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behind your back
these times are really hard i feel broken hearted this girls driving me mad and my soul has departed where do I go i never thought this would blow i thought we were to be but ya left me you hoe and cheated for another guy why did ya lie everything you say you always try to denie i wish u were mine but love is always blind they make ya lose ya mind every single time the pain has taken over our relation ship has gone you've ended everything now n it not me who was wrong i try to say strong put your words have given me feelings i feel so bad without you and thinkin about all the things we've got to no each other you was my only lover the only one that trusted so why am i now to suffer do you even realise the damage u've done wid ya lies its no really surprize dat you were interested in other guys i guess thats what females do everyone always fails you the stress is gettin to me and girls wanna sell you |
This was basic, but I saw where you were going with this. You seemed like you just threw together a few rhyming words though, like ...
and cheated for another guy why did ya lie everything you say you always try to denie That don't make sense, it should be "everything I say" not "everything you say you always try to denie" Flow was quite good. Vocabulary was average. Overall= 6/10. |
Hey bro well this peice was good but it seem flat. When i read it, I want to be able to see a personility in your writting. If it my be jokes, or creative atmosphore. You had ok vocab in this peice so next time try to find new and bigger words to play with. You do a good job with staying on topic and structure. keep up the good work. :thumbup:
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