N-Demik vs. Understatement
 

Round 2

15 Line Min.
25 Line Max.

Check In: Monday, September 15th.

Due: Saturday, September 20th.


Topic: A Hidden Joy

W"o0o0o0ooo0o0o0o0o0................................ .............................Yeah Yeah.............................................. ......Period.

I Guess Im Here And Ready........

Good Luck To Mr.Understatement............This Should Be A Great Round...... :p

lol
why B? why? dammit.
=/

I can already feel my ass being kicked.
Well, good luck Demik.
.................................................. ..........

Bleh Yeah...Whatever...Good Luck In Rd.3 Bro... :)

Its like learning to walk, then talk back, Persians learning to steal
From any person at will, harbour Lemming morality determined to kill
First to the meal, sweet sustenance born upon vision sumbliminally
Instead, inner desire is the wildfire torching ego pedestals..terminally?
Its being heard in the street..by... Chaplin performers...Its torture
The forthcoming contorsion through Tycoons augmenting a fortune
...Okay, so my diatribe irony does nothing for poetic justification
If anything... call this buoyant bitterness a comical erasure...
A reinactment of enslavement propelled wandering through baron corridoors
Or like the omniscient commodore seeing even more, yonder off-course
Even beyond the remorse reflected in the glass thats looking back
Missing the crooked back, but no giving back to the image looking back
But he isn't looking back...In fact thats the freeze frame forever seen
from your broken parents dream, as your grubby nails unpicked the seams
...Okay, so we all enjoy copious ordeal revealed on faces in the crowd
Unborn pals or blind eye apparents, tormented souls or impulsive foes
The motion woes pleasure with pain, approves descension from gain
There is a little tyrant inside of us all... trying to escape!!!!!!
Piloting to guide the vanity stimuli, but inner hope is submerged
Lost soul preaching that if the joy is cloaked, how can we find the words?
Its now omega terms, what we heard was mediocre, nothingness in motion
The world stops to listen... but still nothing, I guess we were broken
Everything hidden is a puzzle, time devourers, I just don't have the ticks
Im only finding high spirits in liquor cabinets, I don't have the tocks either
I have the cider though, Im sure theres a hidden meaning in there somewhere....

:( we'll see how this turns out.

Here We Are In The Beginning; No, Hope Is Not Yet On The Lord's Chart
Thousand Words Paint A Picture;That Doesn't Create An Artist's Heart
A Hundred Million Metaphors, To Paint The Sisteen Chapel, For A Start
The Epitome Of The Underdogs, And Seemingly Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Rhyming Couplets Will Not Pass For Style, Better Turn Them Into Three
Who Really Believes That What Is Kindness Can Pass For What Is Weak?
Who Conceived The Very Reality, I Take For Access Granted Sneak Peek?
Hoping For A Savior, Or At The Very Least The Government's Equivalent
Human Punching Bags Charging Sixteen Dollars/Hour; Who Needs To Vent?
Who's Heaven Sent? And Who Really Gives Up Love For Lent?Not Ever You
So Teach Us Pain And Death And Abstinance, It is What You Have To Do
To Teach Me Why The Sky Is Blue, And What To Do To Cheer Him Back Up
Father Time and Yaweh Are Fist Fighting Cause Mother Nature Is A Slut
So Comprehend These Words I Send; Sit And Comprehend The Eternal Hope
And See Just How Far Your Friends Will Stray Because Of A Simple Joke
But The Hope Will Stay Nearby, That Savior Is Leaving Your Wish List
And Proceeding To Decend From The Clouds; What You Thought Was Bliss
Is Now Just An Inch Above Your Head, So You Abandon Hopes For Facts
Instead Of Remaining True And Strong, You Abandon All Your Camaracs
And Take The Easy Way Out; Start Working The Cash At The Home Depot
Come Crawling Back To Blind Faith; Use Sunglasses To Deceive People
Your Skeleton Is Roughly Shod, You Don't Understand, Turn To God


Everything Is Gone, Here Child, Become My Lament
You Spent Many A Year Telling Me To Get Bent
Hope Is No More, That's Right, No More Bliss
Yes, Come Closer, See How Sharp The Knife Is

You Need A New Hope...

another close one. both had CRAZY imagery, great ideas expressed, strong vocab, originality...

but i have to give this to n-demik for the following lines:

"Its like learning to walk, then talk back, Persians learning to steal"

"But he isn't looking back...In fact thats the freeze frame forever seen
from your broken parents dream, as your grubby nails unpicked the seams"

"There is a little tyrant inside of us all... trying to escape!!!!!!"

