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-   -   Take A Listen........................................ (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=230921)

Young Drama 07-02-06 05:01 AM

Take A Listen........................................
 
This the beginning of the end light skinned nigga wit a vision
Mellato militant, here to take the rap game into a crash collision
Scars covering the wounds on my backs, that came from my ancestors
That was raped by the slave masters
N I’m still here, still gonna represent
This hip hop generation, that never left but came back under false perceptions
They listed Malcolm as a problem, but his own people shot ‘em
Same thing wit Mr.King
Now we going through the same struggle, still misunderstood
How can something so beautiful be used for something not good
But never get it twisted, this rap shit started n came about from the hood
From the depths of his feet, to his flesh wounds start’n to heal
Just to ripped open again, stay on point but never die, yes, we to fly
They wanna be us, wanna use us, for they own wonders
If that’s the case, tell me y im so stuck on they wonders
Yes im talking about the forbidden fruit, the same thing Emmit Til gave his life for
2 Doller bills not enuff to cover the light bill
U wakc mcs aproach’n me, wit light skills
Its show n prove until u prove u worth my listen

Ysdat 07-02-06 05:16 AM

you need to links to open mics you have left feed back on or open mic mods will close this.



This is very generic,nothing new in it at all. You have some good vocab though, and structure is half decent,but could be alot better.
but yeh, originality is lacking.

word, make sure you get those links up.

Young Drama 07-02-06 05:53 PM

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2783759


http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2783761

Young Drama 07-02-06 08:54 PM

thnx for da feed, uppin dis shit...................................

XpLiCiT187 07-03-06 07:00 PM

This Shit Was Straight, Could Have Been Longer But I Liked The Concept... Rhyme Scheme Was Simple But Overall It Was Nice.

Young Drama 07-03-06 09:07 PM

thnx for da feed

uppin dis.............................

Young Drama 07-04-06 04:28 AM

up up n away.....................................

Young Drama 07-04-06 07:46 PM

stop snooze'n.............................

tornado220 07-06-06 02:01 AM

this is poetry but its nice poetry to make it rap you must be in first person with attitude I'm gonna change aome to rap

look i have a misled plan as a red man and that begin my end //
have vision of collisions with mellato troops, trying to crash the trend //
of the rap game i'll slp the lame with open fist not joking with this //


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