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-   -   For$aken Vs. MoTiF (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=142695)

FlowIntelligent. 08-15-04 10:11 PM

For$aken Vs. MoTiF
 
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Write To This Picture:


For$akeN 08-15-04 10:14 PM

chizeck

For$akeN 08-15-04 10:43 PM

lmao im so great I have no time this week so I did it now...Word

The Story Of Greatness

here's a angel from the heavens giving gifts to the young children
for them to understand and feel kindness from others in the world
they accept the presents but do not know their another lesson to learn
to not to take gifts from strangers for their own safety and protection
they have no idea what they are doing at such a young and helpless age
lack of listening to their elders and wise ones and books and pages
no plans of how they will end up, they have to make hard decisions
they think "praise no god" no paradise at all don't believe in religions
open their ears to no one can take no advice or rely in anyone they know
committing suicide to take away their problems they read in articles
that's all wrong chose the right way to let you lead a long life
don't fall into obstacles and traps along the way to ease the pain
live in poverty just to be happy shower all their struggles in rain
washing it down... hear cries but do not realize that voice was themselves...

*BOOM! back to living as a child*

experienced the truth of life and decides to live it to the fullest
no loading guns at all no weapons of destruction no dodging bullets
nothing to worry about no death I have a soul and eyes and heart too
I will never kill I pledge to that, my clothes are torn also my shoes
my parents are by my side and I feel happy and I look up at the sky
I swear to god I saw the same exact angel around and starting to fly
he mouthed words to me but I could barely make what he said out
he repeated it...but it wasn't clearly it was practically mumbled
but I knew it was something to protect me and to be true to myself
destruction to me will never happen unless it was meant to be...


quickly keyed...I went off topic lmao

MoTiF 08-16-04 03:48 PM

Check

MoTiF 08-19-04 09:19 PM

...
As the Morning Sun strikes a Glare in There Eyes..
The Children fill the Streets with Cheerful Cries..
Hovering above Dropping Drops of Love and Pleasure..
Loveing for his Gratefulness its to Much to Measure..
Red,blue,orange,green Wrappers Put's Eyes to Glow..
Slowly passing Giveing Happyness Row BY the Row..
Feathers of Flight Sent from the Minds of a God..
As they Sail in He reals them in Like a Fishing Rod..
Day by Day they count down the Months for Him..
Line the steets just for a Simple Joyment of no Sin..
For bad children Recieve a Piece of wrapped Dirt..
So all Bad is Removed so there is No Loss or Hurt..
The Passion of His Love is Felt Far and Wide..
Wait for the Day the "Hero" Sets off to Glide..

For$akeN 08-19-04 10:52 PM

nice........my monitor blew up though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keith Moon 08-20-04 07:42 PM

ummm v/ For$aken for the more complex verse......his had better imagery and sotry line..but good job both...

MaNiPuLaTiOn 08-21-04 07:14 AM

motif..fairly simple n predictable flow and rhymes.......
basically u lacked the depth of forsakens piece..


vote -forsaken....allround deeper,more imagfinative,n more effort.


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