1977- My First Topical plz rate 1-10
 

1977-

when I look to the sky,I wonder why my tears dont cry/
are they lost in lies,lost in despise of the wisemens lines from behind/
my eyes,minds twisted up a vision of so a called Heaven/
so I go to infinit from my incision in seventy-seven/


1977,the year my life was blessed from Heaven/
pops got to steppin,pops in my head was laid to rest then/
its a hard lesson,it started a heart of second guessin/
for the rest of life stressin,not to mention the tension that came to set in/
from Moms,blow jobs for johns with no clothes on/
always gone,dope in palm singin the song of right gone wrong/
not understandin,had hate for God cause I know He planned it/
straight left me stranded,empty handed man damn I'm branded/
with fatal sicknesses,from cradle been known to do the sickest shit/
a relentless kid,murderous intensions while bent-invent the sickest spit/
nothin can help,thats why I stay confined inside myself/
done cried whats left,died and came back two times like tribe called quest/
its forever flowin,and constantly growin-where-ever I'm goin/
I've been severin and sewin,deliverin bows-endeavourin lows and/
comin off often hypocritical,they had the coffin locked but I slid it forth/
past a kid at four,I've already walked ya'lls talk come see what I did it for

uppin^^^^^^^^^^

dope!!!You have some good rhyme's in this.Nice structure,good flow, overall a nice drop..where you born in 1977?damn i was born nearly 10 years after you.....

lol...i think im older than 90% of the cats here...any way thanx for the feedback...it does not go un-appreciated...1

^^^^^^^^^uppin^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

SLEEPERZ suck

all view but no reply

that probly how most you fagots get yer rhymes

not intended for none sleepers

lmao^^^ wow, i'm really feelin this piece, nice flow and descriptive vocabulary, and you set the scene up nicely, great content as well, your closing line was dope,,,,"come see what i did it for"....some good shit man,,,,,and there are some older heads on the site,,like me,well, i'ma year younger then you...lol

yo this one is iight better then other one u wrote

yo...thanx for the feedback...i was uppin this piece so hard cause its like the only piece i have with 100% truth to it...F/M thanx for the "Real" feedback...1



^^^^^^uppin^^^^^

^^^^^^^^^^uppin^^^^^^^^^^^

ayo good shit hommie, i was feelin it... keep up the good work dawg!!! you definatly put some feeling into it!

return some feedback on the open mic in my siggy! thanks man

daaaaaaaaaaamn that was hot for real u had some good ass words n it flowed...u got some TALENT im impressed

mos def...thank you all for the positive feedback...ima get to peepsiz shit here tonight a lil later and reply to all those that feeded me back...1 love

nice peice not bad for ur first topical 6/10

oops also man u need to fix ur structure..werd