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Abstrakt Vs. Babylon
.::Rules::. 20 Line Minimum 30 Line Maximum No Crew No Hate No D/R Checks Due By 8-20-04 Spits Due By 8-22-04 Votes Due By 8-25-04 Topic: HellBound Good Luck To Both! ~R~ |
Checking In...
.One. .........(Have To Have More Then 50 Characters)......... |
checkity check check...................................
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*Running Threw The Fields*
Feel The Miles Of Wheat Fields Pass Under My Bare Feet As I Neel, Yield To The Lack Of Air Blocking The Care Free One's Long March, Starved Of Success Yet I Still Shuv On Can't Stop Long, Moving Aloft The Obstacles That Come Strong Run Hard With Tunes Of Freedoms Melody Ina Sung Song I Freeze In Place, Feel The Dawns Due Break Dry Pace, Its Great Double Take, See Daybreak Humbled By Red And Pink Haze As They Take To Brush Faint Scenes To Cuddle Skies With Paint Look Ahead And Move Onward Toward A New Step Forward Step From Hatereads Horror Into Freedoms Sheltered Harbor *Take A Break, Lost In Thought* Just 21 More Miles But I'd Run So Many More To Find My Soul Not Even A Real Man While Another Hand Forces My Goals "Pick That, Have This By Then" Fuck "Lift That And Then..." No More Of This Crap I'll Be My Own Man, Till My Own Dam Land But What If I Dont Make It, Struck Down At The Streets Bank, Done My God The Payments I Would Pay With Would Leave Me Bankrupt What To Believe? The White Man Tells Me If I Leave I'm Hellbound But Momma Used To Preach How If We Fallow Our Dreams I'm Well nDoud But Now I Question, With What Methods Should I Invest In Fearing Hells Essance Dancing Across My Feet As I Begin Stressing *Have To Keep Moving* Jump Up And Wipe Off My Tears, Miss One As If Falls Like My Years Charging Threw The Fears, But Still Stumped As To What Time Nears The Dawn Of Hells Painfull Eternity Or Heaven Angels At One With Me? Please God Asnwer Me Soon In These Days Of Unsertainty *Stops To Re-Group* LORD NO! I've Been On Roam The Past Hours Now I Know Not Where To Go I'm Lost, Dont Even Remember The Way Home, "Oooh, That I Should Know!" Now I Know My Path Is To Grasp His Almight Satanist Pal-ace If God Was At This Shoulder How Could I Have Failed This? *Dogs Barking* They've Come Now, Know Of My Escape, As I Fell Down And Smell The Ground I'll Miss The Sent, Just With That Though The Dogs Held Down... The Answer Is Clear Now, I'm Just Another Slave No More Then Hellbound. |
GOD DAMMIT!!!...
I Thought The Verses Were Due Today... I Rushed To Get This Dam Piece Finished... Fuckin Christ, Daym He's Prolly Got It Now... .One. .................(Have To Have More Then 50 Characters)................... |
....................................just a dream.....................................
I close my eye's and quietly enter this silent slumber my heart soon slows... to a pace of a far mild thunder I wonder.... and dream thoughts of such greatness but soon shinning light becomes dark and I come to hate this words like scare afraid and fear seep into my mind and it becomes clear that sleep is not what I came to find but a type of darkness... screams of pain that seem so heartless but regardless... of my shivers my body still charges I move forward toward a heat that cant be simply measured soon.. my limbs become bloody, gory, and weatherd my skin wrenkles.. and seems to slide as I strongly stumble the thick darkness tightens around and calmly rumbles with sounds of screechin voices.. pulling at my ears the sounds of pain, anger, and hunger.. building up my fear I drop to my knees and scream to the highest mountains then I see a light that shows clouds and sights of fountains I through my arms in air and litteraly reach for the heavens my eye's glance apon a seele that multiplys into seven and one by one they start to break into many peices suddenly I notice the silence and that shreeking seaces old memmories of sunday school creep up and down my spine those teachings of the judging that god will give in time confront me to my face and I become mentaly disfigured and living a life of hate.. so is that what this triggers is this fate or a lesson.. and soon I begin to question is god telling me I'm finished or is this just a slight suggestion my head begins to spinn.. and I can hardly stay awake thoughts of these illusions.. and reachin a certain fate as i close my eyes I feal them open.. so what is it i've seen and soon I realize i cant be hellbound cause it was just a dream just thought I'd right to this topic to make a point........ that when we git scared were regretfull.....but once we're safe we dont care.........but mabe thats just me.... ~1~ p.s. I wanted to go like 50...but...the limits 30....sorry |
Abstrakt- Your concept was nicccceee, I was feelin it. Good rhyme scheme, vocab, flow, you had a really good overall verse.
Babylon- Your verse was good too, you had an alright concept, the ending was maaaaaaad predictable though. The verse had alot of detail, witch i thought was good. Your rhyme scheme could've been better, you made up for it with vocab, but still, rhyme scheme's important. Overall I think whoever orginized the matchups shouldn't of matched these two together, seeing that these were the 2 best verse's I've read in the tourny so far, one of them shouldn't be knocked out of the tourny first round. Still, there has to be a winner so... V/ Abstrakt |
abstrakt~that was a real nice piece, vocab and really most aspects were dope
babylon~even though u had a predictable ending it was still real nice, ur vocab and flow was good and it was a real detailed story yea these were some real dope verses and a hard choice so i gots 2 say... v/ babylon |
Ayo, To That Kid Who Gave Me A Vote...
You've Gotta Poll Your Vote... Cuz Right Now It's Doing Nothing... And Babylon, Real Nice Drop Mayn... That Kid Was Right When He Talked About Us Being Matched Up... But Itsawl Good... .One. |
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says i gotta have 200 posts to do the poll... aint my fault
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I'll Add Your Vote To The Poll.... Abstrakt Your Structure Is Horrible.....Fix Up Your Verse It Looks Like Shit and It Makes Your Verse Horrible To Read. Your Emotion Was Aight....But Your Direction Is So Played...Its Like You Follow The Same Direction In Every Spit You Do. GET SUM CREATIVITY!! Just Use Your Mind To Elevate...You Got Potential. Babylon Nice Verse...Your Direction Was Also Kinda Played but You Switched It Around and Had Nice Emotion Threwout. Nice Structure and Flow To Your Verse. Just Get Sum Nice Vocabulary and Word Usuage and You'll Be On Your Way. Vote - Babylon ~R~ |
Blaaaah, Fuck That...
Keep Hearing About My Structure But No Ones Actually Tells Me What To Fix... That Doesnt Help At All... And How Was My Direction Playd???... The Topic Was Hellbound, If I Did The Usual Then I Would Just Said I Killed Someone In The Streets And Now I'm Sorry About It... How In Any Way Is My Shit Playd???... Whatever Though... Upping... .One. |
eh close battle both had dope verses..
Ab-good verse....kinda different than hellbound but thats good............nice verse overall Bab-good verse ike how you worded the transformation ending wask indda blah but still good............ v/ Bab cuz his had a message I realized and as pretty good one at that and jsut al ittle better |
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