My Story-new freestyle
 

yo dis is a freestlye of my story,

ayo.....i entered tha game age fourteen/
wit nuthin in my pocket but a dolla bill and a half full canteen/
waitin outiside da studio hopin to be seen/
hopefully get noticed,and enter on real screen/
all dat happened,two years later/
when i had some shoes,and a fancy lighter/
i wus standin ova there on dat street corna/
when a limo came up to me,and pulled ova/
i dindt know who they were,til an hour lata/
theyd heard i was some kid rockin da mike/
keepin it real flippin his tongue like a dike/
they invited me to lunch/
i was so hungry i quickly started to munch/
i jus finished smokin an ounce,they had a hunch/
so they brought me to tha studio/
where i made my debut on da radio/
rappin at commercial breaks,wit some good flow/
thats the first place,i started to glow/
i was a local star,i soon started to know/
started becoming arrogant so i got kicked off/
started fightin fo my life again and a bit o dough/
my career was movin,way too fricken slow/
i went back,asked for a second chance/
they said if i restarted,theyd hire some kid called lance/
so i got my pen and started to write/
songs this time,that started to bite/
but little by little,my game got better/
i soon got a record deal,by word of letter/
i got sent to long beach where my rhymes got smoother/
my debut cd was ready,down came to support me was my mother/
i didnt sell many copies at first and i got discouraged/
then my pop came along and buil up ma courage/
now im hittin platinum/
doin 50 a week on cardboard or aluminum/
i was famous and could now afford rum/
a day started takin 80 tokes/
not once did i choke/
i aint gon forget anyone dat helped me on dis long road/
yall helped me,by following da code/

theres my newest freestyle,tell me what you think.i dont give a fuck bout hater voters. :gfy: i know some of it blows.

oh yeah,none of dis is true,i just made it up sayin it was my story

it was ok...i thought it had basic rhymin...anyways...theres no pretty good or ok in ur polll so ima have to go wit mediocre.

yes, this WAS mediocre
elevate
get a good plot to rap about
get some vocab
and try to find a dope ryhme scheme
thats all I can say

ok.thx for da feedback