Love at First Site
 

Check this...

An increase of pulsations, my heart's beating faster//
Ceasing my breathing, while walking right past-her//
Unparalleled passion, an instant loss of words//
Surrender my existence if thats the cost of hers//
Can't talk to her, apprehension rising with my every step//
The wings of this angel spreading with her every breath//
Take me away, the destination is hers to choose//
The absence of her presence is the worst abuse//
A split second of expent glances is a gift in itself//
Can't envision spending life with someone else//
The climax impacts upon this very moment, I'm living a dream//
How can someone I've never spoken to mean so much to me//


i dunno...something to think about

peACE

damn...pretty deep...i like the way it's written, fairly simplistic but you kept it pretty dope...good topic to write on as well....one...

Diverse

nice. stayed on point, never lost flow. like diverse said deep stuff. i really think you should add on to this and make it a song. good stuff. stay up

I liked it bro. easy read and pretty simplistic but it's got meaning behind it for sure, some good imagery to.. not much else I can say everything was on point bro, nice topic, keep up peace.

and if u got the time peep my open mic called "Freedom" and leave some feedback, muchly appreciated, thanx in advance.

It was good had real good flow and never got off topic Deep as hell I'm out ONE

....
[nicepeice i have to say
...girl must be special to write something with emotion]
sted of balttle verses
-goodwork]

thanx for the feedback peepz...much appreciated...i thought
about it...and i think im gonna add on 2 more verses to this...
and yea Dao...she is special...thanx again...much appreciation

peACE

Nice drop, my friend...

I can tell ya really young, man...

Old motherfuckers like me have ta actually fuck a chick a few times before we become whipped.

But, dude...

I totally remember times like this verse is relating to.

Shit...

Missy Stevens and Sharon Haro were two babes from my junior high and high school years...

I worshiped the air they breathed...

But never had a single conversation with either of em.

Just head nods and the occasional, "hi" in the halls...

But, man...

I'd have whipped your ass back in the day if ya ever said anything derogatory about em.

That's being young and vulnerable about the heart.

Memories.

yeah that shit was on point ya know wha' i mean everyone can relate to this its something we all feel at one point in life.......good one...................

^thanx man...much appreciation...and yea, most people
have felt like this before...and if not...then they aren't people
peace

you need to reply to three other open mics and post links to your replies in this thread, or it gets deleted.
thanks.

my bad...thanx for telling me...
threads replied to:

Nuclear Concepts
Freedom
Jack

peACE

overall this was a good read simple yet in its depth complex i like the style and the diversity within you got poetic concept in very street format and a view for targeting emotional aspects.i would love to see more material.

Yo, man tha' was some ill shi'...everythin was perfect, a flawless verse if ya ask me...fuckin' awesome....check me n E-Lyrical's verse comin in a couple of minutes...

10/10

Fo Real

--G1

that's pretty good dude..really in depth...good vocab..tight flow..

good job..8.5/10