! Aisle 5 vs Token !
 

Word.

Up.

Easy to please, fascinated by anything that catches my eye
I grabbed my keys, and then headed over to shop at Best Buy
Cuz it was Christmas time and I had yet to spend a dime
And I know what kinda image it implies, but thats no matter
Because it's all behind, so I started the car on a full bladder
The road seemed like a potential disaster, so I drove even faster
To avoid and accident and shit. . but finally I calmed down a bit
But traffic got even worse, I held my head in my hand sighing
A semi swerved into my lane w/ a sticker asking "Hows my driving?"
My allergies and headache were arriving, call it tough luck
I felt my hands shaking, so I lit a ciggarette and puffed
I felt like I had enough, but I can't let the shit get to my head
Then I noticed this dope Mustang. . to get a good look I sped
And then, I noticed it's bumper sticker with very small writing
So I got up beside it, the petite font seemed warm n' inviting
Me and my conciense began fighting, fuck the laws I was breakin
A foot behind the car, I struggled to read and began shaking
Finally! I made out the text - "If you can read this you're tailgating"
It was too late, I quickly looked above at the lights overhead
They went from green..... to orange, but I sped as it hit red
Car got demolished, maybe my price for speeding better yet
I thank God for watchin over me, and I'm glad I wasn't dead
I still remember. . the bumper sticker on the car before fainting
And it read. . "Have a very special holiday season. . and drive safely!"

Key'd 24 lines at midnite, dope!

Key'd in less than 20 minutes!

Doper!

Exit: Funny Mode
Enter: Deep Mode

*clears throat*

One early morning.. Rushing to get to work before I was late
There was just one car stoppin me with a foreign license plate
I was fucked.. stuck behind him for nearly an hour
Wierd thing is..
.. Everytime I looked near his tag I felt power
I started getting shaky.. So I just Tried to ignore this feeling
Suddenly I saw in my head.. an image of myself kneeling
And praying.. But I could not make out what I was saying
My senses were numb, Like my brain and body were rough playing
I felt like my gut was decaying.. I didn't know what to do
So through the traffic I flew.. Till suddenly this feeling grew
My heart started racing, My knees were weak and my face was sweating
I lost thought of where I was heading.. I barely remembered forgetting
Without thought I turn my head across the street where I had just came
Sparked flames and a desperate man trying to keep his car maintained
My head is spinning.. All dizzy breathing heavily.. Barely swallowing
All I see is sirens, debris, and the car that I had been following
I reach for my cell phone to report this accident to the police
But as I dialed for some reason all my symptoms seemed to decrease
I hung up the phone, slowly walked torwards the horrific scene
Looked down at the back and could barely see through the smoke and the steam
And I read "If it's not death.. Your problem can be solved.." My lips quivered
My tears formed a river
..It's a shame I had to learn my lesson from a bumper sticker

*Aisle = a slut*


I conclude..

That token is a dope writer, and he got mad potential for writing good topicals = )

But Aisle , had the winning hand here, ..with just the better internals, ..and wordplay with a real nice flow to it, ..

Token props to u , = ) i really enjoyed ur piece, ..& i luv u ..but he took u on this one..olso props to aisle, cuz i was gettin into ur story aswell..sigaret line was real dope..

Enjoyed both, but felled aisle's more,..= )

Keep it up ya'll

Westsiddddddde!

Vote = Aisle..

Didnt think that , ..was a nice story, & i was gettin in to it..


But im stoned, so i like siggie smoke

Token i love u..

Up^

yo...im knew to this site...were do i go to battle...

lol... Front Lines. Post a callout in Bitch Slapped.

It came down to personal preference i guess .. but i was feeling Token's more .. just came off deeeper as i read it .. got into the topic well .. grasped it slightly better .. was a decent piece .. short but simple from both sides .. but i felt Token took it. He came off the better of the two in more area's .. got it overall i felt.

Vote: Token

1-1 Upping. .

Blaow!

Interesting, huge contrast in the pieces...

But i prefered Aisles, it was a good piece and kept me reading, seemed exactly like a real life scenario, like a movie or someshit.
You know when your ead something and you get a little film that starts moving in your head? yea thats what i ahd with Aisles.
Tokens just seemed....... hard to explain as Cam said it comes down to personal taste wether you like funny or deep.

I prefered funny today, and thats why my vote goes to Aisle good pieces guys, stay up =)

vote - aisle five

his made a little bit more sense...i still dont understand how anyone was shaking from a bumper sticker, or feelings 'power', but both of you need to work on multi's in your verses. it was a close one.

keep writing
peace.

^ Think spiritual.

*shakes head*

I'm going to ask everyone else to read my verse twice.. Seeing as you obviously don't get it the first time.

:)

Good verse Aisle.

He was shaking because he was so close to the car, not because it was holy or some shit. Don't think too hard man. :thumbup: