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Jonathon (2-0) vs boberric_lyrics (2-0) (Champ Match)
Checkin in Wednesday Midnight Pacific. Drop by Friday Midnight Pacific. Voting ends Sunday Midnight Pacific. Topics MUST HAVE 3 LINKS IN CHECK-IN And one must be on either the champ Or the contender match. |
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yeah, been waiting for this for a good minute.. check, best of luck
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3265813 |
Two Tounged Fork
Every day's a struggle, his kids and his wife are working his nerves as he tries to be nice. His job is his life; & at times he just knows that he wants to go home & get off the phone. Office hours seem long & scream to his wallet big bucks he's havin' but eye's run tired n' fallen. He's tired of walkin, the walk has gotten harder as years pass thoughts say his life is a bother. Days are agin' his daughter, a partying spotter until her father nailed up the window n' caught her. The son was just trying to be young, no sports but ran around half naked taking refuge in forts. His family's crazy & here lately his wife's been lazy - but yellin' all day sayin nothin' but "BABY!" Hopefully it'll tone down, but its known now that he's goin' out to drink with an old pal... At the bar... The games on so the whole place is tuned in, all the normals are here n' they braught a new brew in... Life was nice; everyone here layed back and chill laughin' and chattin'; just relaxin' a little... Usually he'd come here just to drink a beer and think a bit, talk about his life & let his wife take the kids... All the while... In the back there's two guys dressed in all black with masks robbin' an old bar full of old farts doesn't seem like a hard task. They have their glocks cocked and loaded, check their wrist their watches show that its time to get it poppin' & quick... They walk in lock the door behind em', point the glock at the bar the man was sitting there, scared as hell suckin' on his cigar. "Give me your FUCKING money old man, or I SWEAR TO GOD!" so he hands them his wallet, takes out his license n' what not... "Hey man, I know times are hard but just take it easy homie- we came in here to have a good time, relax & away from our homes see," Before he could start up his conversation they interrupt; someone in the back was talkin' and wouldn't shut up... They put the gun to his neck, n' tell him to drop the phone, all the poor guy could say is "I just wanna go home!!!" In his mind... He knows this time is going slowly, but its almost eleven, eyes are getting low and tomorrow he's gotta be up at seven... So he drops all the bull shit, stands up and says without fear, "Guys, its gettin late, so I'm gettin' the fuck outta here..." The robery suspects just stand and watch, not even a movement I guess they were shocked or they thought he was stupid... The man gave them his keys before hand so he walks with thumbs up calls his wife and tells her whats goin' on; she wasn't dumb enough to call the police so to be honest, no one really knows what happened. All we know is that the good man got out, untouched and unscratched. See, he didn't think about leavin'; but now he thinks for a few... in this situation did he bite off more than he could chew? What would've happened at the pull of a trigger, the loss of his life only? or maybe it's bigger... |
The Lies They Tell
this monster's cynical, a sitting duck, the economics critical giving us a stimulus, and try to fix it up, all too quick enough they're living large, but what for? is this sudden improvement if you love what you doing.. im always getting sucked into music blessing the mic, done as a druid would've, naturally satisfactory I'm gradually blasting beams that harass emcees with veracity attacking speech.. but they're convincing me what it isn't, then when we fucking listen, your life didn't seem much like living muscles tensing, looking on Broadway where stores is faded out boarded places, foreigns hating in front of my sovereign bank account but they stay, no doubt.. more money to be made for power and hate they should cower in shame, the same establishments that tower today but fall on their face, looking for help, less than it's all to reclaim it's costing your grave, bringing mortgages back to conquering plains chopping this change, expect this where alcoholics and bomb grow, where these projects in potholes become expensive and ominous condos it's set in your hearts stone, politricks think I haven't followed this common quest, how much money and accomplishments you can pocket quick practically an astrologist, so good at connecting the dots and shit a new idea, they brought it in, behind the sharpest pens of confidence incompetence.. only knowing the truth, thoughts can start to bend and wont be flawed if they flop, like when raises drop a small percent.. they're thinking on the edge, so they stretch the truth to compensate for the immeasurable lies they're sticking to, that are going blank taking over what your meant to stop and say, ending in a quiet quell wisps in the nighttime that fell, in the daylight that's shining spills on the lies they tell... |
yeah sorry about the late drop, i keyed it after work today having seen that you dropped earlier. wanted to be sure i showed up. it was also hard running with a topic this week too.
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vote: bob
John dissed me in our 1-2 punch so.....it makes sense |
lol, i'm kidding btw...
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vote john for getting deeper in the topic and very focus i thought bob u killed it with the flow and all but i thought hes was better thou no credit taken from u thou word...
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I'm going to vote on this shortly, I'll edit in my vote here when I do.
So much for this, haha sorry. |
Jonathan - Your verse had a good story to it, but i disliked the ending to be honest. Just a subjective point of view, but I was hoping you were going to take the topic in a different direction. As far as the piece its self, its well written and no doubt a strong topical verse. The flow is nice, everything is very smooth. However, I've seen better from you, and I had high hopes on this because the concept was dope.
Bob - Cool topic, and I was feeling the flow all the way through. Your vocabulary was very strong, and I was really diggin the whole feel to this verse. The topic is so relevant to the current state of our society and I feel like I can really connect with what your saying. Although it was held back a little because of how short it was, it was pretty tight. Vote - Bob... by a little bit. |
Jon- Eh, decent story. Nothing creative on the topic. Predictable. Basic rhymes, thought it lacked in imagery but you set the scenes and it stayed on topic.
Bob- Diff. approach, thought you tried to stay outside the box but poor wording didnt really bring out the potential this piece had. Better metaphors and similies could have helpd you alot. Topic is a pretty commonly shared emotion and thoughts. Vote- Bob. He tried to be creative on the topic. Just fell short in technique and wording. But overall a bit more enjoyable topic. |
Jon- Long piece. The topic was there clear enough, being able to pull a story out of the title was a plus. Felt like it kind of just meandered for the most part, like a lot of unecessary desciption and waiting around. The vocab and rhyme scheme were weaker than i've seen you do. The imagery was good though.
Bob- A rant piece but well put together. You conveyed your narrators dissatisfaction clearly and his self-confidence too. Your use of imagey and vocab were on point and the rhyme scheme was solid from start to finish. Felt like you could've expanded on the topic a bit more though. Vote- bob, while jon had more of a narrative, bob was stronger in the other areas of the piece which was enough to tip the balance. |
Bobericc wins by majority
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