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-   -   Cancer (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=113522)

Prevailed Rue 02-10-04 10:47 PM

Cancer
 
Mom came home late again from work tired an sor..
Told me she had something important to tell me
I didn't realise the curcomstance to feel nor..
Did I willingly pay attention to her destiny

I was only thirteen it was time for me to understand
That i had to grow up cause mom was being burried
I focussed my thoughts prayed she'll be in better hands
The last thing she ever said was "I love you don't worry"

I'll take the moments the paintings of pictures
Put them in my heart on the wall close to my sight
To enclose in a death wish cause of certian figures
Denied the life I need to lead for the loss of my light

You took a great deal of pride into my lifes short journy
With you 14 years in this game called life we were a team
But the depression has passed I feel you watchen over me
I'll take your spirits hands pretect me my lost queen

Died with courage showed me life is worth the struggle
Told me to mesmerize love and obey ten comandments
Help part my life in tears but still helped sculpt the puzzle
Live on through my blood even if it means cancer arangments

FanTa ZeE 02-11-04 01:05 PM

i don't know if you knew this when you posted this heart wrenching poem, but this week is actually 'cancer week' where people express their personal feelings towards cancer and learn more about the causes and effects of the disease itself. Knowing this, i think your poem came at exactly the right time. Alot of people, 4 in 10 in fact, are affected by cancer within their lifetimes, if not directly, by means of a close relative or friend. This shows just how encompassing the disease is.

The poem itself, was good. The lines all flowed together and i think you displayed a few great ideas. Your use of imagery was amazing. An upsetting read, but a good one.

Thank You

Prevailed Rue 02-11-04 06:44 PM

I didn't know that...but thanks a lot for that information and good reply...i'll be sure to leave feedback on things of your in the future...thank you

FanTa ZeE 02-12-04 12:59 PM

thanks, thats really nice of you. is this a true story? and i usually post open mics, not much poetry these days.. keep rhyming.

shawty"B" 02-12-04 04:28 PM

the imagery in this poem was absolutely amazing!! i liked the way the poem was expressed also!! like fanta zee sed it came at the exact rite tyme....

..........fav parts...............

The last thing she ever said was "I love you don't worry"

You took a great deal of pride into my lifes short journy
With you 14 years in this game called life we were a team
But the depression has passed I feel you watchen over me
I'll take your spirits hands pretect me my lost queen
--------------------------------------------------

sry bout ur mom
nice peace keep droppin
return tha favor

.....bless

~RaPiDfIrE~ 02-12-04 08:50 PM

I can't say I had a favorite part to this, simply for the fact that I don't ever wanna hear about someone's mom dying of cancer...nothing against the poem itself tho, u did this flawlessly...imagery was really good, and gave a good idea of what exactly u were saying, without being too straight forward..you had really good vocabulary too....nice word usage too, made this a lot more heartfelt..and it is cancer week/month w/e it is..they been takin up money at my school n all that...personally I don't see how they dedicate one week to cancer patients..it seems kinda strange but oh well..sorry to hear about ur momz, how long ago did that happen?

peace


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