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Friends no more (diss)
When Darkness Falls - Rob D
Not Right - Defend Rappers Done Gone Soft - A.T INFO: This is a peice bout a girl I know who I love to bits but we have like an Eminem/Kim friendship. We argue a lot and this time the friendship just might be over. So I should say we WERE freinds but I wanted more. This is a diss to her. Her name is Alysha and I still love her. Verse 1 Imagine if we could go back to when we met in school... Would I still fall for you like a fool... Would I still go round sayin Alysha rules... Would you still change and become so cruel... If so, I don't wanna meet you again, you were the girl of my dreams... But you changed, became a bitch, I guess friendship aint all it seems... We were untouchable til you started aimin disses at me like laser beams... To me you were a queen, I was so close to you... Yes I still love you but I dunno what to do... I wont cope without you but I'm gon' have to... I think I've lost you and the thought hurts me... But I gotta be strong coz really you never cared for me... I realise that you were frontin' when you were there for me... Chorus You were the #1 girl in my life... You woulda made the perfect wife... But now I look at a knife and think of suicide... You've broke my heart, it'll be easier if I just died... You told me to control my anger and yes I tried... But you kept complainin so the end has arrived... Verse 2 Do you really know what you've gone and done... I know longer have I anythin to lose, I'll easily use a gun... You crashed down on me like a ton of bricks... Always talkin bout other lads like you were suckin their dicks... I cant take your games and tricks anymore... Bitch I prefered how you was before so I'm a show you the door... I love you right down to the core so my heart feels sore... You fuckin whore, you want forgiveness?, get on your knees... When Harry died you said you would always be there for me... What a liein, decietful, spiteful bitch you turned out to be... Finally the real you is what I see, you've been my rock... But fuck you, go make a livin out of suckin cocks... Go shut yourself away in a box and never come out... No more do I wanna scream and shout... Chorus You were the #1 girl in my life... You woulda made the perfect wife... But now I look at a knife and think of suicide... You broke my heart, it'll be easier if I just died... You told me to control my anger and yes I tried... But you kept complainin so the end has arrived... Outro - Singing You just a whore... You just a whore... You just a whore... And we aint friends no more... |
aiight
ur open mics seem to be gettin longer. aiight some lines were simple and let the peace down Imagine if we could go back to when we met in school... Would I still fall for you like a fool... Would I still go round sayin Alysha rules... Would you still change and become so cruel... ^^^perfect example^^^ but other lines made this piece stand out, I cant take your games and tricks anymore... Bitch I prefered how you was before so I'm a show you the door... this piece seemed to be wrote out of hate, and that blinded you, with a lot of abusive language. it was an aiight drop please peep the poetry section ans reply to my latest drop life, future, death, past aiight peace |
oh yeah amd i signed us up for the next tag tourney, cos we didnt get into this one
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dont just view and not reply you lazy bastards
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i like this coz it shows uv let ur feelins out in a song and that always comes out gd wen u gt summat deep 2 rite about. i kno the feelin m8....
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OK thanks for the comments...keep 'em comin. It aint no longer than lyrics to a song by your favourite rappers and I bet you read them so dont be lazy.
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lol dont know how to critique it
seven said it all... i agree wit him... but i really didnt feel any of the lyrics.. im not into the lovely i love u shit unless u mean it.. |
Everythin in my open mics is the truth....I talk bout my life.
