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Never Give Up
Never Give Up Bring your words to life and life to your words quitting's despised but giving ups worse dont live all lies tell the truth first there's always time to reveal your curse show to peoples eyes that your pain hurts make them realize your down to earth stay expressed through your art get it off your chest out of your heart god left you blessed he made you smart leave it addressed begin from the start on your feet get up it aint too hard just never give up here's the start |
here's my links: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=220607
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=219953 i know this shit dont have perfect structure but oh well, this my first poem i EVER wrote so try ta be not hatin and leave some decent feed |
Hm, this felt more like a brief write up of pholosophies written in poetry form rather than just a poem. The whole time you were giving advice to the reader rather than tapping into YOUR real emotions. I dunno, so it really wasnt my style being as it lacked alot of nessisary emotion and imagery. But this is only your first... Keep reading other peoples poems to pick up techniques and then keep practising writing and applying the things you learn.
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yea werd thanx for the feed i wasnt tryin ta show MY emotion in this ur right i was giving advice i wanted ta make sumthin someone could look to when they dont know what ta do next like if they have a bad time with motivation they can look at this poem and get tempted ta express themselves but this aint a poem ta look to if u wanna see emotion...anyways thanx for the feed i'll leave a more emotional one next time
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Short yet it had a flow that made sense to me for something with little content,
im sure a poem with a little more thought will enhance the poetical skills what you posted here |
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