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Masked Disguise
all well explained feedback will be returned masked in disguised.. witnessed this fellows lies late at night she sits and cries.. wishes for her demise cant act in this state of depression as difficult as it is to see this fellow drowns her out with his constant negativity each day she lives.. theres one scar on her wrist each dream she has.. shes dreaming of absolute bliss although it is impossible his abusive self is unstoppable she wont live in harmony this living style is intolerable what must i do to conclude this maddness to stop her everlasting excruciating sadness to stop and think that this fellow is still alive for how many women has he been able to deprive how can she survive the circumstances she was given she rejects sexual acts and his temper becomes high risen his grip on her throat becomes unbearable to withstand her life just gives out as shes overpowered by a hand... its so simple to solve.. how was i not able to see inside this beast is a man.. and that man is me http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202323 link |
uppin for feed please.....best i have ever written no doubt so all feed back will be apreciated and i will RETURN THE FAVOR
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very emotional.. sort of dark feel to it..
gives me the image of a rainy day.. the flow was on point.. topic made for a good read.. i was really feelin the ending.. it was kinda scary to read that it was you.. im assuming that was not true lol.. i got no real complaints on this one Taz.. overall rating for this open mic............... ahhh.. uummm.. its tough to sayy... im thinkin 8ish but im leanin towards 9 lets give it a 8-9 out of 10.. keep at it |
much appreciated man....i will rtf
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that was a good om...prolly da best i've read from u so far....very emotional...lol....it was easy to read....ending was good...wasnt expecting it ...good shit....keep ritin...u keep gettin better and better
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much appreciated man..thanks^^^...........still lookin for more people
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This was a good om....i was feelin the twist it had......u had good structure an vocab Flowed Perfect...... this was one the best i seen lately.....i give it a 8.5/10.....keep it up famz....
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thanks man appreciate it......keep it comen please
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uppin.....dont sleep on me fam...
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this was good, very emotional, imagery was good, flow was pretty good, liked the twist at the end, keep it up man
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thanks man appreciate it^^^ still lookin for more,,,,bumpity bump
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Dont be sleepin on my Rv Can i get some feedback please
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Uppin...leave some feedback yo stop sleepin
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