This verse here......
A verse i did. Im leavin the rest of the story out, so take what u can from it.
He saw em comin like chicken and flipped a bitch German engineerin my ass, he clipped a ditch And flipped the six Between his, the bitches blood and the blow it left a cryptic mix Evidence was needles fully loaded, tips drip with fix Jaw wired in the hospital, its his lip that clicks Like Starvin Marvin, often off in A high searchin for the only lost endorphin Hes past hittin the weed but I watched him coughin He said, save him the money, buy an auctioned coffin "Deaths waitin by my side, my only option off'rin Hell or here", grabs a tape, says "This my last accapella here Put it on one of ya beats, buy your ass some Belvedere" I ask which to spill for him, I can trade the Bel for 'Clear Saw him turn red faced, but he held the tear Ignorin visions of him leavin waitin till his health appeared But thats hopin against hope And if he dies out of respect, Ill blow more sherm and less coke Tie the hemp to firm the best rope Thinkin I can make it to heaven when it aint my turn but lets hope |
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KIlluminatic..................
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Ay, I'm feelin this verse...nice multies...structure was pretty nice...topic was kinda deep...
Overall...8.5/10 Return tha favor |
yeah i was feelin' this, i could relate to this well.
nice flow, very personal. guess who this is? |
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some decent vocab but you gotta work on
maintaining a good structure throughout ya verse, keep you lines equal in syllable counts that will help the flow, try to work on your bars instead of just writing them n leaving them, a lil more work and you could had some koo shit in that verse, just think outside the box man i was thinkin this is more a topical verse.... . i thought this couldve been koo...:(good concept) . He said, save him the money, buy an auctioned coffin "Deaths waitin by my side, my only option off'rin . bodies dropin to save money, but youve seen my britle coffin death awaits by me honey, i wish you could move so i could off-him . ^^add more wordplay and a better ryhme scheme... hope this helps, hit up my drop, its just for laughs |
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closed no link , pm me a link and this will be re-ope[ened
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