Slow Dance
 

OMG. Hazy baby, this piece was absolutely ADORABLE. One of the best things I've read on here in a long time, seriously! So simple, yet so full of meaning and wisdom. I loved it entirely. Every single line, great imagery, nice title and extraordinary message.
My favorite parts were:

>When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

>Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Beautiful, Mama. Great to have you back on the boards.....hope you stick around for a while...

Luv, GeGe*

i've seen this before, someone sent me this in an email so forgive me for doubting your claim to being the author but nonetheless a good piece but i cannot properly respond because i've read it before, 1luv.

wonderful spoken word type of peice..ima sucker for anythign
like this i always gets me listening...that coffeehouse beat and
a smooth voice that im imagining from yourself to lace the beat

something that people could fall asleep to or wake up with...
im saying this in a good way dont get me wrong hazy...

wonderful imagery and dialogue..nothing to critique
wouldnt wanna critique..this was awesome...

scrolling aside

:rolleyes:

la paz

??

i liked this...had good imaginary an descriptions, and emotion was pure..you could reall inhance every word an realize wut you was sayin...good vibe

iight

i too have to agree with Da NFamous i belive ive gotten it in one of those dame fwds. maybe you did write this one and its simalar to the one i got i a fwd, then i would apologise, just im not sure so i cant really reply on this one either

iight

i too have to agree with Da NFamous i belive ive gotten this poem in one of those dame fwds. maybe you did write this one and its simalar to the one i got i a fwd, then i would apologise, just im not sure so i cant really reply on this one either.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

I really liked this piece,i diden't get the meaning the first time reading it.Then i read it over again and it made a lot more sense to me.Overall it was a pretty nice poem to a hard topic,it was very basic.
Stay up...keep dropping
1

That's weird, I got this one in an email too.

Ok honestly I wasn't really feeling this.
Try to make your next piece a little more complex
Try Some Imagry, similes are sweet and easy, and so are metaphors.
Mabey its just my taste in poetry or how I write.

No beef just being real

i love this piece
i like the topic alot
and with the basic style u aplied u pulled it off big time


Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?




Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say,"hi"




When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away.



i really liked those lines






and yes i can remember u from way back
keep posting

No comment.

I've parodized plenty of lines from other people. So I shouldn't front.

But parodization and plagerization aint the same thing.

Again, no comment.

*Shrugs*

I've never known Hazy to pass off someone else's work for her own....I hope she didnt this time..

Twas like a gentle yet lightly substantial breeze. Lightly in the sense it isn't immediately heavy...

It was easy to get into. Easy to read all the way through.

Very nice piece. Executed quite superbly. Though the ending came good in the end, i felt it was a bit off (a bit, that's my critique!..heh..)..


....resp...