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Captain Bush
A little somethin I wrote in my RB days..
An age where darkness ruled...sinister with commotion Thousands of bodies were left ministered in the ocean Showing no notion of love... nor any signs of respect Cloaks torn by bones, leaving blood stains on the neck Of a hectic maniac, a man who had power over seas Believed to be seen... only bringing men to their knees A mutiny had arisen, his power grew to a sinister stage Caged by his own ambition - thrown to a watery grave Some say: he went insane before hitting the corel floor Core strength was flooded - captain caught in a moral war Fourteen hundred other soldiers, hands on their swords Swore to protect their crew.. fighting amoungst hoards More men were established as brave, they became feared And they were tossed to the ocean, not tasting the tears Of the family that abandoned them - it's happening today Some say: Bush is brave. But we'll find out another way. He'll become feared, there will be a mutiny truely, i sigh it But if the ocean breathes salty....George Bush is a pirate. http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2110741 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2110749 |
haha, this was cool......good relation and nice fuckin' flow yo, haha, overall, it was a great piece, vivid imagery, not too much emotion though, i thought, but still a kick ass piece........OG'S.....YAY!
keep up |
up.........................
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upping for feed
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upping for feedback because mothercfuckersss sleeep
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This was an iight peice...
You had nice structure.. good feeling.. and nice flow...you had nice flow...that really made your verse..really stand out.. You had nice imagery... It was an iiight drop... could have been alot better.. Next time try to use alittle more emotions.. and try to grab the concept alittle more.. |
probably shouldnt up this after so long, but eh
but thanks to mr bones, appreciated |
this was a hellaz tight ryme 8/10 nice flow r u makin fun of gwb or is a pirate a good thing cuz we wnt to war and we'll find out in the long run
ne wayz leave feed on my shit......................... http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=189165 |
it was written shortly after the re-election of bush and it was comtemplating a civil war between supporters and non-supporters due to the war..
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ye this wuz very tight, you had a good use of vocab, this sounded more like a poem but still you had a very nice flow...you got the skillz dawg, and I go wit bones in this one, you have to try to get the concept a lil' more
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