Wtf.....
 

I have recently discovered a major dilemma in my personality.

See I am a very religious man. I dedicate a lot of time to study religion and its philosophy, origions and everything else. I attempt to open peoples eyes from time to time about the truth behind religion and I always think outside the box of whats literal in order to teach and serve god in my music and normal speech because I genuinly want to help the world..

HOWEVER.....

My thought patterns are evil as fuck..
A lot of the time, I could really care less about people and their issues or feelings, I have absolutly no tolorance for stupidity and I show this often by making harsh remarks that normal people wouldnt even think of saying. I get excessivly drunk really often and take drugs on a regular basis. I judge people on their looks big time.. I am an asshole to most chicks that dont show atleast some form of intelligence (often to their face).. I am ruthless to achieve goals and usually pretty damn arrogant and not willing to give people the time of day..

This shit perplexes me so badly, cause I do enjoy my evil personality to the extent where it makes me feel good and I would have it no other way.. But I know it goes against everything I stand for as a human being..

Can anyone else in this forum relate to this? Or am I just a fucked up anomoly of a man.

Theres a 100 different ways to eplain it..

I dont know you so its hard to say, you sound like my brother... hes just bitter at the world, wants to kick everyones ass, no respect for anyone thats not as smart as him, treats girls like actual bitches but he doesnt claim to be religious.

I tihkn if you claim to be religious, then reflect what you believe.. you lyin to yourself or others. I duno whats worse.. living a lie or believing the lie.

I duno how old you are either... could jus be goin thru a phase, acting out, I duno but you wont ever be able to grow if you act differently then what you believe.

It seems you should have no tolerance for yourself...

Drugs and alcahol arnt stupid..

When you get older you will realise this if you havnt already..

you're just a fucked up anomoly of a man

I'm not here to judge you, I used to drink and I still smoke weed and do shrooms... But I can admit that it IS stupid... Not like, healthwise or whatever, but if I get caught with that shit I get expelled and probably won't get the opportunity to graduate... And I'm sure if you get caught with the drugs that there is consequences, and if you do them irresponsibly then yes their are health risks... So yes, drugs=stupid so your thread=contradictory.

Lol... We obviously come from very different backgrounds..

I am a man... I'm mature enough to know how to do drugs without being caught by the cops... And my parents no longer have any say over what substances I use... There are very few short term consiquences of drugs and alcahol for me...

For me, drugs arnt stupid... I have the freedom and will power to control my habbit and am smart enough to not fuck myself up...

Guess were just different people dude..

Well, we are different ages, and we do come from completely different countries (and continents)... So yeah, were prolly hella different... I been doing drugs for 2 years now and I have never gotten caught, and I don't think I will get caught... Call me arrogant or w/e, but it's actually just that my parents are stupid... But I know if I get caught the consequences will be harsh, and even though I know I probably wont get caught, doing anything that can get me in trouble in my opinion is stupid... I dunno, maybe even if you get caught you wont get in trouble, it's not the same for me... And from what I've read about you and alcohol, your headed down a very dangerous path... Become an alcoholic is neither a hard thing nor a good thing... Very unsafe..

I am an alcaholic...

Being an alcaholic is only bad when you get drunk alone heaps and when alcahol sends you a bit loopy... Thats not me...

When you can drink for five hours and not be drunk, you may already have health risks... Obviously your not going to listen to what some random guy on the internet tells you, but if you can't go at least an entire week without drinking, you should get help.

By the way, is that how they spell acohol in Australia?

Just curious.

What religion you practice?

None... I believe in god though.

Word, we on the same page.

How about Nos?

I practice none, analyse all.
I guess if there was one solid religion I did follow the most, it would be christianity. But thats not because I believe its the most true, I know a lot of flaws and lies in christianity. Its simply my choice and I call god 'god' when I pray..

Let me ask you..
Do you believe Jesus was a deity?