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-   -   Mista_Auth3ntik vs Whyte Ave. (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=174406)

Compose 01-28-05 01:51 PM

Mista_Auth3ntik vs Whyte Ave.
 
Rules:

Battles Go Up Friday
Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time
Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time
Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time

20 Lines Minimum
40 Lines Maximum

No Biting
No Recycling
Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit
Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines

You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week


Topic: Living a Dream

Whyte Ave. 01-28-05 04:32 PM

checkin in.....

....Gone.... 01-28-05 05:58 PM

Checking In...............

Compose 01-31-05 07:16 PM

mista couldnt post his verse here it is...


Intro- getting ready for sleep


My head felt light headed, so tired by the chores I’ve done
Moon shines above my house, black night covered the sun
Took an hot shower, to feel clean and ready for morning
Brushed my teeth, smelled clean breath, as I yawning
Entered my dark room, turned on my broken lamp light
As my pupil turned from small to big, I see my bed in sight
Still the towel, like an bear hug, wrap around my body
I remove the towel. The same time I felt an cool air hit me
putted on some boxers covering up my private part
Laid on the bed, eyes closed, seeing images, dream starts


Dream-

Saw myself on a Green land, with beautiful blue skies
Air smelled fresh, no despair. Birds flying across my eyes
Feeling so wonderful, I guess it was an effect of the shower
below my feet’s was an beautiful natural sighting of a flower
With its empowered beauty, I look straight and smiled
Walking forward, with happiness, no broke emotion, stayed compile
Walking on a hill, I had to stomp to stay on balanced
Got on the top of the hill, looked, my happiness banished
What I saw I couldn’t breathe, left me speechless
This was more nasty, more poisonus than fecies
Weird creatures, eating the flesh of humans
I was disgust and appalled by the blood fumes
Tried to run, I’d stepped on a tree branch, cause attention
Big yellow eyes, staring at me, I can see my facial reflection
As I Gulped with fear, I got shook, when they’d growled
They’d open there mouths, disgust blood smelled fouled
I’d sprint, leaving them out of sight when I looked back
Something stopped me from running, my bones cracked
As I feel on the ground, looked up, it was a demon that awake
In front of my face, with one slice, My hear went to zero heart rate


Awaked and stuck


I woked up, sweating coming from my pores
I was glad, that there wasn’t green grass on the floor
I got shook when I heard a knock on the door
I felt this pain on my back when my feet’s hit the floor
When I opened it, there was this long hall way
I heard my mom’s voice, it echoed, like a cave
I’d ran, as I did, I hear my foots sound like an rake
The screams got farther, still hoping I can make it
I’d stopped, standing worried, hearing no more screams
Looked around, there’s no way out, I’m “living” a dream

Whyte Ave. 01-31-05 09:38 PM

Winds furiously swirl in the crisp dark night
No escape in the house as the family fights
I run to my room, trying to dodge the doom
Lie on my bed, my heart filling with gloom
I drown out the screams by closing my eyes
And I awake as the sun begins to rise
Filling and giving light to cloudless blue skies
Birds are singing, and morning dew dances on the grass
I think to myself
…finally a perfect peaceful morning at last
There’s a knock on the door, I ask who is there
A cheery voice says
…Breakfast, take your chair
I walk downstairs, everyone with smiles upon their face
I smile back thinking this dream world is the perfect place
Mom and dad show affection, while Sis and I don’t bicker
A breakfast of sheer perfection, but my eyes start to flicker
I hear a loud, painful pounding in the back of my head
Everyone else is un-phased; eating the meal they’ve been fed
I try to shake off this miserable distraction
Sounds of screams then add to the attraction
My family’s voices begin to fade from my ears
And slowly everything around me begins to disappear

I’m alone in a dark room, filled with constant screaming
I awake and it’s my mother, I unfortunately was only dreaming

50Cal. 02-02-05 12:50 AM

ok even on struture flow and vocab and imagery here shit is even straight down on that but one thing seperates this and thats creativity while mista approached the topic from a angle alot of people wouldve whyte went out on a limb and jumped in from another angle and that made his over the hump to get my vote both had good drops and imagery but the creativity made whytes verse better in my eyes
v-whyte ave

Whyte Ave. 02-02-05 03:48 PM

I don't know how to edit these links into my check in

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1935745
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=174405
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=174403

K.ontroverz.Y 02-02-05 11:35 PM

lol Mista took this easily

Whyte your vocab was bad..ur flow was off. and ur structure was horrid. way too short and didnt even match. your imaginary wasnt even good. this was bad...why u evne try?

mista: ur shit was koo i understood ur shyt u stayed on topic. ur flow was dope....and good structure. im feelin dis

overall: vote mista

Whyte Ave. 02-03-05 03:55 AM

^ haha laughs at Kon...I hate you
I didn't have time to write a nice verse...so I did what I could..I keyed that up in 10 minutes..shut up

Compose 02-03-05 08:36 PM

nothing much to vote on unfortunately...atleast you dropped whyte ave. and did what you could under 10 minutes i give you props for showing up...mad people would just not do a verse and noshow...

i dont care about structure in my voting as long as it still flows good with the syllable count and your verse flowed descently for the whole thing but i thought mistas flow was better...in this case mista won all aspects, he put a lot more time and effort into his verse and the end result is his win even though you did do good for under 10 minutes you had some good shit whyte...

vote Mista_Auth3ntik

just make sure to drop really dope your next battle whyte :thumbup:

peace

Hells Fire 02-03-05 11:54 PM

vote goes to mista i think that whyte did a good quick text but he lacked flow, complexity, and structure...i give it to mista i like how he had his set up and the imagry on the dream was good, good flow, and a good structure...I liked your begining and ending good job give ya 7 or 8 outta ten...good drop

DQ 02-04-05 06:06 AM

Mista definately put more effort in his verse and yet, Whyte Ave had good verse to....but in the end, my vote goes to MiSta_AuTh3nTiQ...

MiSta_AuTh3nTiQ: quite predictable approach on the topic, found good balance with your vocab and was also feeling your flow. Structure made it easier to read and the imagery was there to. Emotion was strong but might have tried some more creativity...that's only bad comment I think...

Whyte Ave.: love your approach on the topic, twisted it a little compared to Mista's verse so creativity definately goes to you. Vocab was good, structure decent but your flow was off here and there...Emotion was raw but could've been more complex and indepth but for a quick drop, it's pretty good actually!

DQ

Incineratedrose 02-04-05 02:02 PM

I think that Whyte Ave. took this battle because i could just feel the emotion radiating off of his, like a river. My eyes were just glued to the screen, i didnt get bored at all. it was really good... so yeah, Whyte wins for the emotion and flow aspect....

v/ Whyte

Compose 02-04-05 04:11 PM

Mista_Auth3ntik wins by 3-1 at the end of voting

Mista +4
Whyte Ave. -2


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