Attendance
 

Everyday he shows up, and it seems his life is more unforgiving,
Should he blow up, his mind is sizzling, wife isn't at all kidding,
She'll leave him,times a giving,everyday his mood swings shifting,
from bad to worse, he's givin it his all, his boss won't let it up,
He's getting ready for the fall, anguish repeats itself like a hiccup,
His back is against the wall, as if his minds in his own stick-up,
Fellowships his own,ones life is full of strife, lost in another zone,
Can't even be entered by his wife,wounds that can't be sewn,
Healing is a lost process, his wife and boss also having an affair,
So now he's lost death out of his concious, they're not aware,
That he knows,only noise heard between their moaning are crows,
Suppose,they'd die,none would find out,stop to his highs and lows,
So the objective in his minds been played out, here it now goes,
KAAPLLOOWW!!, KAAPLLOOWW!!, sounds of the shotgun blow,
No more showing up to work, no more showing up to his home,
Thats the last day of his perfect attendance record, free to roam,
One shotgun shell left, hes cases hims own life into his own tomb,
KAAPLLOOWW!!

3 people
LoCo
Potent
Cam

Nice drop Relik. This was pretty dope, I mean, theres always death somewhere along the lines of recent open mics, but you seemed calmed and had a different approach to it. Good shit.

thanks, uppin for some more responses

alright anyone of u hoes willin to peep this???? i see 18 ppl looked, but can someone dro psomethin. hoes.

..Hmm..nice...I like your wordplay...good flow too...8/10..^^

ok, any thing more...indepth

hoes??

NIIIIIIIIIIIICE, I REALLY LIKE THIS ONE DOG.SIMPLE AND SO RELEVANT. I'LL BE SEEING YOUR MORE OFTEN.

i liked it man.it was an interesting piece.very creative and a different perscpective not often seen.flow was off at some points other than that it thought it was tight.welldon.

do me a favour and drop a vote at this battle...............................


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=98116

thanks uppin for more pipple

It was a decent piece, imagery and content
were both fairly good i thought. You stuck to
the topic and hand quite nicely, the flow was
off for me though, each one seemed to be 2
syllables out, its only a minor thing, but flow
does actually work in text . . and it will read
better to the reader if you give it a nice flow.
But yeah, the transition's were decent, kept
my attention throughout it .. it was worded
fairly well, the only thing i didn't really enjoy
was how you rounded it off. The whole 'gun'
idea didn't seem that well thought out to me,
but aside from that this was felt. Nice piece..
short and yet to the point.


Props.

i liked the piece..
early multis set the tone and u gave a good imagery in the piece
it showed a fast decline in the kids life which was good
but i wudda like to see him live lol..
anyways good overall piece..
Vocab was also nice pz

lol thank u thank u real replys, i love u guys lol, word.

i wonder if i forgot my 3 ppl masta c would review this ... Masta, where ya at???

hoes, reply, come on masta c ur not bein a good mod!!!