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Corrupted Visions: Can't Let You Go
Posted In: Restricted, WORTH, Tax
Every time I close my eyes all I see is your face… Remembering your lips and their pure taste… Tasting Sweet like you, I never speak more true.. When I told you….it would just be us two…. Cause from the moment I first felt your lips… All I ever was…was just dealt four sips…. Of tasting your sweet nectar, it cant be described… And from that moment, I just wanted you to be mine… I wanted to live that moment with you as long as I could.. And I would as long as you said you were mine for good.. I just cant let you go… When your in my arms you glow.. I just cant let you go… Baby I have so much to show… I just cant let you go… Baby I just have to let you know.. I just cant let you go… All it takes is just one touch to bring a smile to my face… If you ever went away you would take awhile to replace.. Cause underneath the stars you just shine so bright… As I look at you all I think is making you mine tonight… Times not right cause it just went way too fast… The moment I want to last, I cant turn back to the past.. Cause you aren’t there and it wouldn’t be the same… And ill be there no matter what when you speak my name… Cause all I hear is your soft voice…it just lures me in… So many things I need to say, don’t know where to begin… I just cant let you go… When your in my arms you glow.. I just cant let you go… Baby I have so much to show… I just cant let you go… Baby I just have to let you know.. I just cant let you go… You’re wonderful smile always brightens up my day… And I could be lost but you always lighten up the way.. Just looking into your eyes makes it hard to breathe… And when I say goodbye, for me its just hard to leave… I want to stay with you and hold you in your sleep… And if loving you was a game, I’d play for keeps… Cause I cant lose you, I need you here with me… To hold you and whisper in your ear “kiss me”… I just want to show you all of my affection… Cause to me your everything...your perfection… |
flow was tight... feelin the emotion
nice |
yeah man....this came across good.....stuck to the topic nicely....quite a simple approach.....but it worked...maybe that was cos of the emotion in it,,dunno.......i would say thought the vocab could be expanded on..i think....but nice drop....Pz......
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all in all all elements where here and it came nice tight peace
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Hey thanks for the feedback so far...Keep the feedback coming in..its much appreciated, thanks.
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yo man was a good drop. a good approach to but like deva said the vocab coulda maybe been upped a bit but other then that ur flow was down, the emotion was there, u had some imagery to this piece and u had some good structure work here, I also thought ur hook was down. good job bro if u wanted me to rate this I'd say an 8.5 outta 10. keep droppin bro. peace.
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yo nice rhyme man it was tight keep up the good work peace
-KeMy$t |
simple but deep enough to keep reading. good drop, maybe a little work on the vocab, but complex vocab wasn't really necessary for the feeling, so 8/10
peace |
Yo....This was straight.....Although I've seen waayyy too many posts Like this in open mic already.....*nods slowly*......Flow was nice though.....You stayed on subject....good post....
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Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreciated, Thanks.
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Well I'm not a big fan of these types of lyrics,not into them soft shit
but this isnt about my likes, the flow was there,simple but sweet, the chorus was a bit weak Nothing really stood out....pretty much basic..and as far as the cat saying a vocab wasnt really needed...well i think it was cuz i think many people would agree....it was pretty much unorginal... but a overall you get a 5.5/10 next time try to be more creative with you words Peace.... 1............ |
good as always. flow was perfect, some multies. keep droppin. thanks for hittin mine up too
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Hey thanks for the feedback so far...keep the feedback coming in, Its much appreciated, Thanks.
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yo dawg that was a Nyce Piece i was feeling ya in that one good Lyrics......but u Vocab could get al little touch up but all round a pretty tight Peice...........
Peace Out Kuz(v) |
nice piece.......i give it 7/10........ not my style but i do get on that tip once in a while.......... u gifted kid
wun |
PRetty chunky homie. I like the focus, i think i could hear this on a mello track. keep reckin diversity is a great tool
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Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreicated, Thanks.
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Wow this was pretty deep masta, i was really feeling that it touched me in a way i could relate to, You had some Really good lines, your multies were really good also, overall this piece was really good, enjoyed the read
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Hey Thanks For The Feedback Rap Chick...Keep The Feedback Coming In..Its Much Appreciated, Thanks.
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lil sappy, kould be turned into a song from da gaysink or w/e, but i feel ya dawg... id give diss a 7/10
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Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreciated.
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i like clicking into thread links with catchy title . . you did exactly that . . the drop went exactly with the title of the drop . . that's good! as for your chorus/hook be more creative with that . . you over used the word "baby" . . it sounded like something B2K would write . . so next time stay away from the words like baby . . na'sayin? it appeared that you had a little wordplay in there so that's good . . you had some metaphors as well . . vocabs! you need to at least show you have an intelligent mind . . use vocabs . . but don't overdose on it . . it'll only make your verse(s) just boring . . try adding multies . . it'll make it a sweet read . . na'sayin? but like the vocabs . . don't overdose on these neither . . you had a nice structure which made it an easy read . . this peice was pretty deep . . i liked it . . keep droppin . . keep elevatin . . get at me!
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LMAO@ dilousion some multis? all of it was read over it again
LMAO @ klink haha! try using multis..for one its a love song 2 its all multis just some are off and 3 you need a lesson on somthings aswell please....feel free to hit me up if you need beef or want some ill battle who ever.....Aim : Sick barS Masta tight flow...nice over all best ive seen you need a audio see how it sounds over beat...just work on ya courses a lil more but over all real nice kid 8.8 over all out of 10 best ive seen from you keep it up.....one.1.wun |
lol...Well Thanks For The Feedback So Far...Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreciated, Thanks.
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