message
 

you know : we hear alot of shit,but we know those who choose that are full of it,so dont react,let them spit:then we see who want abit(of the game)!!!
yeah its a shame:coz all they want is fame,but we soon realize there sound is like standing in the rain,10 years old got the cain but felt no pain.
yeah mayne!
bin there dun that,but those who im talking bout end up being a rat,or a fat cat,either way they go splat coz of fucked chat.
i see em,but cant hear em,
oh poor them,but they should be men,positive messages are the only things that should be sent!
or recieved,
bless those who are concieved,lets hope they achieve,
i feel for those who have to bereive.
il leave this world proud when i leave.
bye 4 now

hmmm u need to work on your structure....write in lines/bars and dont
stretch them....like this

you know : we hear alot of shit,
but we know those who choose that are full of it
so dont react,let them spit
then we see who want abit(of the game)!!!

^^^^those are your first 4 lines....its easier to read like this


seems like you forcing what u wanna put down....take it easy and think about what u putting down.....then read what u got down to see if it sounds good to u...then edit....be simple if u have to but dont be too basic and still get the point across....keep workin on it man.....~1~

word... this is pretty basic rhyming skills.. u can do better if u take the time to read wut u are writing and edit ur structure a bit... also look at other raps or listen to other flows and u can try to flow like one of those.. im not saying to bit but use those rhymes in ur own meaning and terms. change there meaning of how the first rapper used them and use them in ur own words... keep coming kid we all here to elevate

closed, whackness.