Clinched Fists
 

Tell me I can't rhyme "cause I'm White(I come wit clinched fists)
Sayin that i ain't gon be full-blown(I come wit clinched fists)
Tellin me i ain't gon be well-known(I come wit clinched fists)
Say my flow is lame and I have no game(I come wit clinched fists)

They said i wasn't nothin, i came at 'em wit clinched fists
I took them all out and now im hollerin at they bitch
They said the wrong shit and they got split wide open
Left 'em beggin for they life, left them layin there hopin
That they could live their llives at least one more day
If they lived I bet they thank god and always pray
I watched them sit there on their knees pleading
Cut 'em and sat there enjoying the sight of them bleeding
They knew that their lifespan was quickly receiding
All I heard was the sound of their screams repeating
Then i heard the sirens,the shouts from the street
I let off one shot and did not hear one more peep
I knew that now my soul was for the devil to keep
Because they said something wrong,so i gave them "The Sleep"
Two homicides in anight was more than enough
To put me in my place, and show iwasnt that tough
I thought i was bad, so i huffed and i puffed
But i noticed i wasnt shit once i got cuffed
Leaving my mom,sister, my dad and my girl
I got scared and could do nothing but hurl
It was one life time i thought would end
One session of life i didnt want to attend
I started acting tough, it was all pretend
Didnt see my actions till freedoms end

Tell me I can't rhyme "cause I'm White(I come wit clinched fists)
Sayin that i ain't gon be full-blown(I come wit clinched fists)
Tellin me i ain't gon be well-known(I come wit clinched fists)
Say my flow is lame and I have no game(I come wit clinched fists)

leave feed please

ehhhh, i was feelin tha hook for tha most part, tha verse itself was iight

7/10 <-- almost dope

Thanx for tha feed...uppin for more

ok i on the other hand hated the hook not feeling ti for a text piece
vocab needs upped ur structure is getting better you need to work on wordplay this was overall a really basic piece nothing special i liked ur other 2 better

honestly, if you want real feed...this was trash man

no offence but ur hook had no flow. no rythm.....didnt mold at all

your verse was quite simple...no complexity nor though...just basic rhyme schemes and concepts...you have to add more wordplay and emotion anger/imagery into ur shit man....other 2 were bettter keep elevatin 3/10

1

rtf dude

thisis the first thing ive seen from you cause ive been gone for a while but heres my fb

i think it was just barely ok
i also think that the first line was played it was an alright topic but displayed in an un-alright way
it seems like there is some talent in there somewhere but you just have to grasp it and let it out


1