Feeble vs Realist
 

topical battle: topic: return to grace.
dont go above 25 lines please, or much above ne way.

in...due date
way in the future...like Dec 11
cool?

As i collect my pad and pen, and exchange my notes
& reflect on the past, in my mind arranged in quotes
i realize, through the few years i've lived, those hurt
& they return to my grace, in my journal, note worth
written in stone, or so it seems, more like mild wood
return to grace, and the struggle through childhood
friends i lost, hopes for popularity: every mans wish
and to be good in her eyes, but never a damn kiss
& i famish, over everything long gone, its a vain hope
a consistent put down, & always want grace roped
wrote words, once that placed disgrace, upon others
theyre my brothers, forgive, forget like fond mothers
theres many i've done this to, i'd like to run it through
we all have people we love - and theyre one with you
whats happened past, theres another event in store
from vicious enemy, foe or friend, either against or for
every event, however, has an affect, bent in image
from boyhood dreams to realizing friendships limits

Return to Grace

As people file into the theater a man sees a striking woman by the stage. He approaches her and starts to think about how to impress her.

There are many ways today to woo a lady
It’s plain to see, habitually they speak to me
But what shall we converse about, seduction
I mustn’t tell her my plans, I need an introduction

A woman is approached by a handsome man. He introduced himself and by his body language it is obvious that he is more interested in her figure than her personality.

What is he thinking, love is not childsplay
Is sex all that men thinks about these days
Double talk in weird way, hidden agenda
His eyes fix on my jersey, never look at Canada

A few causal observers see the way the man and woman interact.

The body language from both is well spoken
He lacks a poker face, motives are wide open
Stands with a proud chest and shoulders back
Despite his best, she refrains from his contact

The man sees that his advances are being rejected. He will give it one last try before he admits failure.

Why my lady, are you by yourself at this ball
I can provide you with a seat before final call

Next action was responded with a turn of heads
He kissed her, her face flushed then turned red
She made him leave with his tail between his legs
Staying was beneath his dignity, he left instead
He left without a trace, no one ever saw his face
With his brash action he needed a…return to grace

Feeble - nice vocab, good imagery, you really grasped this concept well, wordplay was dope...what else can i say man much props...dictation was nice you worded it very nicely

Realist - you suck...lol jk...i knew you were good at topicals but you surprised me with your wordplay this time...beautifull imagery...great creativity...flawless sense of topic...much props

vote - realist due to edging out in wordplay and creativity

eh whatever... polls emerges vote..

realizes there is no pol...

this was a good topical........i liked both verses very much......i'm unable to poll vote but whatever......

i liked realists story line type deal.......and your wordplay was also exceptional...........

feebles flow and metas and shit were impressive......but thats normal........wordplay was good, but just not ass good as realists......both structures were flawless.......as well as both flows.......i honestly couldnt pick a winner.........
but i'd say feeble.......he hinted toward the topic more often......and the story jawn took away from realists verse......

vote - would b feeble

i scopped this battle today and i came back, cause i thought it was really ill...Both of you have great creativity....i think the way you both approached the subject matter was awesome...i really think its hard to vote, even though no-poll...i still think its a tie, since both were so different and impressive on all accounts...wordplay...structure was great something i have to learn....

awesome shit dawgs...

i have battle on if you would like to peep and vote honestly

hard battle to choose from....honestly the topic of choice was shit..lol....but....here's how i see this....Feeble stayed with the right concepts and had a better structure and flow.....Realist came with more originality....he stayed more on topic...and spoke the truth in some parts....for example..



BREAKDOWN
Flow - Feeble Minded
Vocab - Tie
Structure - Feeble Minded
Originality - The Realist
Emotion - Feeble Minded
Creativity - The Realist
Consistency With Topic - The Realist
RhymeScheme - The Realist
Overall - hard choice like i said....but i think Realist edged this with his creativity and consistency of the topic.....don't get me wrong....Feeble had good shit too....but Realist got it....no hate to either of u...just a vote...

Vote - The Realist

peace
4:20

upping
Realist 2
Feeble 1

smoka, the whole point of a topical verse is to tell what you think thru the verse.. of course its gonna be the truth. ur vote makes no sense. :)

he meant the lines i said were honest truths about todays society.... i think

Both very nice pieces indeed....Feeble i had a interesting feeling while reading your piece...i cant even explain it...The structure was there the words were there......The realist i loved the way you went about the piece and WOW how this could happen to any of us men out there....

Vote= The realist

I think you had more originality, i saw more of an edge to your piece...possibly sweeter to my eyes and easier to embrass....

very nice on both reads..

-1-

feeble your verse was okay, i liked the topic you did well for the way you pursued it.. the realist you were dope.. i thought it was really funny cuz i could see myself doing that.. :( but you came with brash originality i didnt really like this line,
Double talk in weird way, hidden agenda
His eyes fix on my jersey, never look at Canada
seems forced..
but other then that.. the realist gets my vote..

Double talk in weird way, hidden agenda
His eyes fix on my jersey, never look at Canada

i apologize for that line....it was more than forced...it just sucked!

DAMN Close Shit
Props To Ya Both

::BreakDown::
Creativity- The Realist
Flow- Feeble
Structure- Tie
Vocabulary- Tie
Originality- The Realist
Stuck To The Topic- The Realist

Overall Vote: The Realist

It Was A Close Battle
Really Enjoyable
Props To Ya Both
But I Thought The Realist Edged It Out
I Was Feelin His Style More Than Feebles
But It Was A Really Close Battle............

VOTE GOES TO -The Realist-::D::D::D

This was a real good battle here...really enjoyed both peoples verses, both made good reads..

Flow: Feeble
Structure: Both
Vocab: Both
Creativity: Realist
Wordplay: Both
Consistincy: Realist

This was a really good topical battle but i think The Realist came better, it was a real close one but The Realist takes this in my opinion, Props To Both Of You.

The Realist - 6
...::ËMËRGË::..., SmokaJoka666, deacon, Speek.E.Z., ILLunatic, Masta C

Feeble Minded - 1
-Technician-

This poll is closed

Good battle Feeble, if I ever got off my lazy ass we should collab
Someone close this please