Nightmares
 

I'm unprepared haunted by mercyless demons
Leaving me in aginy my soul itself is screaming
Trapped in a fantasie of the devils hate children
I can't adapt to visons of how people killed 'em
Although I close my eyes I see the lost flesh
Ghost asking my dreams to resurect death
Minds losing piece by piece by lose of sleep
I was a rose from concrete now a lost sheep
My peddles falling my medow is a graveyard
Hearing souls calling think it was braveheart
All because of the scene my mind repeats
Over and over of sleeping with dead beats
Fetish to see beyond normal who now dwell
Help comunicate with souls trapped in hell
Struggle in my mind why this painful torture
Did I do something to provoke the dead culter
Is this a blessing to talk to souls from the past
A gift a chance to break the obscene glass
Closing my eyes is dandersous or so it seems
The devils work? Or god like angel like beams
While I sleep I can't answer different questions
Tryen to understand dead is my godly lessons
Theres no bliss while i'm asleep i'm worried
For am I even alive or actually really burried
All in all thus does not matter but i'm gifted
My resting curiosities I vow to keep restricted
They ask me questions of how tobe reincarnated
Jeezus has spoken to me an why god retaliates
With thunder from the oceanly sky
Every drop of rain another human dies
Crazy I can hardly believe it myself
Horryfing me it's preventing my good health
I'm losing hold of my bodily control
Let the spirites free why am i consoled
Leaving me sweating grasping for air..
Good and evil trapped in my mind..im scared
Unprepared i'm losing my thoughts of christ
Blood over love I hate my p.m to a.m life
Trully believe i encounter the spirites of god
Who didn't make it hell or heavon lost in the fog
I pray that these souls be free sent up stairs
For i'm dieing in my sleep....
From these Unimagineable Nightmares

"With thunder from the oceanly sky
Every drop of rain another human dies"

i really lloved this line, i felt this peice wasnt all it could have been and it in itself seemed restricted even when it shone brilliantly like the aforementioned line, sad its being slept but at the same time a little dissapointing, but definetely keep dropping, u got my respect, 1luv.

uppen

up

Nice flow to this.. Nice vocabulary, good imagery, and good emotion as well..

"With thunder from the oceanly sky
Every drop of rain another human dies"

I too, liked that part.. it just seemed.. I dont know.. it just grabbed my attention.. I liked this piece. Nice job!

this verse could be improved. but it was tight anyway. the
short flow worked well. the rhymes and vocab was nice. the
images it forced were great. something we can all sort of relate
too. props on this. stay up. keep it tight.
peace

thanks mayn

Goood stuff man
kinda remind me of things in the past I can
relate cuz
Nice stuff man

yo good shit

u made it look easy

good vocab, flow and imagery.

tru talent, keep postin up man

.........................................

yo rule,

this was interrsenting...vocab was great...i got the full picture in my head...nice lines like the one obove quoted by others...over all great joint

kee it up...

peace

uppen

i love this..and i like the phrase you added to tupac's..as well as the same quote from posted above..great imagery, i could see and feel what i was reading and it had a very powerful message that i can relate to...if only i could display it the way you have..this was great keep it up...

what about tupac?

u kno..from tupac's poem 'nightmares'..not quite like this.. and a rose from concrete..tupac's other poem i just meant i liked the way you built off of his stuff and it turned out almost better than his..

i didnt build off his stuff i dont even listen to tupac...rose from concrete is a metaphore...i was trying to show struggle...and the title was chosen by somebody else...this was a topical battle piece...but thanks for the responce it was apreciated

NICE...
FRESH...
CLEANCUT...
SMOOTH SHIT...
MUCH POTENCIAL...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

thanks for the feedback every1 it was apreciated

beautiful poem, even though it was sad, it shone out with brilliance and creativity. every line had a message, every line was well thought out. great poem, with ure talent i dont think i even have to engarouge u to keep wrting, im pretty sure u know how much skill u got already. gotta say it again great poem.

thanks that means a lot pz