Round 1: NiGhTDeMiSe
 

Topic: Shadows
Due: Tuesday April 1st.
Line max: 16 lines any more will not be counted.

The top 15 will advance.

I will be here.

see's it clearly grudge the one who always see's me.
and follows freely and the way he looks makes it dreamy.
believe me he wont leave me no matter what the case.
he's a dark and evil man but shows up mostly in the day.
he's gray a follower i tell him to make his own decisions.
but he's my best friend he stays on the ground when i get lifted.
by my side when i'm spitten no matter if im losin or rippin.
never heard him bitchin actually never heard him speak at all.
so it has made me enraged planning and dreaming his fall.
why wont you talk!? i scream loudly right into his face.
realize its blank it isnt me his body aint close to my length.
he changes by days im pissed i know that this isnt right.
but i killed him as i stepped to my room and turned off the light.
he's out of my sight at last happiness filled my self.
but at that second i realized something else my mind flustered.
i didnt kill him. i just brought to life all of his brothers.


.living in the shadows.

closed. will re-open for judging.

Start voting.

decent piece. on topic, flow was good, structure was sub par, all together it was decent.
vote' goes on

umm i read this piece and i feel it stayed with topic nicely i do not feel it is strong enough to go to the next round.....Then again this voting system sucks so

lmao at deacon....

take the votes for what they are--remember

i was just laughing....
lmao at deacon more....

it followed the topic... shadows was a hard topic to actually be creative with... you did an alright job...
vote: next round

Well...hmmm...

...i felt the approach to this topic was fairly good, and kind of original too...

...the start was strong enough, if not a bit shakey at times...but you remained on the concept well...even though once you got off the start (first 3-4 lines) i felt your execution of some lines was below par..it began to disrupt the flow a bit, and felt less poetic, and therefore the depiction was also disrupted in a way...

...still, i felt it kept on going strong enough...and you ended it off very well..

so my vote is: You DO go through

7.5/10