Trapped In Hell
 

In dez TIMES DAT I TRY I start CRYIN INSIDE it's OBNOXIOUS-B the SUBCONSIOUS-ME is sorounded by FIRE N LIES of TRYINA HIDE, my ALTER IMAGE I'm DIEN INSIDE better CALL DA CLINIC/

these TEARS OF MY PAIN got me feelin WEARY N PLAIN as they SPRINKLE DOWN ON DIS PAGE I'm THINKEN, HOW AM I SAVED from dis DEMON, POWER N RAGE/

My minds TURNIN TA HELL DAWG trapped deep in my own MURDERIOUS CELL BLOCK do you SEE DA FEAR N DA SCHEMES BRO? that got me sittin here as the INK N MY TEARS FLOWS/

it's gettin clearer, da VOICES I HEAR got me terrorifed from dez demon NOISES N SNEERS these LISTENING-MINDS wit SHIVERING-SIGNS got me freezing brrrr better BELIEVE IT I'M COLD/

this FIRE FROM RAGE crept beneath my soul, got weepin I CRIE IN MY CAGE so I drink, just to EAZE MY PAIN then smoke dro just to try and LEAVE DIS PLAIN/

I'm PUZZLED N SHIT don't know y I GUZZLED A FIFTH then tried HUGGIN A CLIP, real talk that day, all I wanted was to escape OUT OF DIS HELL scared of all dez POWERS DAT DWELL/

in dez TIMES I'M HEARIN SHIT deep in mind I TRIE TO CLEAR IT QUICK I know there lookin in my soul from EYES ON PYRAMIDS it's close i can feel it, these LIES ARE NEARIN QUICK/

It's EVIL DUDE nottins really SEEMIN TRUE but even though I'm ENTRAPPED IN HELL all I can do is try to RELAPSE N YELL/

bump.............

i really liked this peice it had some powerful meaning and rhymed really well... you flowed well for most of the part too.... def. wantin' to see more .. might have to hook up and do a collabo sometime ...

overall - 8.5/10
stay up monkey

^ werd good looks my dude

I think its good and i liked how you capped all the hits up but it might have flowed better to me if it was not like that but overall a nice peice and a complex one also . Good shit. 8/10 nice bra.

^ chea good lookin

shit was actully hot fam...

9/10

good flow, creative material was well exsecuted nice delievery and concept was good...

noting bad really to say about this whole drop...

keep droping them fam nice to see some type of skill's displayed...

2 links or fuck off.

Your rhyme scheme was the strongest point of this, it was consistent and multi packed. The topic was a little introspective and you conveyed what the narrator was thinking pretyy clear. My criticism is your structure, it's fucked up, i looked at it and thought 'oh god, here's a newb to writing who doesn't know... oh wait... actually he's pretty good'. I suggest you space your verses out a line for a line instead of writing continuously and putting a full space between every 2 lines, also quit putting your multi's in capitals, people'll get the rhymes if they read the piece, it looks ugly the way you're doing it. You got the spark of talent man.

Keep posting, keep elavating and please rtf.

werd good looks I'll stay away from capsing my multis and shit lol I'm just from a site that if you don't do that ppl don't read lol but I see ppl actually read on here lol