My RiGhTs
 

Now that I'm a teen,
You must accept that I am grown.
There are no rules that I must follow.
not even from my HOME!


How anyone dare tell me,
what I should or what I shouldn't.
Who did you think you were,
when you told me that I couldn't?


I know my rights!
You can't take them away!
I don't have to listen
to anything you say!


There's nothing you can tell me.
I don't need your advice!
How can you be so dumb,
when I am so wise?


I know what is best for me.
It's my right to have my fun!
I'm only going to be young once.
When I'm old my life is done!


It's anything goes,
I don't need to worry about tomorrow!
Now is my time to party,
to play, to steal, I've no time for sorrow!


This is my body
I'll do with it what I will!
I'll share it with others
until I've had my fill!


I'll drink, I'll drive fast.
I'll even give drugs a try!
I don't have much time
before youth passes me by!


I'll stay out to all hours.
I'll pick my own friends!
I need to have fun
before this world ends!


I don't need your advice,
your love, or direction.
Nothing's going to happen
so I don't need your protection!


I know what I'm doing.
I'm really quite smart.
When I don't go to school
you say, "I'm breaking your heart."


Why can't you accept
that I know my own way!
I'll do what I want,
you've got nothing to say!


I'll have sex without worry
of disease or a child!
I'll live in the moment,
hear the call of the wild!


Bad things happen to others,
not to cool kids like me.
When you're invincible, death and disease
aren't a worry you see?


Where did you go?
I was just talking to you.
I felt something strange happen.
The next thing I heard were the words Code Blue!


Can anyone hear me?
Who turned out the lights?
It's so cold in here
and it's dark as the night.


I take it all back, I don't want my rights.
Give me a chance, I'll listen, I'll try!
Whatever you do
PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE!


Can anyone hear me?
Hello--Hello!
From the cold and the darkness
there's a silent echo.


I defended my rights
that no one can deny.
THE RIGHT I WISH YOU HAD TAKEN FROM ME
WAS MY RIGHT TO DIE!

i love how you showed the arrogance of teens and how sometimes it comes back to bite you in the proverbial ass..............the flow was dope and the content and message were classic.....................i like how you showed the teen as defiant and naive to the bitter end..............i enjoy your work every time you drop.............i forsee great things in your future...........1

Thanx 4 tha feedbak

i always enjoy readin ur insightful feedbak and fulfilling my potential

u always see every aspect of my pieces thanx 4 having a smart mind

KEEP UPPIN ~1LUV~

UpPiN...... cUz I wAnNa

No doubt
great piece, don't let people tell you what to do
pretty simple piece, kept me interested
you got your point across
keep droppin

peace

A piece that with simplicity really brought forward the emotions well. Not over elaborating too much or over complicating things. You made each stanza stand fairly strong.,

You know, you have a very similar style writing to your sister. Apart from the capitals. The use of '!', the structure of stanzas and lines..and basically, how you write in general. But especially the use of '!'. That's interesting...

Anyway, nice piece. Emotional in a fairly 'pure' (or raw) sense.

i liked it...fuck that!!!...I LOVED this poem...

it showed a teen as a rebelious image where he/she jus does wat he/she wants that finally relizes tha truth in tha end...

as i read tha poem, i was angry at tha angry points and sorrow at tha sorrow points, that is a sure sign of a good poem...

as for tech's, nice rhyme scheme, flowed well,

I take it all back, I don't want my rights.
Give me a chance, I'll listen, I'll try!
Whatever you do
PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE!

^best stanza^

overall, nice job...

Thank you, you reminded me of the kind of daughter I don't want to have. lol.

On the technical side there was nothing at all to complain about. Everything coincided properly, flow, structure, etc. etc.

It's the actual emotions. I mean, damn. I'm about as liberal as one gets when it comes to letting kids do what they want. Sure, if I had a daughter I'd let her sleep with whoever she wants too. But damn, when someone believes they have no chance at a child or disease... sheesh.

A poem like this would boil a parents blood at first. A caring parent at least. But in the end, there was karma.

~Shalom~

Also, why does it say you are banned? Did you do something you shouldn't have...?

iight

this piece was great i liked it, it was easy to read, not the greatest vocab but that didnt really effect this piece all that much

the idea is well used but i found this piece made me sit and think about parts of it that i never really payed much attention to before

i actually can remember thinking about some of the stupids things that you mentioned in here. but the one part that struck home the hardest was the lines

I'll have sex without worry
of disease or a child!

i must admit that there was a time that i actually thought that but after having Nyla, the way i thought changed alot, about alot of different things

my love

~Tera~
DONT HATE