A Lil' Verse (Lyrikal Thought)
 

Most of these cats on Rap Verse are perversed and dumb,
MADDRAPPER's one of them niggas who shouldn't have come,
I don't need to say no names we know who tha lames,
Those wit' game represent yer' crew and sustain,
Tha same frame of mind when yer' writin' yer' thoughts,
It's like runnin' from tha cops and you don't wanna get caught,
Tha emotion in yer' veins flowin' straight to tha brain,
All you need is a mic to recite lyrikal pain,
A God of War is wha' I am and I stand as a man,
If you try to take me out it's "Summer of Sam",
'Til hell freezes ova Hip Hop's my thirst,
That's probably why I put so much thought into this lil' verse,
Peace.

http://community.rapverse.com/newth...o=newthread&f=5

I appreciate any feedback y'all give.

not bad...good flow..structure is choppy...but it flows nice...vocab could be a lil better, multis were aight, other then that...good piece...holla @ me for a colab

ShortyBlack420 = AIM

(http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=210752) (please peep this)

wow! hay look homey hate to say kit but you're not quiet on MADDRAPPER'S level hey that cat multi-rhyme vocab dude anyway this was all right for a shake and bake pies !. i tneeds vocab 2. didn't rhyme enough 3. no punchlines 4. it didn't hold th eaudience interest

bu tkeep dropping i know you will improve keep up the good work

Thanx fo' tha feed back. Gladbag there's somthin' fishy bout you, you remind me of some 1. V.I.P. Wheneva you wants to collab hit me up wit' some info.

Uppin' this....

Moved to freestyles

This isn't a freestyle though.