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-   -   "Writers Block" (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=244439)

Crime 10-23-07 05:22 PM

"Writers Block"
 
im suffering from writers block & the .9 is cocked...
i put it to my temple and pop...
the lead is hot from that shot stick it in my pencil...
the beat drops i speak soft till you up the tempo...
ya heart drops body chalked looking like a stencil...
dilligence is required for the militant mind...
i got infinet shine when i spit a few lines...
that criminal mind a lyrical sign i was bound to hard times...

my mind is racing im conimplating my death...
cuz the tribulations im facing got me all stressed...
so i kneel before the pulpit pray to god & confess...
all of the sins in my life that make me feel like im hexxed...
though i admit there was a time in my life that i felt blessed...
but never the less im still cursed my emotions are flexxed...
i was tought to never regret cuz that in itself is a test...
im in a pissing contest with the lord but my flow is the best...
yes im a sinner a born loser turned winner...
but the light god shines has gradually gotten dimmer...
dropped in the water with sharks and i definetly aint a swimmer...
so i pour back some henney intoxicating my liver...
hey yo that .44 aint the only shit that i know...
i know how to use a flow that could make you die slow...
ya know
& now you trying to but heads wit a beast...
you collide,then homocide leaves you dead in the streets...
capiche'
you think you know dramma what you know a bout beef...
aint no need to use a gat when you knee deep in concrete...
i cant hold no more weight on my shoulders..
& i told ya that my attitude has definetly gotten colder...
more im more grown up now definetly getting older...
but dont ever be mistaken i still wont hesitate to fold ya...
this tracks already hot now im bout to leave it smoldered...
take my file X it out like you were skully and moulder...
all the blood swet and tears that ive dumped into these hits...
match the exact amount of bullets that im dumpin in ya click...
dont ever try to test me when you see that guns on my hip...
cuz those who know me know my trigger finger loves to twitch...

let me know what yall think this just a quick drop uppin 4 feedback holla at ya boy
BLC
ENT
THE CRIMINAL

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Dickard. 10-23-07 05:30 PM

some or ur shits okay...i mean...really need to fucking work on your flow. point blank. Matching syllables is a key thing when writing a verse. cuz if u dont do that...ur flow is fucked....theres no enjoyment to reading ur shit ya dig?

ur rhymes...meh pretty basic....but then again it would be sick if ur flow was good ya no? keep that in mind.

scanz 10-30-07 12:20 AM

rhyme schyme pretty basic... some rhymes didnt rhyme at all or were like forced... or u tryed to rhyme it more then it should... instead of 1 bar u mad 1.5bars and then it would have lost flow... u know? overall pretty basic stuff and could use some improvement... not bad.. but not greatness either.. keep workin on it.. keep it comin fams

T lite 11-01-07 02:34 PM

Kinda basic like the other cats said. You should try and focus on something deeper, and see where you can go from there.

Keep spittin' bro!

sth 11-01-07 09:27 PM

Really dig this line. Keep on keepin, bro.


so i kneel before the pulpit pray to god & confess...
all of the sins in my life that make me feel like im hexxed...
though i admit there was a time in my life that i felt blessed...
but never the less im still cursed my emotions are flexxed...

yun-gun-6 11-02-07 02:17 AM

eh, it was decent.

up ya shiit.


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