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Prodigy vs Poet
Battle Rules:
15 - UNLIMITED Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No Bullshit 200 Posts to vote G'Luck Minimum posts to vote: 200 Check in by: 09-23-04 at 08:28 AM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Prodigy has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-20-04 08:55 AM.
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Slow Awakening
Visions trying to adjust,,. the suns really bright Can’t find my bearings I’m blinded by the light Need insight? but its not coming left wandering This can’t be a dream,. my minds still pondering Don’t even know how I got here no signs of life All I remember is a storm then our boat’s in strife I Need To Survive Need sustenance but I can’t find any food to eat Been around the coast but I need to rest my feet The wildlife is amazing, the scenery untouched The only thing I long for is a woman I can touch I need to get organized better try and make a hut Its almost nightfall so I don’t want to sleep in a rut Two Weeks After Been here a few weeks, not a rescue vessel in sight My bodies short of resources I need to win the fight My emotions running over drive I can’t hide the tears A famine on a deserted island,,. alone with no peers Mother nature hasn’t blessed this land for any life to thrive The food deprivation will kill me,. No way I can survive Don’t Forget Me I can her voices within the jungle,,.. a rescue team was sent My prayers have been answered for all my pain and torment I followed with intent,,. no way could I survive any longer As I approached the waterfall the voices became stronger I jumped into the water, trying to get to the nearby cave With a stone strapped to my leg,,.. I’m going to my grave |
Poet has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-22-04 08:05 AM.
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Topic: "Waking Up On A Deserted Island" The Dream Whispering waves N Blissful silence.. Confiding thoughts inside my mind.. Metaphorical paradise.. Creating visions Containing Colors of every kind.. Trying to define location is pointless in this Evactuation from reality.. Lying flat on a beach while White warm sand recovers my drowning mentality.. Yet Im trapped baring Conundrums of life, sporadicly haunting my every move.. Flaunting bad thoughts switching my paradise to a gauntlet of terrafying moods.. See the dream is all I have, this island is where reality collapses.. Where my mind can rest in peace, while I sleep with no real lines or axis.. I wish this were life.............I wish I could awake here every day.. But Im stuck in a world where dreams are considered foolish childs play.. Whats the reason? Wheres my life leading? My future seems bleak leaving school not by choice.. Locked out of home every other day.. I shout & scream but no one hears my voice.. My dads long gone & my moms broke she got laid off last week.. Id love to help the family, but Im 13.. Starving.. Nuthin to eat.. Got 3 baby brothers and a sister.. I try to explain they dont understand.. Why mommas passed out on a couch drunk & I gotta act like the big man.. Thats why my dreams are sacred.. I cherish every moment I sleep.. Peeps say everyone has bad days.. I got em every day of the week.. My life is morbid & Deep.. Im 13 drinking hard liquer every night.. Smoking weed to pass days in hell, Dreaming to escape realities of my life.. The End Of The Line Im back again, abandonment is eating me, mentally forced back into fiction.. The warm sand between my toes helps me escape from deamons and my addiction.. Obliterating my escape.. Im woken by gunshots outside my door.. I walk out, only to find a man standing over my moms body on the floor.. Blood on the walls, I commence to run and fall down over her body.. Collapsing hearing her last words, all she forced out was "Im Sorry" I couldnt cope.. I socked that man in his face with low effect.. He pushed me onto the ground, laughed and shot me dead on my neck.. The last thing I remember is the loud sound and my sisers eyes.. As she watches me bleed to death.. With small tears built from dispise.. Eternal Escape As my body was raised from life.. I experienced visions of memory.. Suddenly feeling found, not lost, like my burden was lifted easily.. Anticipation exceeds contentment.. This island Im on bears my views.. & You cant understand my pain till you walk down its warm beach.. In my shoes.. |
Voted For: Poet
prodigy: nice structure, nice flow.. but ya plot was kinda.. boring.. na'mean? there was nuthin wrong with it, but ya vocab was too simple on this one.. poet: way better plot and vocab... flow was on point... but you're wack.................. . . . . . . . . . .at battles ;) |
Voted For: Poet
the topic king does his thing again, i see........ nice decent solid drop, never once went off topic, strong solid vocab an altogther the more cmplex topical hands down poet got this.. prodigy, ya flow was aight, u'd whoop me in topical, but poet kinda got the topical thing on lock so u would have to drop somthin real epic to beat him, no hate.. just tellin it how i see it return the fave p e a c e |
Voted For: Poet
poet ill give you a 9.5/10 for that i felt yours it was goddly i loved it Prodigy ill haft to give you a 6/10 for yours cause i really didnt feel it that much |
return the favor please poet and hit me up on our battle were suposed to have
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Voted For: Poet
wow that was a great verse there Poet... nothin' else I can tell you to elevate on but nothing!!! Prodigy.. up your vocab... work on structure... the story was alright... but I just really couldn't get into it. You'll get better just keep battlin' man... pz. |
Voted For: Poet
wow~this was a dope piece, you had beautiful imagery,your vocab really captured the emotion well,great flow, nice way to set the tone for this, my favorite part was your closing bars, "you can't understand my pain till you walk down its warm beach..in my shoes", great ending........nice job on this prodigy~your piece was good too, and had nice flow as well, but i think poet had better vocabulary and imagery, but this was a good battle,both |
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