I love her to bits but some times you get really pissed off and say things you dont wanna say. I feel a bit guilty for postin this coz I love her and we're tryin to sort things out between us. This was wrote after an arguement so what I'm sayin is the truth |
will to be honest i think this piece was tight u came real about how u feel over some chick and u was able to write it down in a rhyme and share it wit us......now unfortunately double o seven is right it was a lil simple but it did have a few lines dat made it more worth da complex piece it could be but other than that i think its a nice piece and i would like to read more of ur work to be able to critique on ur overall flow....tight work
illest line of this piece in my opinion: "When Harry died you said you would always be there for me... What a liein, decietful, spiteful bitch you turned out to be..." |
I intend to post a lot more open mics so you'll get to read more. Thanks for the comment
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nice shit.... had real emotion, and the flow was consistent..... up your vocab and chuck few multi's in and you'll have a 10 our of 10 piece..... this was some deep stuff, and i hope it gets better for you.... 8.5/10
check out my open mic "Rap Magnetism"... thanks |
OK thanks
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that was tight i hope it aint a true story
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Unfortuanatly it is a true story. Shame coz I love her so much
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I been in EXACLY the same position, last year a girl called Chennel got close to me. An at first it was her who liked me an I payed no mind. I startin' spending time with her though an she was dere when I found out my uncle died an she comforted me. From dat day I expressed feelings for her an she took advantage of my sensitivity by flirting with other boys an talkin' bout how buff this boy is an what not. My love grew to an obession despite the fact we argued ova dis boy she says is buff... she says its me she likes but still semmed to like another 2 boys. I hated her an like you did I wrote a song bout it an put it through her letterbox... I got hell from her, she came to my yard an ripped up the paper in my face an shouted "fuck you" an left... well, I did diss her in dat verse, it takes a while to get over... time is the best healer!!! I still think bout her eventhough I got someone else nowadays... more always come along... its likw waiting fo a bus, you wait ages for one then like 2 or 3 come at the same time... good lookin' on your work, I really liked it coz I can relate, it makes you a mentelly stronger person.
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Yeah I love her so much but she shitted on me so fuck her. We used to be so close when I was battlin depression and shit like that and once I admitted that I liked her she became a bitch. When we went out as mates after she moaned we never see eachother she froze up and ignored me the whole night. It's a true eminem/kim friendship. We argue and make up and so on. You can expect to see some sly disses to her in up and coming open mics. I dont think I'll do another open mic especially dissing her but her name will be mentioned again. Love can be a strange thing. She only wanted to know when I was goin through hard times. I will never trust her again.
Anyway thanks the comment....expect more sly disses |
Yeah, gals don't want you as much when they know they can get you.
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Exactly. I was goin through a rough time and she was there but when I got out of it she dont wanna know. I just use whats gone on in my life as inspiration for my open mics.
Everythin I say is the truth |
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aight homie, nice piece, kinda basic but I felt it
you got your rage out and sorry to hear bout ya gurl been in that same position as my ex cheated on me and i was too stupid to take her back, ... at the end... all women are whores, lol jk nice piece anywayz, keep droppin, nice to see ya work in the open mics resp |
We were OK for a while but it got too much to handle when it turned into an eminem/kim friendship and now we dont speak but I still love her and care for her.
Anyway up |
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nice shit, Original subjet keep goin
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I'm feelin dis peice girls be trippin. I got dis girl I used to mess wit callin me talkin bout fuck you David. How she gon leave me and say fuck me? Anyway I related to dis man I hope to see more like dis. Check out my post http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=93630 Holla
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Thanks for the comments. up
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Shit man......feelin it, you sounded hurt bruv.....Liked this piece immensely
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I am hurt. Thats why I wrote it
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i thought this was good but could of been better.
it was very heartfelt and that may have been your downfall. good anyway. keep up the good stuff peace. MC Bizkit |
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You still uppin' dis....... ya bwoy Funn ain't goin' nowhere so to let you know........
uppin' |
like ppl have said their's alot of basic lines in here. not really tomuch complexity in this but it made for a good read. and again sorry for what happend bro. must be hell. peace.
and if ya got the time check out my collab with 2-Rich "40's, bongs, an bitchez (feat. Gene Pool)" and leave some feedback bro. thanx in advance peace. |
It is hell. UPPIN
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yea dat shit was tight fam....keep dat mind state an determination everytime u go to write an u'll be straight holla t me ONE
SDG |
Thanks for the comments. Keep 'em comin
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I think this was a lil 2 basic, and it sounds/seems like you got the concept from Eminem, cos he rapped about his girl n there probs n u look up2 him, so u decided to do one. Thats cool n all, but if u love her, why u dissin her? I thought some of the lines didn't flow fluently, but it was a good concept trust. I think if you were a lil more imaginative with ya vocab, it would of been a dope piece. No hatin' jus expressin my views, aight. Keep postin'.. Holla Peace
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Nah I didnt copy eminem, I was just lettin my feelins out. I feel guilty bout postin this peice coz I care for her but I was extremely pissed off. I didnt wanna diss her and I'll be postin a verse up soon about her without dissin her to try and tone the whole situation down a bit. Thanks for your views tho
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Somebody plz close dis shyt already......damn 'cotton candy' lyricz anyhow.....*am not in da mood fa lovevydubby shyt right now*
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