"Im only finding high spirits in liquor cabinets,"

vote- N-demik

you got nothing to be ashamed of understatment. good work from both of you.

so understatement didnt have any good lines
worth mentioning johnny...if your gonna judge
go in depth with it at least like geGe does....
the evaluation was lame and understatement
deserves more than one sentence

Wow, just checked this out i wasn't the only one....hmmm
blah!!............................................ ...................................
-1-

Understatement does deserve more than one sentence...
But..let's not everyone jump on Johnny, now...
If he doesnt check back in and see this, Ill tell him to edit his post and add a little more reasoning..
He's not a regular at the judging..he knows now.

Camarac...Addlibb...Phrantik...Why Johnny?
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Anyways...

Interesting topic and nice, NICE effort put forth by both fellaz. The joy was REALLY hidden..lol...

N-Demik~
Wow...Very well written...Content was interesting and was accentuated even more so by the eloquent vocabulary and knowledgable references..Very complex piece, I liked the ending, also.

"Piloting to guide the vanity stimuli, but inner hope is submerged
Lost soul preaching that if the joy is cloaked, how can we find the words?"

Great ^Line and subtle reference to the topic...Nice.

"But he isn't looking back...In fact thats the freeze frame forever seen
from your broken parents dream, as your grubby nails unpicked the seams"

^That line was incredible....Brilliant imagery, good way to get the message across....I really liked this piece.
Nice job Demik.

Understatement~
YES. I loved this verse. The first five lines pulled me way in, great style and execution.

"Here We Are In The Beginning; No, Hope Is Not Yet On The Lord's Chart
Thousand Words Paint A Picture;That Doesn't Create An Artist's Heart"

The rhyming couplets line was nice too....Really great way to start off, beautifully written.

"Who's Heaven Sent? And Who Really Gives Up Love For Lent?Not Ever You
So Teach Us Pain And Death And Abstinance, It is What You Have To Do
To Teach Me Why The Sky Is Blue, And What To Do To Cheer Him Back Up
Father Time and Yaweh Are Fist Fighting Cause Mother Nature Is A Slut"

This was soooo captivating..It made me think, and the imagery in the last line I quoted was humerous but then quickly turned serious as the message filters thru it all....I loved it.

"So Comprehend These Words I Send; Sit And Comprehend The Eternal Hope
And See Just How Far Your Friends Will Stray Because Of A Simple Joke"
I really like that line..Has a lot of meaning to it.

And lastly:

"Your Skeleton Is Roughly Shod, You Don't Understand, Turn To God"

Great conclusion, along with the final lines it italics at the very bottom..very moving way to end the piece..

Ummm, to be perfectly honest I read these and I knew right after which one I wanted to vote for...You can't really complain much about either of the two verses, two very talented poets, both brought great interpretation of the topic to the table..so really, it all comes down to which one reaches the reader more, which one has more to offer the mind's eye...Which leaves you with a greater feeling after reading it...
And for me, in this case,
It was Understatement's verse.
All around, his verse had a greater impact on me as the reader.
Great job by both tho.

VOTE: UNDERSTATEMENT

ps- I still love you, Rook;)

Phrantik's will be the deciding vote.

It's important that everyone feels they are being fairly judged, and Johnny's critiquing (or lack there of) just wasn't cuttin' it.

Camarac will be judging (assuming he agrees to), So all of Johnny's votes thus far will be DISREGARDED.

This battle is 1-0 right now, in Understatament's favor.

It is awaiting votes from Phrantik and/or Camarac.

you want a couple of more reasons why i didnt vote for understatement? alright content, i'll concede to your bitching and go into more depth.

understatement did have some great work done on this. a few stand out lines of his i noticed:

"The Epitome Of The Underdogs, And Seemingly Barking Up The Wrong Tree"

"Human Punching Bags Charging Sixteen Dollars/Hour; Who Needs To Vent?"

"Your Skeleton Is Roughly Shod, You Don't Understand, Turn To God"

3 killer lines. i still think n-demik was both more on-topic and wittier than understatement.


and i've been asked to judge because ive been on this site longer than all the other judges except DaGyrlRemarqabL. if you wanna disregard my votes even though they were fair and balanced and contained enough detail for anyone to understand why i voted fine. just dont bother asking me for any favours in the future coz you wasted my fucking time.

everyone currently in the tournaments will disagree
with your votes not just me..bitch...grow up and let it
slide you didnt judge well...maybe alright for front lines
or sommit but even gege agreed..N Demik dosent just
win cause hes N Demik....Varento dosent win just cause
hes Varento...nobody should win on their fuckin name alone....
evrn though everything has been great to this point...

run along johnny.....

Word....Why Didn't You Call Me Nancy..You Normally Do.. :rolleyes:

I Didn't Even Ask To Be In A Poetry Tourney Anyway...The End Just Felt Like Putting Me In It, So Im Not Exactly Bothered If I Lose.........And Mr.Maven Knows What I Thought About His Verse... :p

Atleast This Got Me Back To Writing I Guess And Thats The Main Thing.... :)

*Dances And Leaves Thread Gracefully*