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RSTL Verse For The Picture Week
 Born unable to speak, he put his Heart Into Sketches No vocal Pallette, and so he'd use his Artists Perspective to Chart his Aggresion .. a Means to Release His Anger Yet His Final Portrait left critics at some what of a Cliff Hanger The meaning placed behind it was never Revealed or Seen so this is my interpertation on what this picture Means to Me . . . His inner Child walks the Stomach's Lining Afraid and Hopeless Silently Sweeping his Secrets Beneath a Wave of Emotions Attempting to Stay Focused as the pressure's Teathing his Mind and Crashing Lightning interrupted the Cleavage Of The Skies the Heathen's Opened Wide .. he Breathed a Sigh of Disbelief As he Doubled Back, Awestruck at the Sight He'd Seen the Lightning Ceased at that moment, something was Reaching Out Suddenly two Glaring Eyes had appeared Beneath the Clouds Piercing Down on the Youth, it's mouth Opened to say Something He realised it was His Conscience speaking to him From With In . . . "Listen to what i tell you, as i won't Say This Twice These portrait's were All Leading Up to you Paying The Price and Taking Your Life inevitably, as Depicted In This Painting With your Back To The World and the Distance Fading Plus you feel Caved In .. shown by Your Hostile Surroundings The Low Sky, Closing Ocean and Colossal Mountains. but you've Lost It Now & there's Tears on Saddened Faces As your Work's Admirers see your Death as a Talent Wasted It seems Faced With constant critics, & a Deficiancy of Speech Led you into a Bout with Depression, leaving you Mentally Weak the Abstract Scenes you depicted were actually Due To Ya Madness This wasn't a Brush with Death, it was Suicide On The Canvas" Peace. |
Links, incredibly attractive and intelligent mod:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=99072 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=99115 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=99001 |
Hmm...pretty dope.
I see that you are taking a new poetic side of writing and it is evident, It was a little simple, but it implied great thinking into it. A pretty dope piece I must say. I especially loved how you closed the piece...it leaves you on a note to think about this. Nice piece. |
word to my one dope fucking reply
rapbattles stays ill w. the responses, yo |
I like this style of writing. It made more sense to me than the other shit I read.
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why du post battles and open mics from other sites???
it was a nice piece but why????? the strcture is wot got me coz it built nicely w/ the flow thru the piece.. and you had good vocab that strung the verse in a strong way.... |
I wont lie to you, if i write ANYTHING here, the same regular shit stabbers will hate on it and post a reply saying it's shit out of spite. Secondly, i do nothing for this site now. Havent for month's and don't intend to any time soon. Im here till i get 6K then im giving the name to either Potent or G.Hod and they can do what the fuck they like with it.
Roll on 6k .. |
...I like your style..it has deep meaning to it...I think you are an excellent writer...I guess to get postive feed back you must start killing niggas in your rhyme...LOL!!!!!!!!1
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^ Consider ive been here since late 00 .. almost four years .. you don't think ive already done that? Battlings boring to me. Nothing but the same concepts flipped over and over again .. it's old.
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this shit's on 99.9% of the crap posted in here right now - dont fucking sleep
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dope.
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Real nice, Cam...
I didn't get near the same interpretation as you did from that... But not everyone is suppossed to see things the same. Nice piece, only slightly simple with your vocab. Good structure and flow. Great imagery. Meaning was kinda blah, but only cuz I disagree. I don't see it as his conscience in the pic... I see it as "God" taking notice that you are shortcutting through life. Perhaps judging. Maybe there's a slight similarity. But I didn't see death anywhere. Just a Big Brother type of thing. 7.50/10 Peace... And peep Asylum if you get the chance! |
I agree with everyone else..it was simply 'DOPE'.. enough said..
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Quote:
took the words right out of my mouth... cept i'd up the the score to bout 8.5/10.. dope man |
fuck them gay replies yo
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^^dope name.....lol
anywayz....this piece is truely dope.... the style is different but it works.... vocab and lyrics were tight and flow was nice.... this is clever cos itrelates to the picture in everyway and dus work with the picture..... the way you described it, in poetry as well, was truely dope.... this is prolly' one of da best pieces i've read on rb.... maybe cos it wud b so difficult to write anything about da pic but wot u came up wit is mind blowin.... this is hall of fame shit..... stay up playa.......................................peace |
^ Haha .. you've never seen me write before ? Like .. a month ago i owned RB legends here ..
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uikjyu
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I liked how this turned out. It is somthing I like to read, it grabbed my attention real well. You had a consistant flow, it felt like a poem, but it stayed a flow to me. You put your words in the right places, good work on that. I liked what you did with this, it was a nice read hommie...
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camarac is great ..
this piece just embraced that label .. i will edit in a more detailed reply later on .. =P .. actually i most likely won't .. but you know it was good .. your one of the greatest writers online aside from some kids in rstl and me .. but that changes piece to piece .. good job man . |
^ Exactly. That's why i joined up for the RSTL matey-o! I made top 40 last week, and ima be in the RSTL topical tag tourney, then when it gets back into a normal league, im gonna try pushing further up the league ranks - top 20 is what im aiming for.
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