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Os1ris vs Lyricalsolja
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checkin in to this dope poetry battle...
...good luck l'solja! |
Check Check.......
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. . . . Life surrounded by the sorrow of others, Death finds the wrong in the story of brothers, Born to breath but life turns its back, More often than not, Crime finds its lover, Death seeks out whom believe, Grim lifes surrounded by roots, Cells like a mans coffie, One sip and its gone like robbing, Shame on whom hits it sloppy, Haymakers take those, Who chain smoke, Roots take doe, And leave em for broke, Rib cages cave in, Tubes drop, Voice shrinks to a whisper, At the site of a cop, Sleep equals peace, But peace equals deciced,......(Dead) In this world of roots, Smoke for long your Dome bails, At the site of a grave yard filled with brain cells. . . . . Thank You For Reading.. |
who is this person I see
I see me in this graveyard ..is death my destiny?? it doesn't scare me I'm ready for my untimely i hear the calls of the land decorated with flowers and gravestones ruled by lost souls silent... you can hear the cries of a 2 year old god oh god! do you hate me? and i heard a cold voice scream blasphemous you! blasphemous you! i feel isolated even demons stray away from me untimely you must come quickly before i go on a rampage too sick to see *Earlier that Evening* who is this I see with eyes afire blazing a hole through the back of my head surely this person isn't me suicidal thoughts run wild through his cluttered mind I scream out "NO" but he Doesn't here me I need to let him know that This just isn't the right time If only our thoughts could Intertwine but he is focused On evil and me the divine I pray while he releases his Emotions in tattered red notebooks Between tiny blue lines I here the words Blasphemous you! Blasphemous you! I cover my ears the voice Is so loud that it sounds as if It is from the very bowls of the Devil indwelt My insides begin to burn and Cold sweat beads begin to chase Each other down the sides of my face My body begins the tremble and I/we Collapse to the floor He killed me he killed himself he killed us While I ascend to heaven and he descends To hell he desperately reaches for my hand what for? turning and shaking my head I mumble Its just to late I cant save the man in the mirror anymore |
ok nice content on the both of u both had their own creative content on these and vocabulary was good to both of u and O damn long but worth reading and LS kinda short but still good as well again this shows who had more creativity and O showed more by having a longer piece but it was so long that it took the content of it way off and i didnt like that so in m opinion i think LS had the better piece cuz he stayed more on topic and stayed simple O was soooo long that it took tha topic a little off thats in my opinion but i still think that u both did good and i liked the both pieces but my
v// goes to LyricalSolja |
Can we get some more votes.....?????
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vote/ Lyrical
Reasoning: Both poems were good...Lyrical had strong emotion and imagery in his and I liked the base idea of the poem, it was really cool, just an all round nice drop. Os1ris, I think you would have taken this if you maybe restructured this a little bit more...to many one word lines and that. Content and that was good, had some emotion, and the twist was nice at the end. but still gotta give it to lyrical |
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