solid. I liked the different points of view..it was absolute money...Good solid rhyme scheme and good flow.8/10

Aus:

This verse is ver well done. The story really gripped me...got the edge from Chrit on that aspect. Flow had some trouble spots in the beginning but you overshawoed it by coming strong in the middle and end. Good Verse. 8.5/10

Vote: Aus.

Solid battle. This is what you look for in a championship.

4-4

Chrit-nice imagery and creativity...over all a very nice piece...and excellent idea with the 3 points of view...

Auspy-also a nice story going on...nice structure...although ya verse wasn't quite as creative as Chrit's...I was feeling ya flow better...multi'z were good...

this was a very close battle but I think I'ma have to give the vote to Auspy...

so...

vote-Auspicious

chrit - ecellent peice, the 3 views caught my eyes and i think it would be very difficult lookin under 3 views when its obvious u can only have 1 view, great depth in all aspects, no much more i can say that other havent

aus- dont care if it was true or not very well written and told, i cant imagine how hard it was writting that about a good friend, very good, the last line in the last corus got me

Thought He Had The Answer, But In Reality.. Didn’t Yet Know..
Hanging On To Life Is Nothing.. If Life Lets Go..

i loved that line
very hard vote, hard enough to call it a draw, but of 2 ecellent peices with very few erres if any my vote gotes to auspicious
vote- auspicious

6-4
= |

=/

I win

Closed




































Concrats..votin is useless, damn i wanted to vote..

Then vote...

This goes until voting closes correct?

Thats The LLL... Good Battle Tho..
Wouldn't Mind A Rematch SUmtime..
How A Championship Match Is S'pose To Be

Props To Ya
-Gh0st-

It goes until voting closes...
thats why there's a vote deadline...

Imagine That..

:)

Really Aus's piece wasn't bad. Just wasn't as deep or skilled as Chrit's. Nor did it catch the reader like Chrit's did. Chrit's three point of views kept you interested and displayed some interesting philosophies and insights at the same time keeping the skill. Auspicious was eh with the flow and umm... with the whole topic. Just a little skill refining and this would've been very close.

vote - chrit

6-5

We need votes in my battle verse Edicius.

Got Cha

youre all a bunch of herbs, smelly bitch ass little turds, kick youre asses to the curbs, while im smokin on my herbs, never chokin on my words, i speak my mind while youre messages are blurred, and that shits obsurd it should never be heard...nucka..

^^ Dushe Bag Of The Month Award

chrit - i liked the 3 points of view, it shows you are open minded and creative,
you were consistent throughout the whole piece,
nice easy to follow rhymescheme,
but it was a bit simple,
interesting vocab,
the ideas you used were really good for example,

So forget your holy book... Implausable... A virgin had a boy?....

The Bible's sold? How is that for hypocracy....

Overall good piece,


Auspicious- this was a real emotional piece,
Good story telling,
This was more complex,
The flow was hard to get at first,
But after a while I got in to it,
Good imagery, and very descriptive,
I really got into this,
Only thing it could of done without was the hook,
Kinda weakened it but still good job,

Overall this was much closer than I thought it would be,
Both had strong points,
But overall auspicious just gets this,
Slightly better,

Vote=auspicious

7-5

Auspicious Wins.