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Love you,Hate you
Remember our love - High Class
Seizure - Skiddz The Prophicy - Wogzta INFO: This is a story tellin peice which I wanna record when I get the chance. I know I'll get critised bout vocab coz I always do but I didnt focus on that I just wanted to tell the story. It's full song lyrics so it might seem long but in audio it wouldn't. Chorus - Singing The more you, put me through, the more I fell in love with you... So I love you, but I hate you, these feelins, make me feel so blue... What should I do, coz right now, I'm sad, but I'm happy... Coz your presense, it really grabbed me, but you've backstabbed me... Verse 1 - Rappin Girl it's sick, the way you treated me like shit... But I couldnt predict, it would get as bad as this... And I miss, me and you together always, us... But lust, broke the trust so now the friendship is crushed... So now I must move on and only have you as a memory... Coz us fightin hurts me, so close again we cannot be... Coz see, I dont wanna go through this again... All this pain, it's insane, all the mind games... Things will just remain the same, yes it's sad but true... When I speak to you, It's clear you hate all I say or do... Chorus - Singing Verse 2- Rappin Sometimes I hate you, do you hate me too? Good... Ya should, I would if it was you rubbin my face in the mud... This was true love and I bet your sick of hearin it all the time... Every line, song, lyric or rhyme tells our story... Coz you ignored me when I went out with you one night... Since then all we seem to do is fight, and my head aint right... So when I wake to the mornin light, I just wanna leave you behind... Find a new soulmate and put you to the back of my mind... I wrote this to unwind and realise that the peices to the puzzle never did fit... Now I finally understand that when you said you knew me you never knew shit... Chorus - Singing Verse 3 - Rappin Oh why did we let these feelins die, I dont understand it, so I wont try... And I wont cry, instead, all I'm gonna say is fuck you... The moods you threw, the voodoo and all you put me through... These feelins aint new, and I know the situation wont change... Coz we've both been upstaged which adds to my rage on this page... But now the demon's out it's cage so no matter where you run I'll be there... Like a nightmare, layin the truth bare just so your aware... That you made my heart rip and teare without a care in the world... So we twisted and turned, and hurled ourselves into this mess... Coz you were the #1 girl, but now your 2nd at the very best... Chorus - Singing All feedback is appreciated Peace!!! |
Yo fam, this was tight. All though the third verse was not as good as the others. The reading makes you sound liek Eminem a lil. The chorus was iight. I got the story, so dont worry about that. And I understand what you mean about the vocab. Besides, I really dont pay attention to voacb, but what the pice would sound like fo real. Anyway, this was in all a good piece. 7/10
Return the favor/. http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96992 |
Sound like eminem!!!....I'm sure people will call me a stan for that. Eventho I wrote this bout me.
I wanna mak that clear for anyone who make a point bout eminem |
^^^ lol I was just sayin. No need to take it as offense
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I didnt....I didnt mean that to you. I meant it to everyone else whos gonna make a point out of it like camarac always does
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haha that wasnt the best thing to say after that thread camarac posted but newayz i liked this heaps actually...kinda suprisin considerin i dont like raps wit love in it but nah that was pretty awsome |
This rhyme was tight. I liked the concept and how you kept my attention through-out. I know how you feel about loss causes but there should have been more to add to the story. You could add some more lines to the verses. The third verse wasn't as good as the first two, but it was a tight rhyme. Keep up the good work. It would def. be cool to hear some audio of this track.
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yeah i agree this was a good piece here....enjoyed the read...everything seemed good in this...except in the 2nd verse your last 2 lines were kinda stretched out, but it was still good though....your chorus was pretty good i thought...overall this was a good piece i thought, keep at it.
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Ok thanks for all the comments.....keep 'em comin
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good flow ryhmin and topic
good emotions or how u worded it out not too bad chorus either gotta hear it actually sung though .................................................. ........... |
Yeah like I said I wanna get it recorded so people can get a real feel for it
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dis was a nice joint
good topic it flowed nicely would be a nice audio 8/10 |
Thanks
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We holdin it down hommie. This was a good topic, and had a consistant flow. Nice lookin rhyme scheme, didnt lay lazy on it...
Maybe work no ya vocab a little bit, but thats about it. This was a good drop fam. Keep this going hommie... 8.5 / 10 OUT -High Class a.k.a Confusion |
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shits tight holmes... Its easy to feel cause I been through the same type of shit with my ex recently... Im sure most everyone here has...
"And I miss, me and you together always, us... But lust, broke the trust so now the friendship is crushed..." illness man... |
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that was a great read, i liked the vocab becuz it would be easier to say on an audio..i think...the emotion was great you had a lot of good emotions and thoughts in this,....keep it up pz
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Thanks dawg......up
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I thought this was tight to man fo real ..........I liked all the fuckin like well like you put youre heart into it thats all dat matters and I liked the accual flow to ...............I think the only thing wrong was some spelling.keep it up
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Somebody point out the spellin mistakes for me^^
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tight..very happy to see this..made me think a lil...good vocab..flow was pretty good...8/10..
good job dawg.. Peace |
son, youve uped this thread 13th times
.....let go |
Aight yo here we go....
I ain't gonna be an asshole so don't take this wrong, the verses and all was ill, but your structure needs work, you used multies good here and there but you need to come with more to doctor the flow when you gotstra stretch them bars...Multies and internals will fix that. Also yer verses were way to short, that would make a minute and a half audio if you were lucky, you never know how much of a difference it makes till you spit it, but even if you spit to a slow beat your still gonna come out with a short song beacause of you structure and it looks a lot longer than it sounds, trust me, I have a mixtape out and the first song I did I was like WOW! 32 bars is only like 45 seconds? WTF? you know what I'm sayin? anyway, just make your verses twice as long and it'l be ill, I think, and those internals and multis I talked about...ppeace yo, keep up the good work |
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